Events

Big News And Even Bigger News!

· December 19, 2008 · Events · , · 4 Comments

There’s big news and even bigger news.

Over Eileen and Maymay’s blogs, I learned that they had a great idea for a new event here in NYC:

PLEASE COPY AND CROSSPOST THIS MESSAGE FREELY.

If you have already heard about KinkForAll through the grapevine, then please consider this email a reminder. If you haven’t, then please take a minute to scan this message. You’re receiving this message because someone trusts you to read it with an open mind. Smile! 🙂

Vitals
======

What: A no-limits sex-positive gender and sexuality unconference.
Why: To inspire a creative, interactive and open environment where everyone feels comfortable talking, learning, and being inspired by all kinds of sexuality.
When: March, 2009 (exact date yet to be determined)
Where: NYC (We’re still looking for a venue! Can you help? See ‘Get Involved,’ below!)
Who: Everyone
How much: Free (as in beer as well as freedom)

Details
=======

KinkForAll is an ad-hoc gathering born from the desire for people of the kink, queer, sex-positive and related communities to share and learn in an open environment. It is an intense event with discussions, presentations, and interaction from all participants. (It is inspired by the BarCamp community.)

ANYONE WITH SOMETHING TO CONTRIBUTE OR WITH THE DESIRE TO LEARN IS WELCOME AND INVITED TO JOIN. When you attend, be prepared to share with others. When you leave, be prepared to share it with the world.

A KinkForAll is a special kind of gathering because there are no spectators, only participants. Attendees must give a talk or a presentation, help with one, or otherwise volunteer/contribute in some way to support the event. This is called sharing and we like it. All presentations are scheduled the day they happen—there are no pre-scheduled presentations or keynote addresses. The people present at the event will select the presentations they want to see.

Anyone can present, on any topic related to sexuality. You do not necessarily have to teach a new skill or idea. You might share an experience, review a product, or read a poem. The goal is to start a discussion, make connections, and exchange knowledge. Presentations promoting specific commercial products or companies are discouraged.

Learn more about what to expect at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/WhatToExpect

Learn more about the event guidelines at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/TheRulesOfKinkForAll

Get Involved
============

We need your help in spreading the word. Please help by participating. Here’s how:

1. Get excited by reading the ideas on http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/KinkForAllNewYorkCity
2. Add your name or handle to the list of participants
3. Join the mailing list and introduce yourself by emailing [email protected]

If you have access to a venue, or know someone who has access to a venue, please email the [email protected] mailing list with that information.

Still have questions? Read the Frequently Asked Questions at
http://kinkforall.pbwiki.com/FrequentlyAskedQuestions

or email [email protected] for more details.

KinkForAll Online
=================

Participate online before the event at your favorite social networking web site.

Homepage: http://KinkForAll.org
Google: http://groups.google.com/group/kinkforall
Twitter: http://twitter.com/KinkForAll
Identica: http://identi.ca/kinkforall
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/KinkForAll/40066342762

All primary organizational efforts are being coordinated via the mailing list. Join for free and help turn ideas into realities!

http://groups.google.com/group/kinkforall

That’s the big news. What’s the bigger news? It immediately struck me that this would mean they would both be coming back to NYC.

See, Eileen had mentioned wanting to beat/torture me before leaving the country about a year ago but left town before it could happen.

I sent her a quick message asking if this meant she’d be coming back to NYC.

The answer was yes. The next thing she mentioned was that she wanted to play with me when she came to town.

Stop the press!

Dark Odyssey

· December 9, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , · 8 Comments

I looked into going to Dark Odyssey on Valentines. I spoke to a few people about it, some said I really needed to go, others said it’s fun but not anything entirely different from what I’ve been to. It’s less BDSM focused than TESFest, Floating World, MAST and other events. Again I have no clue if Dark Odyssey would be my kinda thing or not. I did have an IM conversation with someone who has gone in the past:

Her: What do you want to experience at D.O.?

Me: I want to play with a woman I’m attracted to.

Her: Did you get any at Tes Fest?

Me: Define “get any”.

Her: Did you have any from of sex?

Me: No

Her: What were you going to say?

Me: Calico grabbed my butt for about a half a second and another woman helped me pick out a cock ring.

Her: Have you ever used the cock ring?

Me: No

Her: Money well spent. What about Floating World?

Me: No

Her: MAST?

Me: No

Her: What was your feeling coming away from all of these events?

Me: I think I said “I could have stayed at home and not had sex, why spend money to go somewhere and not have sex?”. It was nice to see friends though.

Her: You can see friends any time you want. I think you probably shouldn’t go to anything like this again unless you’re going with a woman who is going specifically to fuck you. I can see why you’d feel down after going to a weekend play party where everyone is having sex but you.

Me: Well, I wasn’t the only one not having sex.

Her: These places, they keep selling sex, you keep buying but you never get any. Are you stupid? Stop giving them their money! You would love D.O. if you had someone to fuck you but you don’t. Focus on looking for someone who wants to go with you, then you’ll have fun. Do you have any interest in the classes?

