Black Rose

Dark Odyssey

I looked into going to Dark Odyssey on Valentines. I spoke to a few people about it, some said I really needed to go, others said it’s fun but not anything entirely different from what I’ve been to. It’s less BDSM focused than TESFest, Floating World, MAST and other events. Again I have no clue if Dark Odyssey would be my kinda thing or not. I did have an IM conversation with someone who has gone in the past:

Her: What do you want to experience at D.O.?

Me: I want to play with a woman I’m attracted to.

Her: Did you get any at Tes Fest?

Me: Define “get any”.

Her: Did you have any from of sex?

Me: No

Her: What were you going to say?

Me: Calico grabbed my butt for about a half a second and another woman helped me pick out a cock ring.

Her: Have you ever used the cock ring?

Me: No

Her: Money well spent. What about Floating World?

Me: No

Her: MAST?

Me: No

Her: What was your feeling coming away from all of these events?

Me: I think I said “I could have stayed at home and not had sex, why spend money to go somewhere and not have sex?”. It was nice to see friends though.

Her: You can see friends any time you want. I think you probably shouldn’t go to anything like this again unless you’re going with a woman who is going specifically to fuck you. I can see why you’d feel down after going to a weekend play party where everyone is having sex but you.

Me: Well, I wasn’t the only one not having sex.

Her: These places, they keep selling sex, you keep buying but you never get any. Are you stupid? Stop giving them their money! You would love D.O. if you had someone to fuck you but you don’t. Focus on looking for someone who wants to go with you, then you’ll have fun. Do you have any interest in the classes?

Me: Why would I want to go to a class and watch something that no one at the class will want to do to me? If I wanted to hear someone talk about something I’ll never experience, I’d go to church.

Her: Zing! You’re angry. I like you when you’re angry.

Me: Not angry, just feisty.

Her: I like you when you’re feisty then.

Me: I’m going to copy and paste this into my blog.

Her: You’re a big nerd for having a blog.

I should say that there have been many classes that I have enjoyed, but I was riled up at the moment.

Domme-dar, Slave-dar and Black Rose

A friend and I attended Black Rose in DC this weekend.

I’ve been to other events similar to BR but this is by far the best I’ve been to yet. Of course it helps that I attended with one of my best friends.

The classes were well organized, the hotel was great but a bit expensive (Note to self: stay at the hotel across the street next year and save some coin) and the people were amazing.

I did enjoy a bit of complex rope bondage thanks to the friend I went with. There was an attendee area to their website and Viviane had suggested I put something down on my profile to indicate I was dying to be beaten until I collapse.

I did post it.

I didn’t get one.

Someone owes me a good beating.

Our biggest disappointment was that we were only there for just over one day. To get the full benefit I think one needs to be able to stay for the entire event.

We met a few friends for dinner and the subject came up of Domme-dar, the ability to detect someone who is dominant.

A dominant at the table said she has slave-dar, service-dar and a few others as well.

For me it’s very obvious when I detect it. Of course there are plenty that I don’t detect but when it’s there…it’s REALLY there.

It could be the way she walks, carries herself, talks, looks at me or just her overall vibe.

I usually get weak in the knees (possibly due to a desire to be on them), find myself either at a loss for words or having way too many of them, heavy breathing, extreme fidgeting, occasionally whimpering and I’ve been told I get a look in my eyes. Similar to puppy dog eyes but more…wanting.

When I’m around a woman that pops up on my Domme-dar I don’t necessarily have sexual thoughts, it’s more of a feeling of helplessness. Helpless because I desperately want to do something for her to please her.

Perhaps it’s that desperation that turns them off.

I have no problems meeting or sleeping with vanilla women because for the most part, I have no interest in them. I’m my normal confident funny self and only see them as possible friends. I can’t imagine anything more than short-term sexual buddies (if that) because I know what I want long-term. It’s funny how that works.

Maybe if I knew what makes me pop up on the slave-dar, I could prevent those qualities from coming through.

Or maybe it’s the tight leather pants that clues them in.

Black Rose!!!

I’m very excited and a cautiously optimistic about this weekend.

A friend and I will be heading to DC to attend Black Rose. A big-ass BDSM hoop-de-doo.

Tons of classes, lectures and a massive dungeon in one hotel.

I’m cautiously optimistic because I’ve been to similar events and have found the experience to be…ok.

I’ve decided not to go with any expectations of meeting anyone for anything other than friendship.

Here’s my problem. I can’t play with just anyone.

Yeah, I wish I was a total man-whore who could be with anyone who called themselves a dominant, but for me there has to be something there even for casual play. Usually at these events I’ll get an offer from at least one person to play, with whom I’m not interested in at all. I thank them for the opportunity, say that I’m flattered but that I’ll have to pass.

I always feel bad doing that. I know it takes a lot of guts to tell someone you’d like to play with them only to get rejected. After all, I don’t have the guts to do it that’s why I never ask if I can play.

I do have a number of hopes though:

-I hope I meet some new and interesting people, coming away from the event feeling like I made some friends out of the trip.

-I hope to learn a thing or two at one of the events.

-I hope I don’t get a speeding ticket on the way there due to being extremely eager.

Oh yeah…

-I hope I meet a sadist who can at least come close to pushing me.

A boy can dream can’t he?

Now I need to decide between the black t-shirt with leather pants, or the latex t-shirt with black jeans.

Any help?