D/s Relationships

A New Masocast: #159 for the Downton Abbey Crowd

#159, man I can’t believe I’ve done 159 of these things.

Had a great time talking to Matt, another great guest from the UK.
We talked about his early experiences in the London Kink scene, his long term relationship with his partner and how their D/s has changed and evolved over time, chastity, the nuance of protocols, how to handle an adventurous kink life while still being a good parent, role reversal and a whole lot more.

Matt’s on Fetlife too you can find him at Chatr0issy. Be sure to thank him for being such a great guest. While you’re there feel free to friend the Masocast.

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You can subscribe, find more info and donate a couple of bucks to support the show at Masocast.com

Overcoming My Fear Of Needle-Play

My first exposure to needles I was drunk and at a party so there was a lot going on to distract me.

The second time I was sober, very very nervous, partially hyperventilating, whimpering and it took a lot of self control to keep from begging her to stop.

The third time went much better.

See here’s the thing. Sade really likes needle play. Ok, she loves needle play. I’ve seen photos of some of her needle play in the past and it scares the crap out of me.

It’s not like I’m afraid of needles when I go to the doctor. It’s just that the the idea of needles being fun is very foreign to me. Whenever I see some of the more hardcore images of needle play, I see what looks like permanent damage.   

My fear may come from an experience I had with cutting once. The dominant made a small pattern on my back (with my consent of course) with a razor blade. I was told the marks would be there for a month or two or three then it would go away. This is true for most people. Well it’s been three years now and I still have a scar from that cutting. So perhaps I associate any kind of breaking of the skin to be something permanent.

Or maybe I’m just a chicken-shit when it comes to needles.

It makes me self-consious as well since I know this is something she really really enjoys and it’s not something I’m good at. I want to be a good needle-bottom (if that’s even a phrase), I want to love it as much as she does. I want it to turn me on as much as it turns her on but I have the opposite reaction. I wan’t to please her in this way but it’s so hard for me to get over that fear.

Well the other night, Sade and a friend were at our place and they were talking about needle play and the next thing I knew I was half-naked, bound on our coffee table with needles penetrating my skin.

But this time it was different. Sade knew how hard it was for me. She would lovingly stroke my skin, gently kiss my lips, giving me words of encouragement telling me what a good job I was doing and even though I was still worried and nervous, she made me much more comfortable.

Even though she was making it much easier, I was still in a headspace that I’d rather not have been in.

She asked me how I was doing and I replied “Fine, but I’ll be better when this is over”.

The second it came out of my mouth I was kicking myself for saying it. Here I was, bound on a table with my amazing owner and her friend playing with me and I was commenting on how I couldn’t wait for it to be over. What an assface thing to say.

I bit my lip and tried to contain myself every time the needle went in.

She kissed me and I would forget all about the needles for a few moments.

She’d stroke my skin and I’d relax a bit more.

Eventually I was able to focus more on the dynamic of what was happening more than what was actually happening. I could feel myself submitting to the needles or more submitting to her through the needles. I was doing it to please her.

Eventually it was over and her friend thanked me and I asked Sade how I had done.

“You did very well, the only way it could have been better is if your cock was hard from the experience”.

Someday, I’m betting it will be.

Here are a few photos of what when down….or…in.



The Week Of Beatings Continued

Day 6: Once again I’m both scared and looking forward to it. She wallops me for 15 minutes non-stop. Again and again. Time stops in my mind and when she’s done I can barely move I’m so worn out. I’m tied up, drooling and moaning afterwards. She helps me up and we cuddle until I fall asleep.

Day 7: The last day. She ties me to our new leather couch. My elbows tied to my knees and she uses a variety of implements on me including a wooden spoon. I’m almost sad when it’s over.

I can tell how I’ve progressed over the course of the week. I’m glad that it worked. I’m not sure if my tolerance for pain is higher but I noticed a few changes in how I viewed the pain.

Early on, when the pain was very very intense, my mind would start to play tricks on me. I’d start to wonder if she really cared about me or if she was upset with me. Punishment play, when it’s really really painful is still connected with disappointment in some ways. This week helped change that a bit.

Now it’s been two days since she’s had me bent over and I do miss it. Not just the intimacy and the intensity, but how hot it makes her.

Good thing there are plenty of other things that get her hot as well.

I’m a very lucky boy.

Be Careful What You Wish For

She has mentioned a few things that she’s always wanted to do but hadn’t yet.

