I’m getting ready for the New Year!
I’m still debating on what I’ll be doing for New Years eve. A friend will be heading to BDSM event though not sure I want to shell out the cash for it. I’ve had a number of invitations for parties with some of my ‘nilla friends. I’ll probably end up flipping a coin.
Meanwhile I’ve been doing some New Years house cleaning in preparation for the next 12 months.
I do have a list of goals I’m going to set (one is to get a beating that I can still feel the day after) but my immediate goal is to remove some of the things that have caused me stress over this past year.
I’ve decided not to renew my Alt.com profile. It’s still there, I just won’t be sending any emails. Actually, now that I think of it. I’ll probably get the same number of emails I was getting when the profile was in gold status.
There’s one woman who I’ve been eager to serve, play, worship, do anything with. She knows this and has used it to torment me but not in a good way. She will text or call me, flirt with me just to get me to become eager to be with her, then I won’t hear from her for weeks. Then she’ll do it again, calling me expressing interest in doing something then she’ll cancel our plans the last minute. She’s been like this since I first met her in March. I know what she’s doing. Whenever she needs to feel wanted or desired she calls me. She constantly gets my hopes up only to cancel at the last minute. She’ll talk about wanting me to sleep at the foot of her bed chained and used just to get me excited. Then she’ll cancel hours before meeting. Over and over we’ve played this dance. She’s probably canceled close to a dozen times.
Two weeks ago I sent her a text after once such cancellation:
“Look, you know how badly I want to submit to you. You’ve said that you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. You have me if you want me but there’s nothing more I can do. It’s there to take if you want it, but it won’t be there forever.”
Today I got a text message from her asking what my plans were for the weekend.
I didn’t respond.
Good for you!
Do *not* like her. Grrrrr. (Bet I could take her, I’m just sayin’.)
Good for you.
E- The more I think about it, the more I think she’s really just has low self esteem and gets an ego boost from it. In a way I feel bad for her.
Smart cookie. She is probably too big of a wimp to actually follow through on her fantasy. The texts, etc are enouigh for her to get off without fulling commiting to being a Domme. Just my two cents.
Axe, I’m cleaning house too … although you wrote about it in a much more lucid way than I did.
Really great to meet you Thursday, and I never got to thank you for the Guinness. But thank you.
I feel like I’m carrying Bitchy’s mantle here, but this is exactly one of the problems the Industry of Femdom has caused submissive men to have: dominant women wouldn’t dare be dominant because they like to, no, instead they do it to feel better about having low self-esteem. That is not dominance, nor strength, it is distraction and susceptibility to weakness.
9 out of 10 “dominant women” that I have met in person women I observe feeling that way, and that is the single most common reason I am not attracted to those dominants.
Weakness is a turn off. Dominant women don’t get turned on by weak men, and submissive men don’t get turned on by weak women. Why is that so hard for so many people to understand?
See above. Wimp? Yes. Her fantasy? There’s no way for us to tell.
Axe, this woman is looking for a fix and you’re not a drug. Don’t let her turn you into her dealer.
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