Posts By axe

Two…whole…days.

She’s been out of town for the last two days.

Two…whole…days.

It’s actually the longest we’ve been apart since very early on in the relationship.

The silly part is, if someone where to come up to me and say they were away from their better half for two days and they’ve been aching for them, I’d probably say “Jeez, relax, it’s just a couple of days away, you’ll survive.”

Somehow it’s different when I’m the one aching.

I’ve spend the last two nights working on a few projects around the apartment.  I’ve managed to work though most of them.  It’s been a nice way to feel connected to her while she’s been away.  Doing service for her when she’s not here is a nice.

It’s very common for my mind to wander at work, I’ll daydream about something we’ve done or might do and I’ll find it impossible for me to leave my desk until I’m no longer turned on.    The last thing I want is to get fired due to a visible hard-on bulging through my pants so I just sit and wait for it to go away.

I sent her a text telling her how hard I was for her and she wanted me to go to the bathroom, take a photo of my (actually it belongs to her) cock and send it to her.   I managed to hide my state of arousal by putting my hand in my front pocket and holding my erection to the front of my leg as I walked to the bathroom while trying to act casually.

When I made it in I noticed two coworkers standing at the urinal chatting it up.   I made it to one of the stalls and waited for them to leave.   Seconds later they do and I was about to bring my cock and phone out to snap a photo when someone else walked in and I put them both away.   As my coworker walked by the stall he started talking to me.

How the hell did he know it was me?  He must have look in between the gaps in between the door and the wall and saw it was me.   Who the fuck does that”?

Side note:  Why do some guys talk in the bathroom?  I have a few coworkers who do this.  I can understand if we’re at a bar and we’ve had a few drinks and you’re making a passing joke or something but we’re at work.  I’m only in the same building as you because we’re paid to be in the same building.  One guy at work was so bad at it I finally told him “Look, if you ever see me in a situation where my dick is outside my pants, don’t talk to me”.   I figure this will also cover any situations in the future if this guy ever shows up to a sex party we’re at.

Anyway where was I?  Oh yeah, so as it turns out there’s no bigger erection killer than talking about computer networking hardware with a coworker while you’re in the bathroom…or anywhere for that matter.  Plus there are gaps in the construction of the stalls in the men’s room, if someone wanted to they could have easily spotted me pointing my phone’s camera down at my junk

I felt bad for not being able to send Sade the photo she requested but the next day I found myself daydreaming about our exploits together and moments later found myself in an empty bathroom.   I felt embarrassed even though she was the only one who’d see it (as far as I know, she’ll take photos of me now and then and shared the ones she likes most with her friends).   I pulled myself out of my jeans, aimed my phone at it, clicked an image of it and zipped back up.

Click and Send

She was pleased.

 

 

Masocast Time!

Please bear with me because my fancy microphone decided to break so the intro and outros are recorded with my laptop microphone, I’m saving up to buy a new one now and hope to be back to a good quality mic in a month.

This week, I sit down with a friend and discuss:

Porn in the 60s and 70s.

The two types of people in kink.

How Batman started him on the road to kink.

Psychological play

How do straight women do it?

Funniest kink and much more.

Help pitch in for the new recording equipment by going to masocast.com and clicking on donate to lend a few monitory helping hands via payola.

Special thanks to Edenfantasys.com who helps make the Masocast possible. You can save 20% on your order by entering the code EFCAST on check-out.

Click here to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes.

Masocast - Masocast - Masocast

Or listen directly on the Masocast website.

How BDSM Helps Me Overcome Fear

A couple of weeks ago I was almost mugged.

Almost.

Long story short, two guys pointed a gun at me and started making demands.  When I refused, the one without the gun started yelling “Shoot him, kill him, fucking shoot him, he’s a snitch!”

I still remember how he said the word “snitch”.  He said it as though I lacked the moral fiber.  As though telling the police about it made me a bad person and therefore I was just asking to be shot.  Yeah, I’m the bad guy here.

I wish I could say I tackled them and wrestled the gun away.  That I had held them at bay while the police arrived but I didn’t.   I was actually caught between fight or flight, I couldn’t decide what to do.  Eventually they realized they wouldn’t be getting anything from me and rode off.

Of course I called the police and the NYPD and I spent the next hour looking for them.   That part was pretty exciting actually.

I was on adrenaline for the next few hours.  I had shrugged it off and was even joking about it that night among friends.

The next morning was a different story.   I woke up in a panic.   I was afraid.   The scene kept running in my mind over and over again.  It would play out in different ways.  Sometimes they’d shoot me, other times I’d fight back, other times I’d run.   I couldn’t control it.

What if they had shot me?  What if Sade was with me?  What if they attack her next?

I found myself laying in the shower, sick to my stomach, vomiting, holding back tears and feeling dizzy.

Sade had me contact a friend of mine who’s a kink friendly therapist and we talked for a bit.   I was relieved to know that this was a normal reaction.

Eventually it subsided and I was fine until I tried to sleep the next night.  I could’t sleep.  I was overwhelmed with guilt.  I know it sounds silly but I felt guilty because I didn’t stop them.  What if they hurt someone in the future?   I felt it was my fault that I had the opportunity to stop them but I didn’t.    Maybe I read too many Spider-man comics as a kid.

I didn’t get any sleep that night.  I managed to doze off for a bit after 7:30AM.

Slowly the nightmares got better, I could start blocking it out of my mind but I was still afraid every time I walked in our neighborhood.  I was suspicious of everyone.

Everyone was a threat in my mind.  Everyone had a gun.  Everyone was dangerous.

Then, something started to help.

Sade would hurt me.

It wasn’t the hardest she’s ever beaten me.  But it was more than enough to put me into subspace pretty deeply, to make me feel more control and more pain than normal.

The mornings after she would hurt me, I would walk through the streets feeling stronger, less suspicious, less afraid….stronger.

The intimacy of the pain and loving touch helped me feel safer.

Now I’m walking home less worried about getting jumped on the street and more eager to get jumped at home.

 

 

The Floating World

 

I have been to the Floating World a number of times (can’t make it this year unfortunately) but if you haven’t been, I strongly suggest you experience it.

I’m not just saying this because I have a few friends behind the scenes, it really is a unique event.  Great classes, the biggest play area I’ve ever seen and some of the friendliest people around.

Registration ends August 1st so you better get off your butts and sign up now!

Presenter/Class List

Registration and Pricing


 


Found Femdom: We TV..Blah

Not all Found Femdom is good Found Femdom.

Case and point is this ad for the We TV show Bridezillas. These posters are all over New York right now.

I can’t really say wether or not the show is any good but…it is a reality show so that pretty much tell me everything I need to know.

IMG_0665.JPG

No, the broom isn’t part of the ad, but one friend suggested that it’s about the same size as the stick up her butt.