My Hangup

Sade has been entertaining the idea of having another submissive over from time to time for service.

My 2nd job takes up so much of my time and the thought is that getting a service submissive to help pick up some of the slack would make things a bit easier.

The biggest issue is my hangup with not being comfortable with another male submissive in the house serving her. A female submissive is another story in my mind, it’s weird and it’s a hangup I really wish I didn’t have.

It’s similar to how I feel about anything sexual between Sade and I and another person. A female submissive has things that I can’t offer and I have things a female sub can’t offer. I wouldn’t feel the same type of jealousy or competition or worry if there was a female submissive here.

We’ve actually had a female sub over for service once and I was much more comfortable than I had imagined I would be. She only came over to our place once and that was it but I worried about it the days leading up to it and when it happened I was only slightly uncomfortable and didn’t feel like I was in competition or anything….super casual.

The problem is, I know it would be easier for Sade to find a submissive guy than finding a submissive woman. It’s just my hang-ups and worry that keeps it limited to a female sub. I hate myself for feeling that way but there it is and Sade respects that even though it makes things harder for her.

I know right now someone is thinking “Well if you really wanted to please her you’d be fine with a submissive guy coming over”. I know, right? This is what I tell myself over and over. I’m standing in the way something being easier for her. Trust me, those words pop into my head every time the subject comes up and it makes me angry at myself.

So I don’t know. It’s not like Sade is actively looking for anyone for the position. If a female came up to her she’d probably entertain the idea if she was a fit. She’s mentioned that if we did have a submissive here then I’d be the “Alpha sub”. I don’t know exactly how that would look but it sounds like she’d have me help delegate things.

I think about it often and it comes out the same way:

Idea of a female sub servicing Sade = “Not a threat and could be fun?”
Idea of a male sub serving Sade = “Who’s that creepy asshat make him go the fuck away”

The Future Is Here! 3D Scanned Penis Replicas

Years ago Sade and I…ok Sade tried to replicate my cock by using one of those cast molds that you mix up, get hard and plunge yourself into the molding, do the opposite of thinking about baseball for what felt like an eternity and when we were done we didn’t have a replica of my penis, we had what looked like a plastic model of the space shuttle that had been sitting a little too close to the campfire.

Well my friends the future is here. No longer will you or your partner need to rush to coordinate erections with a failed chemistry set. No more messy cleanup because you thrust yourself into the canister a little too fast. No more worrying you’ll lose your erection because there’s a joke photo of a clown on the fridge and you’re doing this in the kitchen because it’s easier to clean up the above mess.

I’ve mentioned my friends at New York Toy Collective before. They make amazing dildos of various kinds, lovingly crafted right here in NYC and now they’re doing 3D penis scan and replicas with their project Rival Mi.

This isn’t anything new for them, they’ve been doing it for quite a while but now they’ve got even newer scanning equipment.

If you want to learn more just head over to the website, you can find out how they used 3D penis scanning to help someone in need by checkout out the video below.

Note: The tech used to scan is even more modern now than in the video, it doesn’t require anyone else to run the scanner, it’s just you  (a friend can join you in the room if you could use some company/support/inspiration/helping hand)

Porn For Women on the latest Masocast

sophieSophie Delancey sat down with me on the latest episode of the podcast.  In it we talk about her role as a porn creator and VP of  a couple of porn sites including The Art Of Blowjob and The Art Of Cunnilingus.  We talk porn for women, the kink scene in Toronto, her experiences in the scene, sex parties, porn for women a a whole lot more.  You can find her on twitter here.

Comics, My Early Exposure To My Kind Of Femdom

As I’ve mentioned before I’ve had submissive tendencies for as long as I can remember.  While the earliest of these revolved around Wonder Woman and Daisy Duke I was recently reminded of another big “Ah ha” moment when I was growing up.

X-Men #170

The big trigger revolved around the main plot.  The leader off a band of subterrainian mutants, Callisto, kidnaps the X-man Angel  to take him as her mate.

I found two panels that really did it for me. )



The first is an image of Callisto having pierced Angel’s wings and bound him to a wall.  In the panel she declares..well a bunch of stuff but the key is:

“As for why Angel’s here — every princess must have her prince and as for me who more fitting ..than the most beautiful man in the world”

I read this long before I even knew what sex was but I must have looked at this a billion times and never wanted to be a superhero as much ad I did then.

But it gets better.

(Wait I should say right here that I know Angel eventually loses his wings due to this scene but it wasn’t that obvious at the time and..there’s no blood here or anything and besides I was a kid)


And gets better.


Pretty blatantly She looks at him, holding his face and says:

“Comfy my pretty-pretty? Looking forward to our wedding night? I certainly am.”

Again I’m a kid, I didn’t know exactly what happened on the wedding night but I knew SOMETHING happened and it involved nakedness.

Later Storm fights Callisto, kicks her ass and frees Angel.  So essentially two women are fighting over him and the kid version of me didn’t know it but this idea was going to define my kind of D/s.   A strong dominant woman desires me so much that she’s willing to take me for herself, slap me up on a wall and while it may hurt she doesn’t want me injured so much that I can’t fuck…I just cant’ fly.  Wait that came out all wrong but you get the idea.

No bit of femdom porn would define my sexuality as much as this and other slightly-similar scenes would.

The Perfect Kink Bed

For the past 6 years, Sade and I have had the same bed. It’s an Ikea wooden platform bed we’ve converted to meet our sex life.  Surrounding the bed are a series of brackets with steel rings for bondage points.

Home made bondage bed

Back of the bed, rings can be flipped down to hide them

It took less than an hour and it works surprisingly well.  My worry was that we’d get into a heavy scene and I’d be pulling on it so hard  that I’d rip the rings right off the bed.

ring and rope bondage points

Making a bondage bed on the cheap

Well after six years of use the bed is about to give out on us.  The creaking is getting louder and it’s not nearly as sturdy as it once was.

The last few days I’ve been looking for a replacement.   Something not too obvious so family doesn’t freak out when they visit, something raised off the floor enough to give us a good chunk of storage.

Metal Bound is the first place I looked.  If you haven’t seen it get ready to drool.   It’s the gold standard.  Almost everything on Metal Bound is on our “When we win the lottery” list.   Holy crap that work is amazing.

Stockroom was the next place I looked, really amazing stuff but doesn’t fit our needs.

I can see where this is going so I’m also debating taking a vanilla bed and kinkifying it.

I’d love to hear any reviews/suggestions for a good bed to kinkify or an pre-kinked affordable bed. So if you’ve got any, throw ’em my way either via email, tweet or right here in the comments.