I felt queasy, my head hurt and I just felt blah as I lay on our big leather couch. 

She walks in front of me and puts a container of lube on the coffee table.  I immediately assume she wants to fuck me and wonder what she could possibly be thinking considering how crappy I’m feeling.  Sex or anything like it is the furthest thing from my mind.

I remind her I’m not feeling well (without trying to sound ungrateful) and she replies “I don’t care, I want to play with my cock”.

She instructs me to pull up some porn on my laptop (this is a new one) and to relax.

I pull up the first porn I can find that looks decent but know I probably won’t be looking at the screen at all.

Soon she’s pulled my clothes off and I’m laying back…..

(ummm….I should note for all of our friends who come over often and read this, I clean the leather couch regularly and a majority of the time we have a towel or something underneath us when we do anything on our couch…unless that turns you on…just let us know before you come over that you’d like us to fuck on it beforehand and we can work something out.)

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

Soon she’s pulled my clothes off and I’m laying back.  Despite feeling under the weather I’m hard and panting in no time while she slowly strokes me.

It always fucks with my head when she’s playing with me this way.  I never know what her intentions are.  Is she going to be teasing me for the next hour?  Will she bring me to the edge over and over then deny me?  Will she make this long and drawn out or is she just doing this to get off knowing she can get me hard and make me orgasm even when I’m feeling like crap?

Why does this fuck with my head?   Because there’s a switch I have in my head when I know I need to try and pace myself for a long duration. I can breath and to hold back to prevent myself from edging too early or I can just let myself go.  Sometimes she tells me when she’s going to bring me to the edge over and over and that helps me pace myself, other times she just wants to see me cum.  

She continued her long slow strokes for a few more minutes then started picking up the pace, using both of her hands to bring me closer and closer.  I had barely looked at the porn playing on my laptop.  It was far too easy to get swept away with the reality of what was happening between us than the couple fucking on screen.

She picked up the pace and moved one of her hands down and started pulling on my balls.  When she does this it usually means she wants me to cum soon.  Our eyes locked and I could feel the muscles in my body tighten, I was at the point where I had to consciously prevent myself from going over the edge.  She pulled down harder on my balls and sped up stroking even faster.

I tried to plead with her to let me  go over the edge as our eyes were locked.  I don’t remember if I could even speak.

Eventually she commanded:  ”Now”

My body arched as it overtook me and I screamed while she sounded her approval.

As I was coming down from my high I asked if I could go down on her.

“No, I just wanted to play with my cock.  Now go clean up”.

I should say that  I’m a very heavy sleeper.  So heavy that she’ll sometimes ride me in my sleep and I’ll barely even remember it the next morning.  This time she was doing things that made it impossible for me to stay asleep.

I vaguely remember her putting the handcuffs on me, pushing my hands up over my head and ripping my pants off while I was on the couch and sliding a towel underneath me.  I remember catching a glimpse of her wearing her leather harness and her cock.

I remember her spreading my legs and sliding into me, pushing my shirt up to expose my chest and pinching my nipples with one hand and stroking me with another.  Fucking me while stroking me and using my cock as leverage to slam into me.

I don’t remember how long she fucked me I was in such a daze but soon she was counting down from ten and when she hit “one” she then ordered “Now!” and a wave rushed over me for the longest time.

After I came down from the high I noticed the clock displayed just after three in the morning.

We showered.   Washing her back was all it took for me to be ready for round two and soon our wet bodies were in the bedroom but this time it was all about her pleasure.

The last thing I remember was looking at the clock and noting it was after four in the morning.

I woke up late for work, rushed out the door and made it into the office in the nick of time.  I was in a fog for the rest of the day.  My body achy and numb.

Worth it.

Fetlife Event Link

May 26-27: Creating and Living Positive BDSM and Kinky Lifestyle Relationships“
A Special Weekend Workshop with Eric Pride and Sir Stephen”

When: Saturday, May 26, 2012 ·10:00 AM –Sunday, May 27, 2012 · 4:00 PM

Where: NYCKL Studios (location sent upon registration)

$95 until May 1, thereafter $120

This two-day workshop is for individuals, couples and families who identify with a kinky or BDSM lifestyle and desire to incorporate it into their daily lives – irrespective of gender identity, sexuality or kink interests. It is intended for anyone who wants to start a new relationship, take an existing one to the next level, or simply wants to learn more about alternative lifestyle relationships.

Major topics include:

• Finding and meeting potential partners in the scene
• Building lifestyle relationships that lead to the greatest likelihood of long-term success
• Keeping the “magic” in our relationships for the long-term
• Fulfilling our and our partners sexual, S&M and kinky needs
• What do we mean by “good communication”? Building effective communication tools and skills
• Dealing with common lifestyle related issues, and successfully navigating conflicts in alternative lifestyle relationship

Instructors:
This workshop series is brought to New York City by Eric Pride (click for bio) and Sir Stephen (click for bio), both having their own unique lifestyle households. The event is hosted by NYCKL Studios and NYC Kinky Living.

