Thoughts

Spoil Me

· October 6, 2008 · Thoughts · · 47 Comments

The two words that will turn me off most are “spoil me”.

Turn me off might be putting it lightly. Maybe angry or….ok angry is the word.

On the surface it sounds great until you realize what the words really mean. The problem is, sometimes their idea of being spoiled has nothing to do with my idea of being spoiled. The conversations usually go like this:

Her: I want you to spoil me.

Me: Great! How do you like your coffee? What kind of domestic service do you want? Do you enjoy massage? Want someone to wait on you hand and foot?

Her: I want to go shopping.

I did go shopping with someone once. When I first moved to New York I met someone from collarme who said she wanted to meet me for coffee and go shopping. We went to a few stores but she just couldn’t find what she was looking for. Finally she found a pair of shoes that were perfect for her and when it came time to pay she looked at me as though she was expecting me to do something. I had no clue how to react. I reached for my wallet but when I saw that the bill was a few hundred bucks I stopped dead in my tracks.

My converse all-stars usually run $35 bucks.

I told her I couldn’t pay for them even if i wanted to and she looked at me with this look I’ll never forget. She stormed out of the store and quickly followed her after apologizing to the person behind the counter. She was visibly upset and started ranting about how she had never been so embarrassed in her life and how she had just spent two hours with me and her time was worth more than just a cup of coffee.

I was speechless and felt as though the rug had just been pulled out from under me. She went from being interested in me as a possible play partner, to someone who couldn’t stand the sight of me.

“Don’t you think I’m a goddess?” she asked me with a hint of anger.

“Well, yes, of course, but you don’t need those shoes to be a goddess”. I was still in shock.

“I thought you were going to be different, I am very disappointed. Don’t contact me again until you’re ready to treat me to what I deserve”.

She walked off in a huff and I never heard from her again despite my emails to her apologizing for the misunderstanding.

If the same thing were to happen to me now I would have told her to go fuck some old investment banker who looked like Larry “Bud” Melman.

Sure the sex would suck but she’d at least have her shoes.

My Iphone Is Now A Sex Tool

· October 1, 2008 · Thoughts · · One Comment

I’ve been using a number of social networking apps for the Iphone that display other users in the area based on GPS data. It’s pretty cool. I have a couple of friends who are using them as well. It’s kinda neat in a big-brother kinda way.

I loaded up one app called Nrme and checked out who was in my area. Here’s what I saw:

photo1.jpg

They could have called this app “sausage fest”.

Granted, I didn’t start using the thing in order to meet women but it’s nice to know that it wouldn’t be out of the question.

I loaded another app and searched for area users and one of the closest people to my location was some guy who had a photo of his privates displayed on his profile.

I wouldn’t expect a woman would look for a guy using these new social networking tools. I just wish there wasn’t so many tools using social networking.

Suspending My Campaign…For a Domme

· September 26, 2008 · Thoughts · , , · 10 Comments

My dear readers,

Upon the sudden (or seemingly so) financial crisis, I’ve decided that the country needs my help and I simply cannot continue looking for casual sex while the wealthiest Americans aren’t making as much money as they were before. Granted, they’re still making more money in a month than most Americans will see in their lifetime, but it’s just not fast enough. I’ve heard horrible stories of rich white men who have had to sell their vacation homes or who have had to settle for dining out at Per Se only twice a week. It’s because of this crisis that I’ve decided to suspend my campaign for kinky sex.

Oh I know, you’re going to say that I looked at the poll numbers and found that a majority of dominant women have no interest in erecting me for their pleasure. This could not be further from the truth. This isn’t some gimmick where I’m hoping that women everywhere will see me putting country first and begin to swoon.

Others might say that I’m simply giving up because I’ve realized that I’m just not that attractive and therefore have no hope in finding someone. I couldn’t disagree more. The fundamentals of my sex appeal remain strong. Despite evidence to the contrary and despite what everyone says about me, the fundamentals of my sex appeal remain strong.

