Thoughts

The Bad Kind Of Pain

· February 16, 2008 · Thoughts · , · 6 Comments

I really messed up my back.

Shit I’m 33 and I feel 66.

I have no clue what I did to it.

I was crouched down, cleaning stuff out of the fridge (yeah, sexy right?) stood up and BLAMO! I couldn’t even walk.

The next morning I called in sick to work, my roommate helped me put my pants, socks and shoes on (ok maybe i’m 96 years old) and headed to the Doc.

It’s an odd kind of pain. It hurts so much that it’s funny. I actually laugh sometimes after falling to my knees in pain, maybe because it seems so silly to me.

So now, I’m just taking it easy. Wishing she would call and invite me out to dinner or something. I’ll probably end up just relaxing though. Taking it easy.

Tomorrow I’ll performing service for Viviane at one of her great gatherings. Serving tea, cleaning up garbage, making sure there’s plenty of food out on the table.

Maybe everyone will assume I’m limping because I just had some really intense play.

Then again, I may be limping because of the really intense painkillers I’m on.

I Love/Hate Pain

· February 15, 2008 · Thoughts · , , , · 5 Comments

I love getting hurt…I hate seeing others getting hurt.

If I’m at a play party and someone is experiencing some really intense pain, I almost always need to look away.

Obviously I know that the “victim” is probably enjoying themselves, and I can see how it can be incredibly hot. I just have a difficult time seeing someone else in pain.

Maybe it’s 90% pacifism and 10% “I wish that were me”.

Even as a young boy, if my little brother was going to get punished for something, I’d try to take the blame for it. Seeing him getting the belt or a spanking was much harder for me than getting the same treatment myself.

I have the same reaction when someone else is being humiliated. I feel bad for them, want to make it stop and just want to protect them.

My ability to accept it and watch or not be bothered on it changes depending on my mood, the situation and who is on the receiving end at the time. If it’s someone I know, then I feel very protective of them and have to keep myself from saying something.

So is it pacifism? Empathy? Jealousy?

Is it rare that a masochist feels uncomfortable seeing others get the treatment he’s dying for?

How To Tell If That Domme You’re Emailing Is Really A Man

· February 12, 2008 · Thoughts · , · 24 Comments

It’s happened to me oh…maybe ten or twenty times in the past.

It’s stopped happening since I stopped paying for my alt.com membership.

After sending countless emails and finally getting a reply back from a dominant woman, you spend weeks emailing only to find out that all that time was wasted on someone with balls.

I have balls. I don’t need more balls in my life.

Unless they’re connected to a harness maybe.

hmmmm

Where was I? Oh yeah.

Here are a few signs that the Domme you’ve been emailing might be a guy.

-Wants you to buy a webcam.

-Wants you to send photos of your naughty bits.

-Refuses to talk on the phone after many emails and it seems you really click.

-Asked if you’re into forced-bi within the first email.

-Want’s you to prove your submission by getting fucked by one of her male slaves before she’ll meet you.

-Has a beard.

-Sends you photos that look like they were scanned from a magazine, because they were scanned from a magazine.

There are more ways of course, I’ve been “tricked” a number of times. The “you must get fucked by my slave before meeting” is very common.

And sad.

This makes me wonder, would any dominant woman ever in the history of the world demand this of a potential submissive?

How To Find New York’s Sexy Underbelly

· February 11, 2008 · Links, Thoughts · , , , · 6 Comments

Forgive me, there’s no point to this post, just thinking.

I read websites like Debauchette, Sexegesis, A Bad Man, Jefferson, Dominatrix Next Door, and countless others based in New York.

I wonder how it’s possible that I live in the same city they do.

Sex parties? Are you shitting me? Really? In the same time-zone as me?

Reading these blogs it seems that finding wild crazy sex just falls into the laps (literally) of some people in the city.

It’s not just the bloggers of course. I have a number of friends who would probably blog but they don’t have time to since they’re too busy having wild amazing sex.

Maybe the problem is that I’m trying too hard?

Many continue to try craigslist. I’ve gone to newyork.craigslist.org but maybe I need to try seriously.this.is.the.real.craigslist.that. everyone.has.success.with.newyork.craigslist.org

Nope. Nothing there.

It’s not jealousy really, it’s more “hey guys can I come too?”

Ok wait. I have been to one sex party.

That’s a story for later in the week though.

They Will Be Missed

· February 11, 2008 · Thoughts · · One Comment

Well, my two new friends Eileen and May are off to Australia soon and I couldn’t be happier for them.  I only wish I had met them sooner.  Cheers you two!   This song’s for you.  It’s my favorite version of it: [youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=JCgyWBJglng] 

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