Me: Why would I want to go to a class and watch something that no one at the class will want to do to me? If I wanted to hear someone talk about something I’ll never experience, I’d go to church.

Her: Zing! You’re angry. I like you when you’re angry.

Me: Not angry, just feisty.

Her: I like you when you’re feisty then.

Me: I’m going to copy and paste this into my blog.

Her: You’re a big nerd for having a blog.

I should say that there have been many classes that I have enjoyed, but I was riled up at the moment.

How A Single Guy Can Find A Swingers Club

· November 24, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , , , · 14 Comments

I still have yet to find a swingers party. I have had two invitations in the past but they’ve either conflicted with something else going on or I haven’t had a form of transportation to get there (thank you reader in Miami for the invite).

After reading Calico’s adventures and listening to Mia’s podcast on the subject, I’ve decided to start looking again….casually.

The biggest hurdle of course is the fact that I’m a single man. Most clubs don’t let my kind in. Some will let you in if you pay through the nose.

So how does a single guy get into sex parties and swingers clubs? I posed the question on Twitter and had a few interesting replies and emails:

-Um, grab a girl and go is my only advice.
-I would do a search and post to the site with the greatest activity in your area. Participate in forums.
-The only advice I have is stay away from Le Trapeze.
-Women don’t go to swingers clubs to fuck single men, they go to fuck married men.
-1). find a couple who will vouch for you as a third and enter with you or 2) find parties where single guys can come -but $$$
-It’s easy. Be interesting, unique and engaging. Make friends without asking for anything.

They’re all good ideas. The next time I’m out with a female friend I’ll be sure to talk to people in the most interesting, unique and engaging way and then say, “I’m not asking for anything but if you happen to host a sex party…well…just remember I’m very interesting, unique and engaging”.

Those who emailed their suggestions went into more detail:

-My wife and I have been going to clubs and parties for years. People in the community will never admit to it but we don’t want you to come to our parties. There are more than enough men to go around. Why do you think women get in for free?

-To get into swingers parties…volunteer. A lot of parties I went to had “members” hosting the food, serving as bartenders, etc. And, there was always need for a clean up crew after the event. So, if you can volunteer to help maybe they’ll bend the rules a bit for you!

-You should find a host that would like a slave boy serving people drinks, food and cleaning up after everyone. I’m sure a few of the guests would enjoy other services that you could provide.

That last one actually appeals to me. I enjoy service, plus I might still have that leather bow-tie collar around here somewhere. I’ve created a profile on one such lifestyle website (have yet to pay for a membership) so we’ll see how it goes.

Two Halloween Parties

· November 2, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , , , · 7 Comments

All week I looked and looked for something that goes with this: IMG_1404.jpg Someone suggested PVC pants but I’ve never worn PVC before. … It’s one of those places where you know you’ll be around the kind of people you’d bring with you if you were going to colonize mars.

Why Pay More?

· October 28, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , · 18 Comments

I’ve subscribed to the google calendar of Nycaltevents. There’s TONS of event listings on there and when you combine it with the events list I subscribe to from Conversio Virium, my calendar is filled with kink, poly and swinger events.

I was browsing through and noticed this:

paddles.jpg

I knew that events at Paddles always ran more for men than women, but I’ve never really understood why.

$5 for women and $25 for men? Guys pay five times more?

Obviously this isn’t the only event that does this. I don’t blame them for doing it. I just don’t understand why. There are plenty of events where women get in free but men need to take out a mortgage, sell some plasma and put your autographed photo of Ted Knight up on ebay.

200810281941.jpg

I’ll miss you Ted.

So why do men have to pay more?

The main argument seems to be that women aren’t willing to pay more but men will. It’s not worth it for women to shell out extra cash.

Why not? There’s kinky stuff going on, don’t women want to be part of it as much as men? Is the desire less? They’re desire to go to an event ends at paying more than five bucks but men have five times the desire so they’ll pay 25?

The other argument is that men won’t show up if women don’t show up. Doesn’t the same logic say that if men don’t show up, then women won’t show up? Besides, when I first moved here I went to Paddles a number of times where it was just me and a bunch of guys standing around despite the discount price for women.

On the other hand I’ll be going to Smack on Friday where everyone pays the same price and there’s usually a 50/50 ratio of men to women. It’s more fetish than BDSM, maybe that’s why more women show up. There’s less sexual stuff going on.

Perhaps it goes back to the age old question: If women are just as into this stuff as men, where are these women? Why are men paying a hundred bucks to get into a swingers event and women can walk in for free? Are the men like myself who want to go to events like these so horrible and disgusting that the only way a woman will go is if she has nothing better to do?

I posed this question via twitter and a few people responded.

“Also, men are more willing to pay for sexual stimulation. More female prostitutes than male. Is it fair? No. But reality.”

“Instead of viewing it as a higher charge, look at it as a discount for women (which is what it is.) Doesn’t help you, tho.”

“Specifically to annoy you. No other reason.”

Maymay gave me some of his wisdom via twitter. “The reason kink/fetish events are cheaper for women is blatantly obvious: sexism. Women are products, men are the consumers.”

Oh how I wish this wasn’t true. If only I were being the one consumed and used like a product.

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