oral fixation

Random Stuff For The New Year

Just a few random thoughts to throw your way.

-I’ve added a mini-banner to ClubFEM NYC on the left-hand side. I once wrote about my first experience going to one of their parties here. They have probably the biggest munch in NYC and their parties are memorable to say the least. I’m planning on going to more munches and more parties again this year (I need to get over the shyness of showing my bare ass in public) and hope to see you there.

-I’m running a bit low on Found Femdom images in the media. If you come upon any, feel free to email them to me. My address can be found on the right hand side in my Facebook profile link.

-My back is getting a bit better every day. Thanks to everyone who’s emailed advice and concern. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy to know you care. Or maybe that’s just the Vicodin.

-You may notice that I’ve been sounding considerably less desperate lately. That’s due to my being less desperate. While I’ve been having a number of new experiences lately it’s hard for me to post about them for some reason. I have a few unfinished drafts yet they remain that way until I can finish processing them. I will say that I’ve got a rope burn on my wrist that’s been there for a few weeks now, my mouth and other parts have been put to good use a few times, not to mention having had a tender bottom on more than one occasion.

-My tax return will be here in less than a month. It won’t be much but I keep having an internal fight over what I should do with the cash.

Pay off some debt? Or maybe use the money to get almost half-way to saving up for….


…a Macbook Pro.

Fuck it’s so tempting.

What do do what to do??

This is where being in a Female led relationship would come in handy. She could simply tell me the smart thing to do would be to pay off deb but nooooooo I need to be single right now and deal with temptation. I don’t do well with temptation.

A friend suggested I put up a donate button on the blog but I don’t feel comfortable doing that. Plus, if i did, every post would be about how I need people to donate so I can get my Mac fetish fix. This blog would become the kinky version of an NPR pledge drive.

Random Facts About Me

I’ve been tagged!

The Snarling Misanthrope tagged me. I’ll warn you I’m much better at writing without a goal in mind. Now that I’ve got that out of the way, seven little known facts about myself.

– I lost my virginity to two women. Yes, they were aggressive, yes it was awesome but it was my first time and it didn’t last long. In fact, I think I lasted less time than it’s taken me to write this blog. Now that I can actually have experience and actually have some skills It’s hard as hell to find one. Threesomes are wasted on the young. If only I had a time machine so I could have a do-over.

-The only other language I know is American Sign Language. It’s such a great language. The more I learn the more in awe I am. It helps when you’re best friend is your teacher.

-The first time a woman wanted to fuck me with a strapon I declined. I declined the second, the third, fourth and fifth time as well. The sixth time I agreed. Again I wish I had a time machine and get that first time back as a do-me-over.

-I’ve memorize pi to the 8th decimal. (Yeah, the ladies think that’s really sexy)

-When I want to take my mind off of stuff I’ll play a geeky MMORPG (and no, not World of Warcraft.)

-My lifelong dream is to create a drink that tastes exactly like pussy.

-I was once shot in Milwaukee before giving a speech by saloonkeeper John Schrank. I ended up giving the speech anyway while the bullet was still in my body. I declared that it “takes more than one bullet to kill a Bull Moose”.

Oh wait, sorry, that last one wasn’t me. I sometimes confuse myself for Teddy Roosevelt.

I’ll let you make up a random fact about me since I can’t seem to think of another one on my own.

My Cunnilingus Crusade

I have a three day weekend to somehow do it.

First I wanted a hardcore BDSM scene combined with hours of sex.

Realized sex would be much easier to find.

Settling for just going downtown for a few minutes.

Wish me luck!

Losing My Submission

This past week I’ve felt very disconnected from my submission.

I feel like I don’t have a compass right now.

It’s not that I don’t feel like I want to submit, or want to be submissive. It’s just….I don’t know.

It’s like I’m missing a body part or something.

It could be that I’m feeling more jaded than normal, or that I’ve hit a wall of some sort.

