orgasm control

Sade Threatens Me

Every now and then Sade will threaten to make me orgasm without permission. She’ll usually say this after a long play session involving teasing edging and general torment.

Last night was another one of those nights.

After what felt like hours of teasing, pulling twisting and fucking me she finally let me orgasm. I know there were a few times where she was really hoping I would without permission.

It’s so hard not to sometimes but in all the years we’ve been together I don’t think I ever came without permission. It takes a lot of deep breathing exercises, biting my lip (or like last night my bicep) so the pain overcomes the pleasure.

Afterwards she said “Someday I’ll make you come without permission so I can punish you for it”.

I can’t imagine what that will entail but it scares the crap out of me. She’s had me in tears with desire for release in the past. What would happen if she kept going for hours long past the tears? Would I go insane? Would my desire to orgasm overwhelm my desire to please her? (Catch 22 I know since I know she wants me to come without permission and that would please her but at the same time if she were to order me to come without permission that means she permitted it and therefore I’d actually be coming without permission…with permission?? )

Now I’m wondering what she could possibly do to push me over the edge. I’ve somehow managed to use breathing and other tricks to hold back.

She’s never mentioned what the punishment would be for it…crap I didn’t even think about that until I typed it just now.


After her last orgasm she had enough and rolled me on my back and kisses me.

She grabs me by the base and starts to slowly squeeze me, I know what this means but I don’t feel like I’m close to an orgasm yet. She doesn’t care and begins to count down.


She picks up the pace a bit and works both of her hands all the way up and back down.


Our eyes lock and she knows she can make this happen even though I’ve been holding off for so long up until now.


Now there’s a smile in her eyes and my pulse quickens and our breathing becomes matched.


She’s moving faster now and is sitting back, positioning herself so it looks like my cock is coming out of her body instead of mine.


She squeazes and the muscles in my chest and stomach begin to tighten along with her grip.


She reaches down and grips my balls and gently yet firmly pulls down.


Her other hand is wrapped around me like a fist and in just a few short moments I go from feeling like I could go forever to desperation that I may go too soon.


She pauses her countdown as I wait to hear the words I need…


It’s all over for me as her relentless pace continues through the wave and I convulse…I try to say thank you but it probably just comes across as a jumbled moan.

As I slowly drift back I can still feel her working me.

“Good boy”

Curious Things

I was asked to make a list of the things I’m most curious about. Thing I’ve had on my must-try-before-I-die list.

Chastity- Maymay wrote about his extended chastity here. Obviously my daydreams aren’t nearly as close as what the reality would probably be. I imagine being locked up and taken out whenever she (whoever she is) wants me. More of an anti-masturbation device than a no-orgasm device. Who knows, maybe she’ll want me locked up for longer durations, or maybe not locked up at all.

CBT- I have limited experience in this area but the hints of it that I’ve experienced have been eye opening. Probably because there are a million wonderfully evil things a woman can do in this area. As with all kinds of pain, it’s limited to those who really get off on giving pain. I hate the idea of feeling pain anywhere but I love the idea of taking the pain for someone who gets off on giving it. Everything from sounds, bondage, clamps, clothespins, you name it and I’m curious about it. The mental image of sounds is enough to make me whimper.

Anal play- I’ve experienced strap-on play a few times. A few times isn’t nearly enough. I’ve only experienced the wonders of the prostate once for maybe a minute. My head nearly exploded. There’s also something very intriguing about plugs and hooks. I have no idea what the appeal of anal play is for a dominant woman. Is it the idea of violating a man? I know what the appeal is on my end of things but the motivation for a woman escapes me. If I knew the motivation it might help me find someone to motivate into doing it.

Predicament Bondage- I was talking to someone the other night who mentioned how much she loved doing it to her boyfriend. I hadn’t thought much about it until I saw how much she loved it. Her face lit up with this genuine evil smile. It’s motivated me enough to read more about it and keep my eyes open for someone with an evil smile.

Electrical play- Nuff said. This is a big question mark for me. I’ve heard it can be either very painful or very pleasurable.

Hypnosis- I’ve heard it’s intense.

Owned- I know now that my previous goal (I wrote about it here) of having a weekend where I was totally owned and controlled by someone is totally unrealistic. Finding someone who wants to own me for a few hours might be more attainable.

Submissive Triggers

I’ve recently heard the phrase “submissive triggers”.

They were explained to me as things that put someone in a more submissive mindset.

For me, breathing puts me into a more submissive mindset.

Ok there are a few triggers I’ve learned recently.

-Being called “boy” for example. That’s a new one I’ve recently discovered.

-Pinching a nipple or a gentle grab of my ass.

-Sometimes saying the word “now” will do it.

-An evil smile.

-One woman only needs to look at me in a certain way and I get all nervous and jumpy. Of course she can send me a simple text message asking about my day and I’ll feel submissive….still…it works.

Maybe it has little to do with the action but more to do with who’s doing it.

This makes me think of conditioning. I’ve been reading more about training a submissive to react a certain way to certain stimuli.

Hypnosis is yet another curiosity I’ve added to my ever-growing list of things to try.

Orgasms on command? I have heard of this in women, but men? I’m very skeptical.

I’m not talking about someone ordering a submissive to cum after long periods of being turned on. I’m talking about going from 0 – 60 with one word. I’ve read about it done with submissive women, but submissive men?

I have yet to find any evidence.

Experiencing Chastity: My Hair-Brained Scheme

This post has had me thinking of another one of my curiosities.

I have always been curious about having a woman control my orgasms. It’s something I’m sure would intensify my feelings of submission and make me feel more owned. A chastity device would be a constant reminder of of my submission.

I don’t know how long I could last. I think initially I just like the idea of having myself saved for her pleasure only. She and I would still have sex but jerking off would be obviously out of the question.

It would require something more than a casual play partner though. Unless the person had me in it a day or two before a planned meeting, but that would make a cancelled date a horrible turn of events.

I’m incredibly curious about the subject and am dying to try it. I actually have an idea that might be “so crazy it just might work”.

Enter: The US Postal Service

Here’s my thought. Buy a chastity device and mail myself the key!

Brilliant right?

I could put it on Monday morning, mail myself the key and have it Tuesday or Wednesday. If I wanted to go longer I could mail it on a friday morning and not have it until after the weekend.

I know, I know. Three or for days isn’t that long compared to others who have experienced chastity. But we’re talking about me here. Technically I’d be topping myself and well…I’m not a good top so a few days is good enough.

A friend of mine did point out that I’d be screwed if the key were ever lost in the mail.

Funny to be screwed by a device that is meant to prevent any screwing at all.