I told her I would do them (of course) and one in particular made me wince but at the same time eager to do it. Eager to be the first, eager to give her something nobody else had. I find myself desperate to make her fantasies come true. Even something that scares me.

Maybe a little bit of it is to prove my adoration, but most of it is to please her, to give her something she hasn’t had yet, to know that she can use me for whatever she wants.

Tonight, one of those things happened.

I was…ok bear with me because this sounds like something out of a porno but then again, so much of what she and I have done sounds like it comes out of a porno. A very high budget, well written porno.

I was in her kitchen, naked, doing the dishes and wearing a collar and a brand new ball-stretcher (2.5 inches). After I finished I asked if I could eat and she offered me some leftovers she had delivered.   

“Oh, wait”, she said with a wicked smile, “give me your cock-head”.

I knew what was coming, it was one of those things I had winced about. One of those things she had always wanted to do and now she was going to do it.

She reached among the leftover burger and fries and grabbed a jalapeno pepper, tore out a small chunk of it and slowly slid it inside my urethra so just a small piece was visible.

What happened next was a blur. A very painful blur.

At first I was hard, hard because it felt a little warm but mostly hard because I could see how much it turned her on.

It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch and she had a very big smile on her face.

“Do you want it out?”

“Yes!” I stammered

“Then you’ll have to cum it out”.

I had serious doubts if I would be able to or not but the next thing I knew, I was on my knees, jerking this burning piece of flesh between my legs

I was close, I could have came right then but at that moment her best friend came out of the bathroom, she had been dying her hair and came out to see what all the commotion was about.

“God I love coming over to your house!” she exclaimed as she saw me kneeling and jerking off in front of her smiling friend.

“Should I let him come?” my owner asked her best friend


“Fuck”, I thought. I was so close, I wanted so badly to come, more from the desire to expel that evil evil pepper, than to experience an orgasm.

I stopped and the pain began to increase even more. The burning became unbearable and I started to shake and whimper.

“My poor baby, do you want me to make it stop?” she asked.

“Yes…” deep breath, wince, whimper “please” and she ran off to grab some yogurt from the kitchen, I think she asked me where it was in the fridge but I was in no condition to answer.

Moments later she was rubbing yogurt into my urethra and I could feel it starting to cool but not enough. Her best friend returned with a bowl of milk and I was told to “dip your dick in the milk”.

I did.

I felt like Yosemite Sam dropping his ass into a barrel of water after Bugs had just lit him on fire.


It wasn’t over though.

She made me hold that position for ten minutes. My muscles aching as though I was in some convoluted yoga position. As I breathed heavily and moaned, she would kiss me and stroke my hair.

Oh and she took photos.


That was about an hour ago. She asked me to write about it and so here I am, naked, still a bit numb, laying on the floor next to her couch as she pets my back and occasionally steps on my balls and smiles at me.

Sometimes, when you get what you wish for, it’s better than you imagined.

Boyfriend Comes Out, Girlfriend Needs Your Help

I’ve always had great emails from readers. I normally try to tackle these myself but this one might be a bit out of my experience level. I asked if it was cool for me to publish her email (removing all identifying information of course) in hopes that some of you may have a few ideas for her.

Feel free to leave any advice you have for her in the comments. If you’d rather keep your advice private you can email me and I’ll forward it on to her. I’ll include the little bit of advice I gave her after email:

Hey you,

I came aware of your blog about a week ago. I was conducting a web search via google to find out what submissive men really want. I can’t remember the exact search title, and I am sorry about that because it could have given me a point of reference. One of your friends who you had talked to about being a submissive had written a blog, herself, about why that’s not entirely attractive to her.

My boyfriend of four years has recently expressed to me that he wants to be submissive when he is with me. I have taken it to the next level and asked him if it turns him on to do housework in his underwear with his sexual parts out for me to look at as he does these things. He says that this excites him, and knowing that, after three years of having semi-regular sex, it was like some kind of huge revelation for me.

Every weird little thing from before became clear, and the whole relationship made sense to me once he felt the courage to express his submissive side to me.

I’m writing to you in order to ask not questions about what it means for you to be submissive to a female, but questions about what you would like. This man I am dating is not very verbose or articulate. He’s sweet, but he’s horrendously shy. I knew him for ten years before we started dating, and even then, he was so incredibly quiet. I want to know what kinds of games and things might be interesting to engage him in.