The feeling I normally have is difficult to describe. It’s not like I’m walking around being submissive all day. It’s more like..hmmm It’s like my IPhone. I’m not always using it but it’s nice to know it’s there. It’s comforting that I have it with me. A geeky comparison I know, but that’s the best way to describe it at this point.

A woman hit on me this week while standing in line for coffee. Very attractive and someone I’d consider “my type”. It was obvious that she was interested in more than just sex, but the flirting did seem sexual. I avoided it and didn’t flirt back. I could tell she was either submissive or vanilla (don’t ask, I just know). I just didn’t feel like having to go through the “well..there is one thing you should know about me first….”. I’ve been down that road before and it never works out in a positive way.

There is a small part of me that feels like a tiny weight has been lifted. I don’t feel as stressed but I also don’t feel driven either.

I miss it right now. I wonder if being on my knees for someone or being tied up and helpless….would help.

Surprisingly my sex drive hasn’t gone down with it. It’s skirt weather here in New York and I find myself constantly trying not to stare and drool at women with impossibly great legs.

Why can’t I be a breast-man instead of a leg-guy? Breasts are covered up, legs are everywhere. The second I see a great pair of legs I get really excited, then I feel myself whimper the next. I’l avert my eyes and try not to think of anything sexual. Putting gum in my mouth to curb the oral fixation. With the warmer weather I don’t have the benefit of a long coat to cover up any evidence of me being turned on. There have been times when I’ve had to run into a store and buy something just so I’ll have a bag or a newspaper to hold in front of me.

I’m not panicked about not having my submission right now. I’m sure it will come back again someday. Maybe tomorrow or next month. It’s just an strange feeling not to have it now.

Oral Addiction

Of all the things in the world, giving oral is by far the thing I adore the most.

Breathing is a close second only because it allows me to have future opportunities to do so.

I was going to write a post about service and the difference between serving someone who deserves it as opposed to someone who’s just lazy…but I can’t it out of my mind.

I once had a situation with a woman who just wanted to use me for my oral skills. It didn’t start that way. We had met in a bar and she took me home with her assuring me there would be no sex, just a little fooling around. After I gave her oral she said she wanted to keep ours an “orally based” relationship. I was more than happy to oblige. I was in my early 20’s and she was about ten years my senior. She would call me up and invite me over for a couple of hours. She never went down on me, if she was in the mood she would ask me to jerk off for her between her orgasms.

I miss having an orally based relationship. I imagine a woman sending me a text with just a time and a place to meet her. Or me sending her a text with a simple word, “Please”. I arrive at her house to dive my face between her legs and after she’s fully satisfied I’m either enjoying a drink with her or she kicks me out the door.

Hmmm now I’m thinking of what it would be like in a relationship. What better way to greet someone home from work than to be worshiping her body seconds after she gets home from a long day at work.

Ok my mind is running away from me. It’s been far too long. Damn me and my needing to be attracted to someone first.

There are few things in this world that I have a big head about. One of them is oral.

Not everyone thinks I’m great at it. Far too many women are self-conscious about a guy pleasing them in that way and there have been a few that think I’m too obsessed with it . Ok…vanilla women at least.

I love the fact that it takes time to really learn how to get a woman off this way. Some are easier than others and some are like a safe that I need to try and crack the code for. Everyone is different. I love the fact that some have said I was their first oral orgasm (though they could have been lying for my benefit).

Ok my eyes are glazing over.

I had one woman tell me I need to teach classes on the subject.

Yes, it’s one thing that can make me beam with pride. I’m a total oral slave…and a very good one too.

Maybe someday I’ll write about my oral “finishing move”.

I was debating on writing a graphic depiction of what I find works best. Not sure if I want this to be a totally graphic blog or not.


See, if I were to tell you what I find to be best oral technique, it may help a lot of submissive men out there (or at least the two that read this blog). At the same time, it’s something I can offer that few others can.

Plus it would be ungentlemanly wouldn’t it?

Maybe for a future post.

Happy Holidays dear reader. Hopefully I’ll find someone to accept my gift…even if it’s just for one night.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go buy a pack of gum, some lollypops and anything else that will keep my mouth busy.