In Search Of Le Kink In Paris

This is the view from the hotel room.


The view inside the hotel room is quite different.

I’m located next to Gare De L’est, I believe that’s french for “If you can see this, you can probably smell mildew”.

The A/C doesn’t work but there is free Wifi. I’ll take the wifi any day.

I’m on zero sleep for more than a day now, my best friend is out cold yet I’m tempted to go to the parts of town some new friends in London suggested I check out in search of BDSM in Paris.

One Londoner told me that Paris was not the best place to look for BDSM or anything more than fetish. One woman told me, “The dominant women there like to look like they can beat your ass and fuck you, they don’t actually want to beat your ass and fuck you”.

My best friend and I have gone to two kink events in the past three nights we’ve been in Europe. I can tell you that there’s a big separation between fashion and passion in London. (Fashion and pasison? Fuck I really am on zero sleep).

I’ll give a full recap of the fun had in London later (no sex or anything but made lots of new friends), right now I’m torn between taking a long nap that will probably result in my waking up 8 hours from now, or heading out to find the closest group of kinky people.

My limited experience (20 minutes) in Paris seem to disagree with the theory that Parisians are rude. I’ve actually met some very nice people who have been more than happy to give me advice and a smile.

Thanks to my Iphone’s GPS, navigating is much easier than it would have been otherwise.

Though, google maps doesn’t come up with anything when I do a search for “woman with a whip, a love of oral worship and a desire to sexually abuse tall New York City boys”.

Fuck the nap, the search is on…..

Problems With Acting Submissive

Hello from London! I’m terribly sleep deprived but found a little cafe with free wifi and it gave me a chance to show you this gem.

Medieval chastity devices???


Badman has an interesting post filled with some great comments on the issue of presenting myself as a submissive to women.

One woman left a comment: “I enjoy being dominant but find myself repulsed by a man who says he is submissive. “

Later she wrote “After speaking with Bad Man about your issues I’ve come to believe one thing: you’d be best served by paying for what you want.”

Ouch. That sucks eggs.

Troy’s comment was considerably more helpful: “Where I see axe go wrong sometimes is that he puts his submission first: objectifying his own sexual orientation in the same way he objectifies the women he hopes will dominate him. If he’d only focus his efforts on being axe, on showing all of axe’s dimension, not just the subby part.”

I’ve attempted this a few times over the past week. I’ve tried to change the way I present myself as just a normal guy who happens to be submissive. After exchanging emails with one woman on Collarme recently, she suggested I start looking for a submissive woman. Why Is that?

“Because you don’t seem submissive. Your tactics are quite aggressive and Dom-like. Maybe you’re not a sub. Maybe you’re just a bottom. I don’t know.”

Keep in mind, I was respectful to her. It’s not like I was demanding that she use me or anything.

“You will use me for your pleasure!! Force me to bow down before you!!!”

I was just being myself. Relaxed, calm, not begging.

I’m now wondering if I hadn’t shown my other dimensions things would have turned out differently with my conversation with her.

It seems some women require a guy to act more submissive and others are turned on by the ones who don’t. I’ll have to try and pay more attention in the future to see what type of guy a woman goes for.

Do I toss a coin to see if I should just be myself or if I should present myself in a more submissive manner?

What are the signs to look for when seeing what kind of guy a woman is looking for?

How can you tell if a woman is looking for someone who is more submissive compared to someone who’s looking for all of my dimensions up front?

It’s certainly something to think about.

It will be nice to get away from searching for a bit, put my mind at ease and hopefully I’ll come back from Europe with a new perspective on things.

More Non-Kinky Things: Photo Edition

Just a few non-sexy thoughts I’ve been having.

I’ve decided to expand my fashion a bit. From now on I’m not going to have just black or blue All-Stars.

I’ve added gray.


The new IPhone. I used half of my economic stimulus package to get it. The other half went to paying off debt (sexy huh?). Meanwhile, if you have an iphone, I’ve made and Iphone theme to my blog. It’ll load faster now if you have an Iphone and will compress it down for ya. See?


I love these two photos. Such a contrast.



I’m getting more and more excited for my big trip to London and Paris next month. If you know of anything going on between August 8-11 (in London) and August 11-14 (Paris), then by all means email me.

My First Trip To The Nude Beach

I went to a nude beach for the first time in my life this weekend.

I have one question. Where the hell are the frolicking coeds?

Aren’t there supposed to be frolicking coeds at a nude beach? I mean, that’s why you go to the nude beach right? For the frolicking coeds.

Despite the lack of lounging, playing, swimming, pondering or any other type of coed, it was nice day trip with one of my best friends. She was easily the youngest and most attractive one there so she was getting plenty of guys smiling as she walked by them.

A comedian once said that most of the people you see at a nude beach are people you wouldn’t want to see naked in the first place. I’m not saying this is true. I’m just sayin’.

Lots of old guys.

There were a few attractive women there with their boyfriends/husbands. I wished I had brought a bucket of chum with me so I could toss it in the ocean when their boyfriends went swimming. Hell I don’t know if there are many sharks in the area, but it was my only plan of action.

How do you approach a naked woman on the beach? You can’t compliment her on her shoes or her dress. “Say, nice…. areolae you got there.”

I went with one of my best friends. As always it’s not what you’re doing but the company you keep. When I’m spending time with someone like her it doesn’t matter what I’m doing. She’s one of those people that makes everything a blast.

Driving back through long island was a bit stressful though. I’m not used to driving through traffic and I like to take over driving duties for my friend. It’s a form of service in a way. My stress through the traffic was a bit obvious and she always likes to remind me that I need to stop being a country-boy and start being a cool city-boy.

A few photos from my day-trip:


My first trip to a lighthouse too. Fully clothed of course. Here I am looking for a wifi signal for my Iphone. No, I’m not that much of a geek.



Random Ramblings

A few random thoughts:

-I put an ad up on Craigslist yet again last night, the headline: “Who Do I Have To Fuck Around Here To Meet A Dominant Woman?”. I thought it was funny but some thought it sounded desperate or jaded. No matter, I had the same response as the sincere and non desperate posts I put up as well.

-I got an email from TES asking why I hadn’t renewed my membership. I told them that, while I am glad they exist, they really need to do more to encourage dominant women. Maybe having a dominant women’s only group or something. I know too many women who describe most of the submissive men at TES as “creepy”. The last Dominant women/submissive men meeting I was at had around 20 men and 2 women. I’m not exaggerating. I’m sure I’ll still renew my membership. Just not yet.

-I reopened my OK Cupid profile last night. Vanilla ice-cream is better than no ice-cream. Though, I’ll admit my profile mentions kink so I’m sure that will keep them away until I make my profile vanilla.

-I have my RSS Reader automatically mark any dominant women posting on craigslist. I have maybe twenty keywords that will flag it and bring it to my attention. I stopped doing this last year but I decided to start again. Below is an image from the most common post from a dominant woman.

Click the image for a larger version.

-I need a drink.