Thoughts

Kink For All NYC

· February 5, 2009 · Events, Thoughts · · 2 Comments

There’s now a time and place for Kink For All.   

March 8th at the LBGT center in sunny NYC.

It’s free but you really really should sign up on the website.

I’m so very excited about this event. More than any event in the past. It’ll be filled with information, great people, interesting presenters and most importantly it’s free…oh I mean most importantly you’ll be surrounded by the bestest and kinkiestest people in the galaxy.

I’m still not sure what/if I should do a presentation on but no matter what I’ll be lending a hand and bringing some food (I promise not to cook it).

Maybe I’ll do a presentation on how not to fold a fitted sheet. I swear the last time I tried to fold one it felt like I was trying to diffuse a bomb.

Power Objects

· February 3, 2009 · Thoughts · , , · 9 Comments

I’ve heard the “oohs” and “aahs” when a dominant is drooling over a new toy or a kinky object that’s made it to their wish list. I’ve witnessed groups of women gather around as they show off their new toy while the others ask questions with big smiles on their faces and voice their jealousy. Their eyes glaze over and you know that whatever it is they’re thinking, it’s not nice.

The level that they geek out over a new toy is similar to the way I look and sound when I’m looking at a brand new Macbook Pro.   

Only when they do it, it’s sexy.

What’s running through the mind of a dominant when they’re holding a new toy or when they’re browsing a website for some new device? Are they thinking how the crop will make them feel or how it will make the lucky victim feel?

I’ve found that some activities put me into a deeper sub-space than others. Feeling something lock around my ankles and wrists or feeling rope circle around my skin doesn’t make me feel more submissive to the person but it does put me in a deeper headspace. A thwack from one crop may make me feel toyed with while another crop from the same person can make me feel like a piece of meat.

But I’m wondering if the reverse is true to the dominant.

Does locking someone up make a dominant feel more powerful? Does holding a leash connected to a collar bring a feeling of power and control as well?

Do some items do it more than others?

Not So Fast

· January 29, 2009 · Thoughts · 4 Comments

This is the part that I hate, the leaving part.

My body aches for multiple reasons, all of them good. I feel drained of sex and full from cuddling.

I can feel that dreaded moment come where I walk out that door and back into a world where things rarely make sense.

Things make sense in her universe. Where I’m told what to do and what I do makes her smile most of the time.

I’m packing things up and trying put myself in the mindset of the outside world. It’s always a bit of a shock be on my own when the door closes behind me. It’s the mental version of the bends. Changing environments too rapidly.

I finish packing. I feel her hand on my ass, gentle at first then she slides two fingers between my cheeks. I’m still tender back there and I gasp as the energy between us bursts down to my toes.

She takes her hand away and doesn’t say a word. I can feel her eyes looking over my body then into my eyes. A faint smile comes as she says the words I was hoping to hear.

“Get in the bedroom and take off your clothes.”

My universe will have to wait.

FYI

· January 25, 2009 · Thoughts · 6 Comments

I was really excited when I walked past this store today.   

It turns out it’s more of a hardware store than an S/M hardware store.

I asked the manager if there was some secret room in the back where I could find the good stuff but he just looked at me like I was a moron or something.

Maybe there’s a secret password I need to use to get in the back.

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Fuckless Fucking

· January 22, 2009 · Thoughts · , , , , , , · 5 Comments

Almost all of my experiences in BDSM have been non-sexual. That is to say, most of my experiences have been play that didn’t include penetrative sex.   

Up until a few years ago I never would have thought that any kind of play without intercourse would have been worthwhile. Back then I always felt it was something that was supposed to go hand in hand with sex. First the spanking, then the bondage, teasing and then the fucking. It was more of a kind of foreplay in my mind more than something that could be appreciated alone.

Then I moved to New York.

It was difficult to make the transition at first. The only people I’d play with would be those I also wanted to sleep with. That made me feel a little rejected at first. After all, I was playing with them because I was attracted to them, weren’t they attracted to me too? Wasn’t that the reason why they wanted to play with me?   

Over time I began to get used to the feeling of playing for the sake of playing. I could enjoy getting tied up or whipped and just enjoy it for what it was: Fun!

Sure I still have difficulty in reading some people at first. I’ll still sometimes have a barrage of questions running through my brain:

“Is she doing this because I’m fun to play with or because she’s attracted to me?”   

“Is she saying she want’s to do more than just tie me up?”

Most of the people I happen to have these mini-scenes with are those I’m already friends with. It’s much easier to let my mind go and enjoy the bondage, the flogging or whatever wonderful thing she’s putting me through. There’s something nice about just letting go and not needing to wonder about what comes next when I know that there is nothing next. I can just sink in and enjoy the experience.

It’s difficult do describe since there is a feeling of sexual tension and intimacy involved.  Especially when it’s with someone I know and like. There’s a closeness that comes from it. It’s unspoken but it’s there.

I like to think these experiences have helped me become a better submissive (Hmm Let me rephrase). I hope these experiences have helped me become a better submissive to someone I have a chance of having sex with. Most of the time I can just focus on the moment and not be caught up on wanting to rush to the sex.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m still thinking with my cock, but my cock is just more patient now.

Kinda.

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