The workshop has been offered since October in 2010 in New York City, and has been featured in Time Out New York (click for article).

I was sitting there at this old-timey place on the upper-east side, It’s way too expensive for what I could get a cut for ($35) but I go there because it reminds me of the place I got my first haircut.

He had given me my very first harcut and every haircut after that until I left home to seek my fame and fortune.

We never had any big conversations.  Always small-talk but he’d throw in a quick joke here and there, he’d give me an update on his son who was my age and I’d blabber on about who-knows-what.

After every haircut he’d throw me a penny to use in the gumball machine.   When I was very young he’d hand me a penny.  I was way too young to catch it but getting that gumball was always the highlight of our family trips into town.   That and the comic book rack in the drugstore on main street next to the barber shop.

I still remember when he threw me  the penny instead of handing it to me.  I felt so big.  Like I was older.  I felt like a man, even though I was probably 5 years old.  I was old enough to catch it and it meant so much to me that he did that.   I still remember how cool I felt.

I’m still searching for my fame and fortune but every time I’d go back home I’d stop in to get my haircut and that old-timey barbershop in that small midwestern town.   I’d go even though my female friends said he didn’t help my appearance, that the style he’d give me was no style at all.  But I needed to go.  It was tradition.   He’d tell me the news about town, drop a few jokes here and there and eventually I’d stand up and pay him.  The silly thing is, I’d always forget about the penny until I was just about to go out the door and he’d say “hey” and toss it to me.  It was impossible not to smile.

The years in between my haircuts with him would get further and further apart but I looked forward to it every time.

Then a few years ago I got a call from home.

He was been a very athletic guy.  From what I remember he’d run marathons, bike.  In fact he was the only person I knew as a kid who would exercise.   Everyone else in my life got their exercise from working in the fields or chasing cattle.  I always though how “big city” it was of him that he’d go jogging and biking for the sport of it.

It turns out one day his doctor told him he had a type of cancer that would take his life and it was inoperable.   He had some time before he’d feel the effects of it but within two years he’d be dead.   He went home after this news was given and he killed himself.

When I first heard about it I was sad but I didn’t cry or anything.  I took it in and after another day or so I had forgotten all about it.  He wasn’t a big part of my life by any means but I’d remember him every time I got a haircut.

Then…tonight after work I was sitting there and I remembered that penny, how he made me feel when I was 5 and how I never really thanked him.  I never returned the favor by sending him a christmas card or called him to check in or even just to say how cool it was that he gave everyone a penny for the gumball machine if he had cut their hair as a kid.  It made me miss home a bit too.

So there I was getting my haircut and trying to hold back tears.  Instead I turned my mind to Sade, knowing she always makes me smile but then I started feeling overwhelmed with joy and how lucky I was and I started tearing up again.

Fuck

I managed to hold it off without anyone (hopefully) noticing, but I’ve been thinking all night about the people around us and how the smallest gestures can make a lasting impact…

…especially with the people we barely know.

I log into our media player remotely (It’s a mac-mini hooked up to our stereo) and play a song our of the speakers in our bedroom.

Every morning I’m not there I play a song to wake her up and sometimes it’s hard to pick the song.

Every morning I imagine what I would play for her if I was there.  Of course if I was there I wouldn’t play anything since I’d much rather wake her up with my lips.

Sometimes I close my eyes and feel what the morning feels like, what I’m feeling like.  Am I feeling psyched for a new day? Cuddly? Horny?

I’ll log in and browse our music collection.  If the song isn’t there I’ll download it (usually legally).

I’ll click play and slowly turn the volume in the bedroom up.

I’ll imagine her stirring to the begging of the song.  A smile crossing her lips ad hoping that the vibe of the song.  Shortly after she’ll usually call or text me with a smile.

Sometimes the songs are silly-love-songs, sometimes they’re happy, sometimes they’re the songs that let me know I’m missing her.

But they’re all filled with the hope that one day I’ll be able to work from home and cuddle up next to her instead of connecting to her over wi-fi.

Human furniture is a very popular theme in fashion photography. (Sade said that when I showed her these images, made me sound smart right?).

There is a point when you are playing at a public party, a point where the world shifts and reality changes.  At first it’s a very small shift but then it widens to envelope everyone in the room but Sade and I.  It muffles them and makes them blurry while Sade becomes clearer to me.  Then there’s a different point. It’s just a little bit further but it’s where everyone in the room disappears.    A point where everyone else just fades away and Sade becomes the only person in the room.

Just another moment layer and that spot becomes bigger and she’s not just the only person in the room bit the only person in the universe.

For a moment it’s just us and there’s nothing better than that feeling.  For a moment there’s no work, no bills to pay or family members to worry about, politics to think about or anything in the universe but her.

It’s peaceful.

I’m sure anyone watching would disagree but it’s one of the few times when my mind isn’t thinking about anything. I don’t need to worry about waking the neighbors with my screams and she doesn’t need to bother them with loud cracks slaps and thuds.

It’s so peaceful, this place with her where there’s noting but us.

Yes, I’m a very deep sleeper.