I have been active in the lifestyle for almost ten years now (though it’s difficult to be active when living in the midwest, hence the reason I moved to NYC two years ago). I’ve been interested in one aspect or another of BDSM for as long as I can remember. While there are many things I’ve tried, there are many more I haven’t. Some are things I would only be able to do within the context of a relationship.
While talking to a fellow sub recently, she posed a thought that I had never crossed my mind.
What if I have some false ideas about what a D/s relationship would be like. What if I wouldn’t enjoy it? What if I am meant to only enjoy casual play and anything longer than a few hours would be too much for me?
Then she brought up another idea….a hair-brained scheme of sorts. One of those “It’s so crazy, it just might work” ideas.
The idea? A full weekend of slavery.
“What if you could spend a whole weekend as an owned submissive? Sure it wouldn’t be anything like a real relationship, but at least you’d have a better feel for what it would be like, you’d at least get a taste so you could find out if you’re on the right path or not.”
I had never questioned if I was on the right path or not, it just felt right. But she did have a point, one that I couldn’t imagine being true, but she still had a point.
A full weekend of knowing what it was like to be under someone’s total control. Of course it wouldn’t be two straight days of play, it would probably be more like a relationship. There may be some play but there would be a lot of down time, perhaps I could do chores/service. Who knows what it would be like.
If it’s hard to find someone for casual play that I’m into and impossible to find someone for a relationship. Finding someone for something in the middle would be difficult.
“You could go to a pro for a weekend” she said.
“Yeah great, I’ll just save every penny for 3 years and let you know how that turns out”.
A few things have come to mind when I contemplate doing this.
-I would have to be willing to travel anywhere in the country to find someone up for this.
-It would have to be someone I totally trusted, spend even more time getting to know them than I would for casual play.
-It would have to be someone who was prepared for my emotional reaction when the weekend came to an end. I have a feeling I would get very emotional after finally having a taste, a very small hint of what I’m looking for and then having that come to an end.
-It would be nice to find someone who actually has some experience in a D/s relationship, someone who knew what the reality was like, or at least someone who had a good idea of what they wanted in the context of a D/s relationship.
-It would have to be someone who wanted to experience it as much as I did.
“That’s a pretty tall order,” my friend blurted.
As we were leaving the diner, she handed me 50 cent’s.
“What’s this for?”
“You might as well start saving for the pro-domme weekend now”.