Ah, here’s a touchy one.

I do have a few friends who are, or were Pro-Dommes so my thoughts on this may be a bit skewed due to my adoration of them.

I know many people in the lifestyle who have nothing but hatred for Pros. I’m not one of them. In fact, I am very grateful that lifestyle pros exist.

After all, if a guy out there just needs a kinky fix and will go to a Pro, that’s one less guy that I’m competing with out in the real world. Pros thin the herd. They help remove the guys that would otherwise be standing in my way of meeting someone.

Also, what if some woman sees an image of a Pro and is inspired to become a lifestyle Domme because the idea turns her on? It could happen!

I think the reason is because there are many different types of people who will dominate for money and some of these other kinds get mislabeled as a Pro-Domme.

There’s the woman who will lead a guy on, try to make him think she wants a relationship but he needs to prove his submission to her by giving her a tribute. I fell for this a couple of times when I first moved to NYC. My desire to serve blinded me into thinking that she really was interested in me, this was just the best way to separate myself from the phonies. Yeah…not smart. I’m ashamed to say I fell for it three times (and lost around $600) before my credit card helped me see the light.

There are unscrupulous Pro-Dommes out there of course.

Ugh…I can still remember a very painful memory of how I was tricked by one. Well, I was stupid and naive so that doesn’t help either.

Just after I moved to the city I found a Domme on Collarme who was very interested in me. After a week or so she wanted to meet. She wanted to meet me at a dungeon she likes to take her subs to, I would be required to pay the $100 “rent” for the dungeon. I told her I wasn’t interested in Pros and she assured me that she was wanted me as her personal slave but this was just the way that she went about meeting her potential subs. It was the interview process.

I arrived and quickly realized it was a dungeon filled with Pros but I decided to go along with it, after all, maybe she was the real deal.

We went to her room and she had me kneel. We talked for a few minutes then she had me strip and she bound me to a spreader-bar hanging from the ceiling. She didn’t want to know anything about me really. I could almost tell that this wasn’t personal for her in any way. She toyed with me for a few minutes and after she was done she told me that she still wasn’t sure about me. I would have to come back at least four more times and bring $250 each time if I wanted to be considered.

As the door on the elevator to the dungeon closed behind me, I began to cry.

She knew I didn’t have that kind of money, yet she told me if I really wanted to be her slave I would find a way.

How is it that I’m not filled with hatred for everyone who charges after that? I don’t know. Probably because I do know of a few who are honorable the way they do it. I don’t mix them in with the bad ones.

Here’s the other thing, I like knowing it’s there for me as an option. While I can’t imagine going to one, I like knowing that someday (maybe soon) it may be the only way for me to experience it.

I’ve spent thousands of dollars (debt) going on countless dates that don’t go past the expensive dinner, attended many events and paid for memberships to dating sites that haven’t yielded anything more than a handshake. Rather than feeling empty after doing all of that, wouldn’t it be better if I felt empty after experiencing some play? It would probably cost less in the long run.

Just like anything else there are good people and bad people. Good presidents and bad presidents. Good mechanics and bad mechanics. Good Pro-Dommes and bad Pro-Dommes.

I’m grateful for the good ones.