Page 114 | axe | UnspeakableAxe

Posts By axe

My First Night In NYC and My First BDSM club

axe · January 4, 2008 · Thoughts · Events, pro-dommes, The Search · 7 Comments

I’ve said before that I move to New York with the hope of meeting a Domme.

My first night in town, before unpacking, before anything, I wanted to go to a BDSM club to meet my future Domme.

I’ll admit I was in total dreamland about the local scene.

“This will be great”, I thought “I’ll meet several Dommes tonight and hopefully have a date or two setup and maybe meet my future owner. it may be best if I don’t unpack my things because she may want me to just move in with her by the end of the month”.

I had no fetish clothing of course. Why would I need any? I had never been to a BDSM club before and had no idea what to expect. Though I did imagine what it might be like.

I had spent months online, emailing people, reading up on the local scene and trying to find the best places to go. My first night was a weeknight so I knew that I would be a fairly light crowd.

I had several options of where to go but I picked one that didn’t sound so intimidating.

Calling it an event is using the term fairly generously. It was more of a gathering than an event. It was at a seedy looking bar and the cover was 30 dollars or something like that.

Ok wait. Imagine this. Farmboy from the midwest, first night in NYC, not knowing how to navigate the subways or even how to hail a cab, going into a BDSM club to find what has brought him here in the first place.

I walked in and (stupidly) was expecting to find this:

What I saw was this:

Ok..not exactly that..but basically a bunch of guys sitting around.

Then I saw her…a very attractive woman sitting on a chair with one guy on each foot worshiping her toes. I asked around and learned that she was a pro and I could worship her feet for fourty bucks or something like that.

It was a bit of a rude awakening but at least I knew what I was in for.

Obviously I had entirely the wrong impression of what the scene would be like in New York.

It’s normally not as bad as my first night out, but I suppose it’s best that I had one of my worst experiences on my first night.

Who knows, maybe there’s an alternate universe where there are a hundred Dominant women for every sub male and I am a very happy boy.

Over Before It Starts?

axe · January 3, 2008 · Thoughts · cuddling, Dating, sadist · 5 Comments

I told you before that I met someone.

It didn’t end there.

After that initial encounter I didn’t think I’d hear from her again. I had opened up totally and almost cried in front of her when she asked about my frustrations of finding someone like her. For some crazy reason she was interested in getting to know me and very recently we have been spending more time together. I make her laugh and the passion between us is amazing.

But….

Yes there’s a but.

But she’s not sure if she can go down this path. She calls me the “rabbit hole” because she’s worried once she goes to BDSM she won’t want to go back again. A close friend suggested that I explain it as though it were a menu. It’s not that you can’t enjoy the things you enjoyed before, you’ll just have more things to choose from. More options.

She’s enjoyed being dominant with vanilla men but being dominant with them means something very different than being dominant with me. WIth a ‘nilla man the bar is much lower than it is with me. WIth me she has almost endless options.

She’s a sadist, I can tell, I can feel it. I know it and so does she, but it’s a part of her she’s never addressed because she’s never been with someone like me before, someone who needs her to not hold back. She’s said she doesn’t feel comfortable yet and may never feel comfortable with that part of herself. She knows she wants to and daydreams about it, but can’t bring herself to it. She’s not scared of me, she’s scared of herself.

A few nights ago we were walking around and she told me about some of the guys she’s been with. She’s been proposed to by many and said yes to none. As we were talking about it I could almost see how this would end. I put it out of my mind.

I’ve introduced her to many of my closest friends, I’ve never done that before. Last night she met one of my best friends, my dear ‘nilla friend who knows all about me. Seeing them talking and laughing made me adore her even more. I want to introduce her to my Domme friend, so she can see that you can be dominant, sadistic and still “normal”.

Thankfully she’s being honest. She’s told me that she may never be able to go down that rabbit hole. We both agree that we want to be something to one another, but that something will probably be friends.

I know I should just enjoy the time she and I have and not worry about it. Maybe I’ve been hurt so many times that I naturally expect it will end with me back at square one, looking for someone like her.

Feeling her body next to mine makes me wish I didn’t need what I need. I tried to tell her that it’s OK if she never goes down the rabbit hole, but she knows that I need it, she can read me like a book.

On the way home from work tonight I had my IPhone on shuffle and this song popped up:

And So It Goes

Damn you Billy Joel.

How do you explain to someone that it’s OK for them to let themselves go when they know they want to but just can’t seem to bring themselves to it?

How do you help someone who’s scared what she might become if she goes down the rabbit hole?

Found Femdom: Equinox Fitness

axe · January 2, 2008 · Found Femdom · Found Femdom · 8 Comments

Thanks to Ladybug who saw this in the NY Post this morning. Apparently it’s an advertisement for Equinox Fitness. The theme is “Happily Ever After”. I have no clue what this has to do with working out, other than maybe if I grabbed a membership at Equinox women would then want to use me as a table.

Hmmm how much is membership?

Thanks for scanning this in Ladybug. If I had a prize to give away or some swag of some sort, you’d have a brand new UnspeakableAxe T-shirt or totebag.

Experiencing Chastity: My Hair-Brained Scheme

axe · January 2, 2008 · Thoughts · chasity, orgasm control, Teasing · 16 Comments

This post has had me thinking of another one of my curiosities.

I have always been curious about having a woman control my orgasms. It’s something I’m sure would intensify my feelings of submission and make me feel more owned. A chastity device would be a constant reminder of of my submission.

I don’t know how long I could last. I think initially I just like the idea of having myself saved for her pleasure only. She and I would still have sex but jerking off would be obviously out of the question.

It would require something more than a casual play partner though. Unless the person had me in it a day or two before a planned meeting, but that would make a cancelled date a horrible turn of events.

I’m incredibly curious about the subject and am dying to try it. I actually have an idea that might be “so crazy it just might work”.

Enter: The US Postal Service

Here’s my thought. Buy a chastity device and mail myself the key!

Brilliant right?

I could put it on Monday morning, mail myself the key and have it Tuesday or Wednesday. If I wanted to go longer I could mail it on a friday morning and not have it until after the weekend.

I know, I know. Three or for days isn’t that long compared to others who have experienced chastity. But we’re talking about me here. Technically I’d be topping myself and well…I’m not a good top so a few days is good enough.

A friend of mine did point out that I’d be screwed if the key were ever lost in the mail.

Funny to be screwed by a device that is meant to prevent any screwing at all.