I know many of you read my blog and enjoy debating the various aspects of my failed attempts. While I enjoy a good debate, we must look to the greater good and put all debates on hold. Please understand that this doesn’t mean I’m not prepared for a debate, nor does it mean that I’m worried that another debate would decrease my chances of winning the affection of a woman who would elect me to worship her body.

I plan on suspending my campaign until I’m confident that the economy is stable and strong once again.

Or until I have the opportunity to have sex again.

Hey, I don’t love my country THAT much.

You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello

· September 23, 2008 · Events, Thoughts · , , , , · 14 Comments

I was given a paradox recently.

How do you please a woman who is most pleased by you not trying to please her?

How does one play hard to get in order to attract a woman who would rather have a guy she needs to push into submission as opposed to a guy who’s dying to get on his knees from the start?

I find that there’s no middle of the road for me. When I’m confident, many just assume I’m dominant and when I’m eager to please I’m too submissive.

Surely there must be a middle spot somewhere. (and don’t call me Shirley).

I’ve been meeting some cool new people lately. People in and out of the lifestyle. Ok…Women in and out of the lifestyle. I seem to always wonder if it’s a date or if I’m just hanging out as a friend. I always go into it assuming friends and not displaying any kind of interest. It’s so much better that way. No hard feelings, not needing to worry about getting shot down or being too eager. After all, if she’s interested, hopefully she’ll indicate in some way right?

I’ve never been good at reading signals from women. I have no clue when they’re attracted to me unless they pretty much hold up a sign.

It is very easy to misread playful flirting for real sexual interest however. Especially in the kink scene.

A woman can grab a guys package in leu of a handshake or a hug to say hello and it probably only means “hello” (It’s happened on a number of occasions). Because of this I’ve learned to tune out just about every form of flirting. I think the only way I’ll get the hint from here on is if a woman grabs me and says “I really want to fuck you. I’m dead serious. No… really. I’m not kidding here. See? This is me giving you my number. Here is the address of where my bed is. This is not a dream, this is actually happening.”.

I’ve found myself giving advice to a number of women lately. Specifically about dating submissive men. I always try to give the best advice I can, though I’m not exactly an expert on the subject. My most trying conversation was when a poly friend was complaining about not being able to find a third partner.

I’ll type that part again:

She was complaining about not being able to find a third partner.

Isn’t that like complaining to a homeless guy about not being able to find a good vacation home?

Lying To Myself

· September 12, 2008 · Thoughts · , · 19 Comments

I’ve been lying to myself. I’ve been giving myself excuses as to why I’m not having tons of wild casual sex or why I haven’t even dated anyone in the last 7 years.

The two most common lies I tell myself are:

-The ratio of dominant women to submissive men prevents me from meeting someone I’m attracted to. Women have their pick of the litter so of course it’s going to be an uphill battle.
-I’d have a better chance if I were wealthy..or at least a little less broke.

There’s evidence to support these as being true. Most of the dominant women I know in New York who are in relationships are with guys who probably make more in a year than I do in a decade. Can’t blame them of course. If someone has a choice between a great guy of modest income or a great guy who’s got cash, most would choose bachelor number two. Jut because someone’s wealthy doesn’t mean he’s not a good person. Plus this is New York. Wealthy guys are everywhere.

It’s an easy out for me to tell myself that it’s these outside factors keep me from getting fucked. The truth is, if I were really that great of a guy, my income wouldn’t matter now would it?

It’s not the fault of the women I’m attracted to that they’re not attracted to me. It’s my fault.

Hell I know I wouldn’t fuck me. Then again I’m straight.

A friend noted that I’ve been especially bitter lately. She asked where the guy she met when I first moved to New York had gone. She misses him. He misses her too.

The fact is I need to work on myself. I need to make myself more attractive to the women I’m attracted to. How do I do that? I have no clue but I’ve come up with a few ideas.

-Start wearing Old Spice. (It worked for my dad)
-Gain some weight by working out more than twice a week.
-Get a better job.
-Quit my bitching.

That’s all I’ve got so far.

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