Thoughts

Massage As Service

· December 5, 2008 · Thoughts · · 13 Comments

Over the past month or so I’ve been giving a lot of massages.   Even as I type this my hands still smell like lavender massage oil.

In every circumstance it’s been a massage where nothing was expected in return. In most of those situations, nothing was returned.

I kinda like it that way.   

As with all forms of service, I don’t like the idea that I need to be rewarded for pleasing someone. Pleasing in itself is it’s own reward. It’s something I can usually do pretty well given the proper feedback from the person on the other end.

Most massages are strictly platonic. Sure there’s a hint of sexual tension what with the sexy noises (I swear I’m not the one doing it) and the skin on skin touching, but it’s still a way for me to please without being directly sexual.

Take tonight for example. I spent over an hour giving a long, deep tissue massage. While I did get turned on a few times, I was usually too focused on doing a good job to have my mind in the gutter. When it was time to go, we talked for a little while and I was on my way. I was smiling all the way home and yet didn’t have the reaction I was expecting. I was expecting to be turned on and frustrated but I was happier just knowing that she didn’t feel like she needed to repay me for a job well done.   

It’s a new experience for me, having a form of service that has more sexual overtones. It’s not like I’m naked while doing it but bringing physical pleasure to someone without it being directly sexual.

A few weeks ago I was visiting a friend who complained about a sore back. I very casually offered and later she accepted. She knows I’m submissive and knows that I find her attractive. I was glad that she felt comfortable enough with me and trusted me enough. I wasn’t a total angel. I did get turned on now and then but for the most part I was more emotionally turned on by the fact that she was trusting me and letting me serve her in that way. Plus the fact that I could do something to make her feel better put me in an amazing mood.

I don’t want to make it sound like I’m some expert by any means. There’s a lot I need to learn. I’m decent at giving deep, hard massages but my knowledge on how to work out a knot without digging in deep could use a lot of work.

One day I’d like to take a class. Add it to my list of things I can do to pamper a woman.   

Maybe one day my list of skills would be enough to turn myself into a one-man-spa.

-Massage
-Manicure
-Pedicure
-?????

I’ve gotta think of more so it sounds more appealing.

Maybe I’m changing. There was a day when I couldn’t give a massage to a woman without thinking of having my face buried between her legs 100% of the time.

Now it’s only 75%.

Boyfriend Comes Out, Girlfriend Needs Your Help

· December 1, 2008 · Thoughts · , , · 15 Comments

I’ve always had great emails from readers. I normally try to tackle these myself but this one might be a bit out of my experience level. I asked if it was cool for me to publish her email (removing all identifying information of course) in hopes that some of you may have a few ideas for her.

Feel free to leave any advice you have for her in the comments. If you’d rather keep your advice private you can email me and I’ll forward it on to her. I’ll include the little bit of advice I gave her after email:

Hey you,

I came aware of your blog about a week ago. I was conducting a web search via google to find out what submissive men really want. I can’t remember the exact search title, and I am sorry about that because it could have given me a point of reference. One of your friends who you had talked to about being a submissive had written a blog, herself, about why that’s not entirely attractive to her.

My boyfriend of four years has recently expressed to me that he wants to be submissive when he is with me. I have taken it to the next level and asked him if it turns him on to do housework in his underwear with his sexual parts out for me to look at as he does these things. He says that this excites him, and knowing that, after three years of having semi-regular sex, it was like some kind of huge revelation for me.

Every weird little thing from before became clear, and the whole relationship made sense to me once he felt the courage to express his submissive side to me.

I’m writing to you in order to ask not questions about what it means for you to be submissive to a female, but questions about what you would like. This man I am dating is not very verbose or articulate. He’s sweet, but he’s horrendously shy. I knew him for ten years before we started dating, and even then, he was so incredibly quiet. I want to know what kinds of games and things might be interesting to engage him in.

Read More

No More….

· November 27, 2008 · Thoughts · · 7 Comments

…food.

Photo 128.jpg

Wanted to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving!

I’m gonna go slip into a food coma.

How A Single Guy Can Find A Swingers Club

· November 24, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , , , · 14 Comments

I still have yet to find a swingers party. I have had two invitations in the past but they’ve either conflicted with something else going on or I haven’t had a form of transportation to get there (thank you reader in Miami for the invite).

After reading Calico’s adventures and listening to Mia’s podcast on the subject, I’ve decided to start looking again….casually.

The biggest hurdle of course is the fact that I’m a single man. Most clubs don’t let my kind in. Some will let you in if you pay through the nose.

So how does a single guy get into sex parties and swingers clubs? I posed the question on Twitter and had a few interesting replies and emails:

-Um, grab a girl and go is my only advice.
-I would do a search and post to the site with the greatest activity in your area. Participate in forums.
-The only advice I have is stay away from Le Trapeze.
-Women don’t go to swingers clubs to fuck single men, they go to fuck married men.
-1). find a couple who will vouch for you as a third and enter with you or 2) find parties where single guys can come -but $$$
-It’s easy. Be interesting, unique and engaging. Make friends without asking for anything.

They’re all good ideas. The next time I’m out with a female friend I’ll be sure to talk to people in the most interesting, unique and engaging way and then say, “I’m not asking for anything but if you happen to host a sex party…well…just remember I’m very interesting, unique and engaging”.

Those who emailed their suggestions went into more detail:

-My wife and I have been going to clubs and parties for years. People in the community will never admit to it but we don’t want you to come to our parties. There are more than enough men to go around. Why do you think women get in for free?

-To get into swingers parties…volunteer. A lot of parties I went to had “members” hosting the food, serving as bartenders, etc. And, there was always need for a clean up crew after the event. So, if you can volunteer to help maybe they’ll bend the rules a bit for you!

-You should find a host that would like a slave boy serving people drinks, food and cleaning up after everyone. I’m sure a few of the guests would enjoy other services that you could provide.

That last one actually appeals to me. I enjoy service, plus I might still have that leather bow-tie collar around here somewhere. I’ve created a profile on one such lifestyle website (have yet to pay for a membership) so we’ll see how it goes.

Muffled Thank You

· November 18, 2008 · Thoughts · · 7 Comments

After lots of kissing she gave me the green light to go down on her.

Watching her back arch while we both moaned at the same time. Feeling her legs tighten around my head. Her heavy breathing mixed with words of praise. Prying my face from between her legs for a few minutes before I could go back for round two…then three then….I lost count.

I did my best not to go all subbie on her, not to thank her a thousand times but to let my mouth thank her without using words. If she knew how badly I wanted to feel used, controlled and taken by her, she may freak out.

Being submissive usually means my mind and my body are in conflict with one another. My body wants to ask if she’ll fuck me, if she’ll want to go down on me or if she’ll let me fuck her. My mind just wants to please her. I never ask for what my body wants, I figure if she wants it too she’ll do it. Besides, my body always wants to be in this position anyway.

I wish I had more than one mouth so I could suck on her toes, breasts, neck and earlobes while going down on her. Then again, I would look pretty silly with five mouths.

I ignore the urge to ask for a million dirty things and get lost in the rhythm of my mouth sucking her clit into my mouth while flicking it with my tongue. I look up and see that she’s lost too. I want to thank her but my mouth is busy doing other things and thanking her would stop the rhythm.

Hopefully she can feel how thankful I am.

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