Hey Laaaaaadyyyy

I’m writing this on the subway as I head to Pleasure Salon, a sex-positive social gathering filled with people from all over the NYC sex scene. There seems to be more poly people there than anything else but it’s still a decent time.

Ok that sounded mean in regards to poly people. I like poly people really, it just sometimes gets annoying hearing a guy mope about his fourth girlfriend. It’s like hearing a wealthy guy complain about how high his taxes are. Sorry, I just can’t feel pity for a guy who’s biggest problem is how complicated his life is because he’s got too many sex partners..

Anyway, I’m writing this because sitting next to me is a young woman dressed in fetishwear. I’m tempted to compliment her or strike up a conversation but I know that more and more often, the people wearing fetish are the people who aren’t really kinky at all.

There should be a special signal that kinky people can give to the world that let’s the world know they’re kinky without outing themselves.

We need a secret handshake or special look we can give people on the street so we can connect with one another.

I tried talking to the woman next to me via telepathy but she’s ignoring me.

Hey maybe she reads this blog.

If you’re reading this corset-lady, I’ll be at Pleasure Salon until 10-ish.


Why not adopt the Hanky Code? I mean, revise it a little for the straight but kinky community so as not to cause other awkwardness, but why not?

This is one my favorite themes. Someone hints that they are a bit kinky, the word ‘fetish’ pops up.. and it turns out that what they mean is that they bought a pvc skirt or a corset once and wore it to a hellfire party. For the last time.. it’s about what you do, not about what you wear!

Just because one is kinky doesn’t mean one isn’t practical or chooses to express other interests in one’s clothing. Being a typical geekgirl, my clothing pretty much reflects this: I go for comfort and convenience. Plus, I’m more likely to splurge on a $20 Doctor Who-themed t-shirt than a $100 vinyl corset – the former will see way more action in my wardrobe. (Perhaps this might be seen as a bad thing. Hmm.)

I love the challenge of striking up random conversation on the subway. The beautiful part of it is that more than likely you will never see that person again–so almost anything goes.

One of the reasons I made the bracelets/cuffs on my website is because they’re subtle, but not too subtle. They’re not blatant, but allow for a compliment or an opening line from someone who can see their possibilities.
I saw a woman in Williamsburg in fabulous boots and a black mini skirt the other day, and just wanted to run up and introduce myself. If I had a business card on me, I would have had an excuse to approach her. But I didn’t, so I didn’t.

A black LEATHER mini skirt.

Enjoy your Blog, first time looking at it. I think submissive me are so sexy!

Opps, I need to learn to spell…I think submissive MEN are so sexy! LOL!

I guess that “Hey, I’m a pervert too” is probably a bit forward as an opener…

I spend a lot of time on the underground trying to see whether my kink-radar is as good as my gaydar.

I don’t reccomend hitting on any women with a Jerry Lewis impression.

Try Clint Walker instead.


Well, let’s see. Based on your past experiences, you should have hit on the fetish-gear-wearing girl. If she responded and wanted to go out with you, you’d know she was vanilla. If she was icy and asked you how much money you make, you’d know she was a dom.

There. Problem solved!

(Totally not serious. Please don’t hurt me.)

An ex-sub of mine (he moved away, worst luck) used to call the people in fetish gear the “stand and model” crowd. Unfortunately, many times, very true.