This is kind of a hard post to write. A lot has happened in the past few weeks that I haven’t shared with you yet.

First some sad news.

There was..is someone very special and dear to me who I’d visit a couple of times per month. I wrote about my experiences with her on here and we formed a connection, more than just friends with benefits. Then, one day, she told me she didn’t want to see me anymore and I was crushed.

The hardest part is having someone I felt so close to now thinks I’m an assface, that everything I told her was a lie.

The problem is, there’s no proof of purchase for adoration and respect.

Soon after that I started spending more time with another friend. We clicked and she asked me to provide service for her one day. I did and something else clicked between us as well, what started out as simple service turned into more.

More on that later.

Its and odd feeling, mourning the loss of one relationship with a person you care about while being thrilled about another new relationship.

So…that’s a small update. Some sad news and some great news.

More to come…

She was toying with me. Teasing me, hurting me, making me squirm one minute and wince the next.

I was panting heavily. Maybe that’s what gave her the idea.

Without warning she placed her hand over my face and looked deeply into my eyes. At first her eyes burned their gaze to the back of my brain. A look of power, then a look of amusement as a smile came across her face.

Her soft but firm hand pushing down. Not so much to hurt but enough to keep me in my place.

She leaned in and whispered “You don’t breathe until I tell you to breathe.”

While one hand pressed down the other roamed my body. Pinching, flicking, grabbing.

I don’t know how long it lasted. I just remember I didn’t panic at first, I found myself really enjoying the control. I can’t remember if she could tell if I’d had enough by my movements, the sounds I was making or if she simply wanted to show me she could do it and I wouldn’t fight her. Finally her hand was replaced with her lips and she kissed me hard as I caught my breath.

Days later she’d be teasing me again. That smile would return and this time her foot would press into my throat, once again I’d surrender.