Don’t Put Up With That Shit

A friend of mine has been having problems with a submissive guy she’s been playing with. Most of their sex has been leaning toward vanilla lately. Not because she’s not in the mood, it’s because he’s not in the mood.

He just hasn’t felt very submissive lately.

I’ve heard this complaint from a number of women. Fun stuff they used to do has been pushed aside and now the guy’s just interested in having his orgasm and going to bed.

She told me her initial reaction was to put him in chastity to make him more agreeable but he declined. Now she’s feeling less dominant and more antsy to get the kind of kink she wants.

I’m not blaming the guy (well maybe a little), who really knows what’s going on in his head. Maybe he has other things going on in his life that are putting a damper on his submissive side and he needs to focus on that or maybe he’s just a douche who told her he wanted the same kinky stuff she wanted just so he could get inside her pants.

My advice to her was to go find it somewhere else. If she sat down and had the conversation with him and their desires didn’t match, she should just yell “Next!” and meet up with one of the other hundred thousand guys who’d love to get beaten, tied up, fucked and who knows what.

There’s no reason for any woman to put up with not getting her sexual needs met. I don’t care of she’s dominant, submissive or vanilla. If you’re not getting fucked the way you want then maybe you need to add another guy or girl or two or three to the mix until you are getting everything you want.

If there’s something you’re into and your current guy isn’t doing it for you, just pop and ad on craiglist and within minutes you’ll hundreds of guys replying. Sure not all of them are what you’re looking for but you’ll at least see one or two in there.   

And don’t pay any attention to what guys actually say on their first email to you. They’re not actually thinking when they write these things. The emails that appear intelligent were probably written months ago and they’re just copying and pasting. Besides, don’t you want a guy who’s desperate to please you and give you what you want? After all, you met this other guy who’s not so desperate and look where that’s gotten you. You’re placing an ad on craigslist.

If you find them attractive (photos, not words) then reply and set the tone in your response. He’ll probably be so shocked that you actually replied that he’ll probably be willing to give you his social security number at that point. Hell even I’m willing to give you some of the numbers in mine right now: 078. See! And I haven’t even met you yet.

As long as the guy doesn’t come across as a total nutjob then meet him for a drink, you’ll be able to tell within minutes. If you’re not into him then go meet numbers 2 through 8438349 who emailed you.

Women who want hot crazy sex are too rare to waste their time on a guy who won’t give it to them.

My Memorial Weekend

-I held out hope until Monday afternoon that I’d complete my quest. While I was out on Saturday I met someone who hinted that something was possible but there really wasn’t any chemistry.

-I did manage to get a sunburn yesterday after spending a little too much time out in the sun in Central Park. My skin stings a bit but it’s also a bit warm. It reminds me of how it feels after took someone a flogger to my back for almost an hour straight. It’s a good kinda pain in a way. At least now I know how to get the residual feeling of tender loving abuse.

-I really need to stop looking for it. I need to stop trying so hard. It’s goes against the way I was raised: If you put hard work into something it will pay off. In this case, you get the same result by doing nothing.

-I’ve been thinking about her quiet a bit. I hope I get to see her again soon. I’ll sometimes walk down the street just hoping our paths will cross, hoping she’ll turn the corner and smile at me.

-I have some vanilla friends visiting from out of town this weekend so it’s doubtful that I’ll make it to SMACK. I’m hoping they go to bed early Saturday night so I can still sneak out.

-I’ve officially sworn off craigslist (again).

-I did manage to see the new Indiana Jones movie. My review? It’s better than not having a new Indiana Jones movie. There were a few times I was rolling my eyes. Still, it was better than nothing.

Random Ramblings

A few random thoughts:

-I put an ad up on Craigslist yet again last night, the headline: “Who Do I Have To Fuck Around Here To Meet A Dominant Woman?”. I thought it was funny but some thought it sounded desperate or jaded. No matter, I had the same response as the sincere and non desperate posts I put up as well.

-I got an email from TES asking why I hadn’t renewed my membership. I told them that, while I am glad they exist, they really need to do more to encourage dominant women. Maybe having a dominant women’s only group or something. I know too many women who describe most of the submissive men at TES as “creepy”. The last Dominant women/submissive men meeting I was at had around 20 men and 2 women. I’m not exaggerating. I’m sure I’ll still renew my membership. Just not yet.

-I reopened my OK Cupid profile last night. Vanilla ice-cream is better than no ice-cream. Though, I’ll admit my profile mentions kink so I’m sure that will keep them away until I make my profile vanilla.

-I have my RSS Reader automatically mark any dominant women posting on craigslist. I have maybe twenty keywords that will flag it and bring it to my attention. I stopped doing this last year but I decided to start again. Below is an image from the most common post from a dominant woman.

Click the image for a larger version.

-I need a drink.