sex

Random Facts About Me

· October 20, 2008 · Thoughts · , , · 9 Comments

I’ve been tagged!

The Snarling Misanthrope tagged me. I’ll warn you I’m much better at writing without a goal in mind. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, seven little known facts about myself.

– I lost my virginity to two women. Yes, they were aggressive, yes it was awesome but it was my first time and it didn’t last long. In fact, I think I lasted less time than it’s taken me to write this blog. Now that I can actually have experience and actually have some skills It’s hard as hell to find one. Threesomes are wasted on the young. If only I had a time machine so I could have a do-over.

-The only other language I know is American Sign Language. It’s such a great language. The more I learn the more in awe I am. It helps when you’re best friend is your teacher.

-The first time a woman wanted to fuck me with a strapon I declined. I declined the second, the third, fourth and fifth time as well. The sixth time I agreed. Again I wish I had a time machine and get that first time back as a do-me-over.

-I’ve memorize pi to the 8th decimal. (Yeah, the ladies think that’s really sexy)

-When I want to take my mind off of stuff I’ll play a geeky MMORPG (and no, not World of Warcraft.)

-My lifelong dream is to create a drink that tastes exactly like pussy.

-I was once shot in Milwaukee before giving a speech by saloonkeeper John Schrank. I ended up giving the speech anyway while the bullet was still in my body. I declared that it “takes more than one bullet to kill a Bull Moose”.

Oh wait, sorry, that last one wasn’t me. I sometimes confuse myself for Teddy Roosevelt.

I’ll let you make up a random fact about me since I can’t seem to think of another one on my own.

Submissive Or Slave?

· October 18, 2008 · Events · , , , , , , , · 20 Comments

I had an interesting yet frustrating conversation with someone who questioned why I call myself submissive and not a slave.

For those of you that don’t know, there always seems to be a big argument in the BDSM community over who should call themselves submissive and who should call themselves a slave. Frankly I stopped giving a shit what people call themselves long ago.

The conversation went something like this:

Dominant guy: God… you should use the slave title. You are obviously looking for a service oriented position to where the Dominant in return gives you structure and stability. The only worry that you SHOULD have is serving your Master.

Me: Most Dommes seem to want a submissive in the bedroom but a vanilla guy outside of it.

Dominant guy: Stay away from the submissive title. It scares Masters like me away. Haha

Thankfully I’m not interested in a dominant guy so it really doesn’t matter if it scares away masters (lowercase on purpose) like him. It’s funny how that works though, dominant guys seem to be more interested in D/s than dominant women. I’ve been to a number of D/s oriented events, the last one I went to had maybe 50 gay couples, 50 Dominant male/submissive female couples, a few lesbian couples and two dominant women/male submissive couples.

Many dominant women have expressed to me their desires for a “submissive sometimes in the bedroom but my equal outside of it”. That’s the reason I shy away from calling myself a slave. It scares women off. Not only that, since I’ve pretty much given up on finding anything other than casual play, more and more women seem comfortable with someone who just submits to them in the bedroom. I’m all for that. Sure there’s a part of me that craves D/s, but the part of me that is dying to try out new things in the realm of BDSM overrides the part of me that needs D/s.

I’d rather be a submissive with a chance of getting fucked and toyed with than a slave who’s got no chance in hell.

I’m even cautious about mentioning my interests in D/s when someone asks me what I’m into since that’s enough to scare some off. I should maybe only qualify it by saying “look, someday, if I met someone who wanted to own me outside the bedroom, then great. But right now I’m only looking for casual play”.

Here’s another example from someone after she discovered D/s was something I enjoy:

“Yikes, are you someone that lives the lifestyle 24/7? Im not really down with that. I love sex with down right perversion, but Im not looking to own anyone…thats too heavy for me.”

It took me a while to convince her that I was perfectly happy just having sex with perversion but my interests in D/s may have cost me a one night stand with someone who enjoys things I’m dying to try.

So maybe I am a slave if that’s someone who enjoys D/s outside the bedroom. If that scares you away then I’m submissive. If that scares you away then I’m just kinky. If that scares you away then I’m just jerking off at home.

Suspending My Campaign…For a Domme

· September 26, 2008 · Thoughts · , , · 10 Comments

My dear readers,

Upon the sudden (or seemingly so) financial crisis, I’ve decided that the country needs my help and I simply cannot continue looking for casual sex while the wealthiest Americans aren’t making as much money as they were before. Granted, they’re still making more money in a month than most Americans will see in their lifetime, but it’s just not fast enough. I’ve heard horrible stories of rich white men who have had to sell their vacation homes or who have had to settle for dining out at Per Se only twice a week. It’s because of this crisis that I’ve decided to suspend my campaign for kinky sex.

Oh I know, you’re going to say that I looked at the poll numbers and found that a majority of dominant women have no interest in erecting me for their pleasure. This could not be further from the truth. This isn’t some gimmick where I’m hoping that women everywhere will see me putting country first and begin to swoon.

