Domme-dar, Slave-dar and Black Rose

A friend and I attended Black Rose in DC this weekend.

I’ve been to other events similar to BR but this is by far the best I’ve been to yet. Of course it helps that I attended with one of my best friends.

The classes were well organized, the hotel was great but a bit expensive (Note to self: stay at the hotel across the street next year and save some coin) and the people were amazing.

I did enjoy a bit of complex rope bondage thanks to the friend I went with. There was an attendee area to their website and Viviane had suggested I put something down on my profile to indicate I was dying to be beaten until I collapse.

I did post it.

I didn’t get one.

Someone owes me a good beating.

Our biggest disappointment was that we were only there for just over one day. To get the full benefit I think one needs to be able to stay for the entire event.

We met a few friends for dinner and the subject came up of Domme-dar, the ability to detect someone who is dominant.

A dominant at the table said she has slave-dar, service-dar and a few others as well.

For me it’s very obvious when I detect it. Of course there are plenty that I don’t detect but when it’s there…it’s REALLY there.

It could be the way she walks, carries herself, talks, looks at me or just her overall vibe.

I usually get weak in the knees (possibly due to a desire to be on them), find myself either at a loss for words or having way too many of them, heavy breathing, extreme fidgeting, occasionally whimpering and I’ve been told I get a look in my eyes. Similar to puppy dog eyes but more…wanting.

When I’m around a woman that pops up on my Domme-dar I don’t necessarily have sexual thoughts, it’s more of a feeling of helplessness. Helpless because I desperately want to do something for her to please her.

Perhaps it’s that desperation that turns them off.

I have no problems meeting or sleeping with vanilla women because for the most part, I have no interest in them. I’m my normal confident funny self and only see them as possible friends. I can’t imagine anything more than short-term sexual buddies (if that) because I know what I want long-term. It’s funny how that works.

Maybe if I knew what makes me pop up on the slave-dar, I could prevent those qualities from coming through.

Or maybe it’s the tight leather pants that clues them in.