More Spoiling And Some Toe Curling


I had no clue that there would be so much interest in this subject. It was a post I just threw up there, something that happened to me years ago.

A number of people have made their opinions known on the subject.

Eileen’s take on the subject makes me wish there were more Eileens in the world. (Stop hogging her Maymay)

There are lots of other people chiming in like PaganKinktress, Juxtaposedme, Rona, Kansas and Coriander.

I do have to disagree with Coriander’s assertion:

“Submissive men don’t adore women in cheap shoes. They adore the ones in the 1000$ thigh-high boots, the perfect bodies in the expensive lingerie, the Bitches with designer handbags, the Fetish Queens in latex and leather. I have not yet seen a single site devoted to the worship of a woman in cheap sneakers and white cotton comfortably cut panties. The women they worship have perfectly manicured nails and lips painted to succulent redness.”

I could care less about the clothes. In fact, isn’t naked better than anything else? I’d drool over a woman who’s confident in cheap sneakers and sweatpants over thigh-high boots any day. Plus, thigh-highs don’t show as much leg so….

Where was I?

Oh yeah.

I was pretty naive when the woman in question asked me to get coffee and go shopping. I was still new to New York and couldn’t imagine someone wanting me to pay for their shopping spree upon first meeting. Now if someone were to mention shopping, I’d know what she meant by it. Someone much wiser in the ways of the world pointed out the fact that she didn’t hide the idea of shopping from me. It’s just that I was too new to the area to know what shopping meant.

A submissive guy emailed me and it started an interesting conversation:

Him: I’m curious, how much were the shoes? And how hot was she?

Me: They were around 250 I think and she was very attractive.

Him:So she was very hot and dominant? And the price of admission was this pair of shoes? Ok, so assume the average ‘date’ is costing you $75. That’s like three mediocre dates that don’t give you anything… while this hottie who is dominant is willing to give you a chance. Hey, just the opportunity to walk behind her carrying her shoes would be kind of hot. Just a thought.

Me: I think you’re forgetting one point. I had nowhere near 250 bucks.

Him: Charge it.

Me: Buddy, I couldn’t if my life depended on it.

Him: Fair enough.

An email from someone I used to be intimate with ended this topic on a much happier note:

“Your pussy eating skills are worth more than a truckload of expensive shoes. She’s unfortunate for missing out on something far more valuable”.

I’m feeling much better about my empty wallet after reading that.


With all due respect to Coriander those sites are generally advertising a product. What she’s saying is equivalent of saying pornos are accurate depictions of life (or even sex).

I appreciate the compliment. But I might point out that Maymay probably couldn’t manage to hog me, even if he would want to.

Regarding the look of dominant women:

Can’t agree more with you regarding the love for women wearing sneakers and comfortably cut cotton panties. Seriously, Eileen and I were literally just talking about exactly that today and I remarked that one of my all-time favorite looks on dominant women is the jeans and a T-shirt “I just rolled out of bed and put on what was on top of my closet” look. I don’t like “made up” women.

Simply put, I think Coriander is wrong. Or rather, she’s unfortunately not wrong about most men, but she is wrong about most submissive men (who are like me anyway…and I assert that I am not that special).

Regarding hogging Eileen:

Just so you know, half the time when I crush on women I’m doing it knowing they’re submissive so that I can interest them in her. When I see her crushing on people, more often than not I’m hoping they’re interested in a threesome.

I too, especially as a dominant woman who does not fit the “stereotypical commericalized” version of the dominant female – I do not even own latex although I do own a few pairs of boots but that is because I enjoy them, not because I use them as props for scenes – have to disagree with Coriander.
If I were to be noticed on the street, which generally I am not because I blend in very well as average, you would immediately tag me as “soccor mom”. This works for me, and I use it to my advantage, because in the world of vanillas, where the majority of my life is spent, I am able to “fit” in.
In a scene, not much changes about me, especially when doing a scene with my submissive husband.
I have in fact, completely dominated him (and others) wearing a t-shirt, jeans and Sketcher shoes with no make-up applied.
In my opinion, the outfits, especially those in porn, are simply props and have little to nothing to do with dominating a male submissive. A woman is either dominate or she isn’t and if all that a submissive is responding to is her outfit, then I would question if his submission is true.
In my opinion, domination is about understanding one’s strengths, talents and power and using them effectively. Personally, I have never needed a $1,000 pair of shoes (sorry, Axe but $250 is a ridiculous amount to pay for shoes…boots, maybe…but shoes…) to be dominant.

I just posted a question on my blog about male dominance and would be interested to have your thoughts. Come have a look and tell us what you think:

Speaking personally – if and when I’m on the open market again – I’d MUCH rather have a guy who can [and wants to :-)] expertly eat me out on a regular [or semi regular] basis than any $250 shoes. ‘KTHX [GG].