Others might say that I’m simply giving up because I’ve realized that I’m just not that attractive and therefore have no hope in finding someone. I couldn’t disagree more. The fundamentals of my sex appeal remain strong. Despite evidence to the contrary and despite what everyone says about me, the fundamentals of my sex appeal remain strong.

I know many of you read my blog and enjoy debating the various aspects of my failed attempts. While I enjoy a good debate, we must look to the greater good and put all debates on hold. Please understand that this doesn’t mean I’m not prepared for a debate, nor does it mean that I’m worried that another debate would decrease my chances of winning the affection of a woman who would elect me to worship her body.

I plan on suspending my campaign until I’m confident that the economy is stable and strong once again.

Or until I have the opportunity to have sex again.

Hey, I don’t love my country THAT much.

You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

· September 23, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , , , · 14 Comments

I was given a paradox recently.

How do you please a woman who is most pleased by you not trying to please her?

How does one play hard to get in order to attract a woman who would rather have a guy she needs to push into submission as opposed to a guy who’s dying to get on his knees from the start?

I find that there’s no middle of the road for me. When I’m confident, many just assume I’m dominant and when I’m eager to please I’m too submissive.

Surely there must be a middle spot somewhere. (and don’t call me Shirley).

I’ve been meeting some cool new people lately. People in and out of the lifestyle. Ok…Women in and out of the lifestyle. I seem to always wonder if it’s a date or if I’m just hanging out as a friend. I always go into it assuming friends and not displaying any kind of interest. It’s so much better that way. No hard feelings, not needing to worry about getting shot down or being too eager. After all, if she’s interested, hopefully she’ll indicate in some way right?

I’ve never been good at reading signals from women. I have no clue when they’re attracted to me unless they pretty much hold up a sign.

It is very easy to misread playful flirting for real sexual interest however. Especially in the kink scene.

A woman can grab a guys package in leu of a handshake or a hug to say hello and it probably only means “hello” (It’s happened on a number of occasions). Because of this I’ve learned to tune out just about every form of flirting. I think the only way I’ll get the hint from here on is if a woman grabs me and says “I really want to fuck you. I’m dead serious. No… really. I’m not kidding here. See? This is me giving you my number. Here is the address of where my bed is. This is not a dream, this is actually happening.”.

I’ve found myself giving advice to a number of women lately. Specifically about dating submissive men. I always try to give the best advice I can, though I’m not exactly an expert on the subject. My most trying conversation was when a poly friend was complaining about not being able to find a third partner.

I’ll type that part again:

She was complaining about not being able to find a third partner.

Isn’t that like complaining to a homeless guy about not being able to find a good vacation home?

Hello Sex, Long Time No See

· May 18, 2008 · Thoughts · · 10 Comments

It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex or played.

Sometimes I wonder if a good fuck is all I need and other times I wonder if it will just make me want sex and BDSM even more.

I’ll admit, I’m a picky SOB. Whenever I get comments or emails from readers saying “I just don’t understand why you can’t find someone to play with you…”, The answer is simple. Yes, I can find someone to play, but I can’t play/fuck with just anyone. I need to be attracted to them.

Say that to some people and they’ll say “Well, DUH” and others will say I’m too picky.

I do feel bad when I need to tell someone I’m not interested. For some reason it’s a bad thing when a guy isn’t attracted to a woman but it’s OK for a woman to not be attracted to a guy.

I only feel submissive to someone I’m attracted to mentally and physically. I can’t submit to a woman just because she calls herself a dominant. I wish I could be one of those guys. I know it’s a bit of a flaw that I need to be sexually and mentally attracted to someone on some level in order to play. It limits me.

I know plenty of guys who’d fuck anyone, but I’ve never been one of those guys.

When I was 17 I wanted to lose my virginity more than anything else in the world. It was so bad I could taste it. If an attractive girl looked at me wrong I’d get instantly hard (ok that still happens to this day but that’s besides the point).

A few of my older guy friends decided after a long night of drinking that they were going to get me laid. They knew a woman who’d pretty much sleep with anyone that knocked on her door. We all stumbled into the lobby of her apartment and when she came out to greet us I couldn’t have been more turned off. She was…..not who I wanted to lose my virginity to. Not even, no, not even close.

My buddies tried to push me to go into her apartment. I specifically remember yelling “Fuck no” (Hey I was 17 and drunk). My friends went into her apartment and I waited in the lobby. An hour later they returned and started giving me shit for backing out.

“Boy you really missed out.”

“You can’t be so picky, it’s just sex.”

“If you’re waiting for a hot girl, you’ll be a virgin for a very long time.”

I just sat there quietly while they bragged about their conquest and how great she was in bed.

A week later they admitted that she gave them Chlamydia.

One year later I lost my virginity to two college girls.

It was worth the wait.

I hope my current wait is worth it as well.

I may need to go vanilla to get this itch scratched.

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