We were having dinner one night. Throughout the meal she had been complaining about not being able to find a guy to fuck her (her words) the way she wanted.
“All I want is a guy who can get it up and can last more than ten minutes and can fuck me fast and hard or slow and soft, depending on my mood. Is that too much to ask for?”.
She had broken up with her boyfriend a few months ago and her biggest complaint was their unequal sexual appetites. She was one of the few vanilla friends I had that knew about my…. interests.
Me: Why don’t you find a submissive guy?
Her:Um I don’t want to tie up and gag a guy, I just want him to fuck me the way I want.
Me: Most of the sex I have has nothing to do with rope. Usually it’s with either me on top or my head between her legs.
Her: What about doggy style? Do you do doggy style?
Me: What do you think? That I’d tell her I don’t want to have sex in a position just because it’s not with me on the bottom? That sounds more selfish than submissive.
Her: So you’ll fuck her hard and you don’t see that as being dominant?
Me: You mean I do it the way that gets her off and I don’t see it as being dominant? No!
She looked at me in disbelief and started throwing a bunch of what-ifs at me.
Her: What if she wanted you to fuck her in the ass instead of her putting on a strap-on? Would you do it?
Me: Are you drunk? Of course I would.
Her: And you don’t see that as being dominant at all? What if she wanted you and another guy to double-team her?
Me: I’ve done that before.
Her: What? And you two weren’t dominant?
Me: The other guy was vanilla and it was clear that it was all about her so….no.
Her: What if she wanted to get on her knees and go down on you?
Me: Are you insane? What part of “if she’s getting off, then I’m getting off” don’t you understand?
Her: So do you make her spank you after you’ve done something dominant? You know, to even yourself out again?
I could tell she was just giving me shit at this point. Trying to push my buttons. I didn’t answer her.
After a minute or two of silence and deep thinking on her part, she asked me:
“Can you help me write an ad looking for a submissive on Craigslist?”