I was given a paradox recently.
How do you please a woman who is most pleased by you not trying to please her?
How does one play hard to get in order to attract a woman who would rather have a guy she needs to push into submission as opposed to a guy who’s dying to get on his knees from the start?
I find that there’s no middle of the road for me. When I’m confident, many just assume I’m dominant and when I’m eager to please I’m too submissive.
Surely there must be a middle spot somewhere. (and don’t call me Shirley).
I’ve been meeting some cool new people lately. People in and out of the lifestyle. Ok…Women in and out of the lifestyle. I seem to always wonder if it’s a date or if I’m just hanging out as a friend. I always go into it assuming friends and not displaying any kind of interest. It’s so much better that way. No hard feelings, not needing to worry about getting shot down or being too eager. After all, if she’s interested, hopefully she’ll indicate in some way right?
I’ve never been good at reading signals from women. I have no clue when they’re attracted to me unless they pretty much hold up a sign.
It is very easy to misread playful flirting for real sexual interest however. Especially in the kink scene.
A woman can grab a guys package in leu of a handshake or a hug to say hello and it probably only means “hello” (It’s happened on a number of occasions). Because of this I’ve learned to tune out just about every form of flirting. I think the only way I’ll get the hint from here on is if a woman grabs me and says “I really want to fuck you. I’m dead serious. No… really. I’m not kidding here. See? This is me giving you my number. Here is the address of where my bed is. This is not a dream, this is actually happening.”.
I’ve found myself giving advice to a number of women lately. Specifically about dating submissive men. I always try to give the best advice I can, though I’m not exactly an expert on the subject. My most trying conversation was when a poly friend was complaining about not being able to find a third partner.
I’ll type that part again:
She was complaining about not being able to find a third partner.
Isn’t that like complaining to a homeless guy about not being able to find a good vacation home?