Look Out Ladies

I was so lucky today!

There I was working away when all of a sudden someone emailed me some veerrry interesting information popped into my inbox.

I’m writing this post as a word of waring as a result of my taking part in this exclusive offer. Just so you know ladies:

I will make you explode with erotic fire.

I know, I know, you’re thinking “how is this possible?” “Can it be true?” “Surely he must be lying.”

Well just to prove that I did get this email, I’ll include a screenshot.


Yes, only a partial screenshot since I’d prefer it that the secret not spread like erotic wildfire. It’s in the worlds best interest that only a few select men and women know this secret so I’m just posting part of the screenshot to prove that I will soon hold this unique ability.

I couldn’t believe it either! I read it and read it again but knew that they couldn’t legally offer it if it wasn’t true so I placed my credit card info into some website written in a magical looking language and I’m assuming my order will be placed and soon I’ll have it delivered.

I did a search on wikipedia but they have no entry on wikipedia, nor does there appear to be any known medical condition called “erotic fire”. This just proves that I’ll be able to give women a truly unique experience. Something so rare that they can’t even document it.

Even though this is a warning, please understand that I’ve read enough Spider-man comics to know that with great power comes great responsibility. I promise to wield this power with the utmost care.

I know what you’re thinking “who will you practice this on before unleashing it to the world?”.

I’m glad you asked. Because shortly after I placed my order I recieved a ton of other great offers including one that posed this question:

“When is the last time you had a one night stand or a threesome? The women you meet at our online dating community want to date men for one night stands and threesomes only….if you’re interested then you should join our dating community today….you will never be bored!!!! Get laid!!! Get fucked!!! Guaranteed!!!”

It’s guaranteed!

I placed my order to join but I couldn’t access the site after I paid for it. I assume it’s filled with so many horny women that the server crashed.   

So you’ve officially been warned ladies. Hope you’re wearing fire proof underwear.


And here I thought those emails hitting my spam folder were a waste of time. Darn.

Too funny 🙂

“Make her explode with erotic fire”? Sounds like an ad for syphilis.

Your humor is brilliant. Thanks for the laughs.

I’m gonna explode? I don’t wanna explode!

[Quote – almost – from ‘Serenity’ the movie]

*off to buy fire-proof panties*

Dea Sex Machina May 6, 2009 at 9:08 pm

That settles it. No more bean burritos on date night.


Where is the sign up sheet?


I must say, exploding women with erotic fire doesn’t sound right at all. But I think it would make a great band name.