I’m getting ready for the New Year!
I’m still debating on what I’ll be doing for New Years eve. A friend will be heading to BDSM event though not sure I want to shell out the cash for it. I’ve had a number of invitations for parties with some of my ‘nilla friends. I’ll probably end up flipping a coin.
Meanwhile I’ve been doing some New Years house cleaning in preparation for the next 12 months.
I do have a list of goals I’m going to set (one is to get a beating that I can still feel the day after) but my immediate goal is to remove some of the things that have caused me stress over this past year.
I’ve decided not to renew my Alt.com profile. It’s still there, I just won’t be sending any emails. Actually, now that I think of it. I’ll probably get the same number of emails I was getting when the profile was in gold status.
There’s one woman who I’ve been eager to serve, play, worship, do anything with. She knows this and has used it to torment me but not in a good way. She will text or call me, flirt with me just to get me to become eager to be with her, then I won’t hear from her for weeks. Then she’ll do it again, calling me expressing interest in doing something then she’ll cancel our plans the last minute. She’s been like this since I first met her in March. I know what she’s doing. Whenever she needs to feel wanted or desired she calls me. She constantly gets my hopes up only to cancel at the last minute. She’ll talk about wanting me to sleep at the foot of her bed chained and used just to get me excited. Then she’ll cancel hours before meeting. Over and over we’ve played this dance. She’s probably canceled close to a dozen times.
Two weeks ago I sent her a text after once such cancellation:
“Look, you know how badly I want to submit to you. You’ve said that you wanted me just as much as I wanted you. You have me if you want me but there’s nothing more I can do. It’s there to take if you want it, but it won’t be there forever.”
Today I got a text message from her asking what my plans were for the weekend.
I didn’t respond.