Bent Over

She had me bent over, arms tied to bondage points above the door, legs spread wide and my body slightly straining to hold the position but not so much that it was too uncomfortable.

She started by gently stroking my back.  I don’t know if she realizes how much this act calms me.  Sometimes I get nervous at the beginning of play like this.  Years together and I can still feel nervous.  Mostly because I’m worried if I’ll please her, I’m worried that I may not be able to take it for as long as she wants.  I want to make her happy so badly that it messes with my head and psyches me out sometimes.   Her touch helps change that, it helps to remove the worry and turn it into what it should be, about lust and passion and sex and sensuality and about the fuck.

She takes me out of my head.

Sometimes it’s the way she grabs me, the position she puts me in or the way she pulls my head back by my hair.  It could be a smack of my ass or a deep kiss.  I don’t know exactly when it happens but it does.

It’s a matter of just letting go and living in the moment.

All I Really Need

Sometimes, she can solve all of my worries with a simple note.

After a stressful couple of weeks, this was all that I needed.  Next to the note lay only a leather collar for me to change into.


BDSM As Stress Relief

I’ve had a very stressful past couple of weeks.   A combination of family emergencies, work stress, and a feeling of spreading myself too thin with all of my obligations.

Often I’ll be at work and I’ll feel a pull to escape.  I’ll just want to be in the comfort of the tiny space that is our world when Sade and I are alone.  Wether we’re cuddled up watching Stephen Fry on the BBC, laughing our asses off at who knows what or doing something frisky.

It’s in those more stressful moments where I’ll feel a desire for more than cuddle time. I’ll feel the need to be taken.   Sometimes that need is to be bent over and fucked by her, sometimes it’s to be beaten until I collapse.  To lose myself in my submission to her.

It’s not just in the intimacy and the agression of it all.  It’s also a need to not be stuck in my own head, juggling a million things at once.  When she takes me, everything else dissolves away.

A few weeks ago she could tell I was overwhelemd with everything.  It was just after midnight, I was taking a break from some of my freelance work to wash the dishes and she looked at me and told me to get into the bedroom.

She knew I needed a release and after a good round of spanking, whacking, flogging and other torments, she ordered me to cry.

The release was exactly what I needed even though I didn’t know it beforehand.

I needed to cry, to have a break from the work and feel the closness of us, to let everything but us fade away for even a moment.

It not only helped with the stress of the night but the stresses of the coming days.

I’m still not certain how that works, but it does.

So, What’s up?

I have to fit a lot into this post.  So much to mention.


Well it’s been a pretty busy year so far.   I’ve had lots of extra freelance work so my days have been filled with the dayjob and my nights with the evening gigs.

On the plus side it means more work.  On the downside it means less time to put in the podcast.  Sometimes it feels like I have to quickly slap one together so I can finish my other work in time.

I still manage to crank one out every other week to my own surprise.  I just managed to pass the 50th episode mark.  And here I thought I’d quit after 10 or so.

Speaking of the podcast, I’m almost done with the long list of interviews I recorded a few months ago so I’ll be doing more interviews starting next month.  If you or someone you know would like to sit in front of a mic for a few just shoot me an email.

Let’s seee…what else:


Sade and I share calendars, syncing our iPhones and Laptops. One day while at work she told me I had better check my calendar and sure enough here’s what I see:


“Be dressed in cod piece sans front piece, collar, leash, nipple clamps, and ballstretcher. Be waiting for me, kneeling with hard cock in hand and dinner for 1 on the table.”


Need I say more?


The Rope Share is back Sunday February 20th.  This time it’s hosted by my friend Tyutumi and Master Mike.

More details can be found here.

While you’re there be sure to take a look at all of the other events coming up at Glint Studios.  If you haven’t been to a class or event there before, you don’t know what your’e missing.  No, really you don’t know what you’re missing and I pity you.

My Relationship With Pain

I was on all fours on the bed, she was standing behind me.

After a few minutes she told me she wanted me to thank her when she hit me in a way that I really loved.

I started thanking her after every blow.

She laughed a little and told me she only wanted me to thank her after she hit me in a way that I reeeeeeeally loved.

I somehow managed to speak through the endorphins, saying that I didn’t know when I really loved it.

I’m still confused by my answer.

It’s hard to explain since I really love all of it.  Whatever she’s doing, I really love it.   I love enduring through the pain.  I love taking it for her, I love Yes I love the sting, the thud and the ache but there’s an overall feeling about it I love as well.   Something that covers the entire experience.

I’ve never been able to understand whenever I hear someone saying how they love a very specific kind of pain.  When someone says they love a cane on their thighs but not their ass or a flogger on their back but not their chest.  It’s all the same to me.

I know I’m not like many masochists out there, I rarely get physically turned on while I’m experiencing pain.  Emotionally, I’m extremely turned on.  In the grand scheme of things, pain is still very new to me.   I’ve been tying myself up since I was very very young.   I’ve only been experiencing pain in association with sex for a couple of years.

Sure there are different degrees and I react differently to those degrees, but I’ve never been able to say that I love a cane over a flogger or one part of my body hurt more than the other.   It’s not about that.

It’s about the sounds she makes when my body is pushed until it shakes, about how her hands feel running over my warm skin and how it feels when she kisses me hard in the middle of it.

I love all of it.  I crave all of it.

Wether she ties my (actually they belong to her) cock and balls in an uncomfortable position or pulling down on my nipples or tying me in a stress position, I’m in heaven.

I just love being hers.   I love taking it for her, I love the intimacy of it, the power, the control, the pain all of it and more.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you!