Long Time, No Post

It’s been ages since I posted, I know. But I have a good excuse.


That’s pretty much it. I work the equivalent of two full-time jobs. A day-job and I freelance every night and all weekend. It leaves little time for much else. In fact I’m taking a break from working to write this post. I’ve had a number of concerned emails from people worrying about why I’ve been MIA so I figured I’d take a break from work to fill in the blanks.

Sade has been pretty much in the same situation. Between work and school there’s little time for socializing. There are some of our close friends who we used to see every week who we haven’t seen in months.

2015 was supposed to be the year my back got better post-surgery yet that didn’t work out. I continue to go to the doctor for pain mediation and decide what my next step should be surgery-wise but it’ll be a while before I can save up enough for the surgery.

I’ve had to cut back on the podcast as well. Where I used to put out an episode every other week I’m now forced to release one every other month at best. So instead of 24 episodes per year It’ll be 6 in 2016 if I’m lucky.

This is not due to a lack of interest in the podcast nor has it been due to the lack of great people to interview, I have a number of interviews in the vault just waiting to be released but no time to edit them.

I wish I could say I’ll be able to get back to a “normal” life sometime soon, back to socializing, play-parties, quality time with Sade and friends but that doesn’t seem like it’ll happen any time soon. I don’t work this much because I want to, I do it because I have no other choice. As long as the medical bills keep piling up I’ll need to pay for them.

I am grateful that I’m able to have two full-time jobs. I have friends who have trouble finding work at all so having too much work is much better than too little.

So that’s, that. Who knows I may win the lottery or I’ll get some sweet gig that would change all of this but in the meantime if you’re wondering why I haven’t posted, it’s because I’m working.

Found Femdom: Fashion Victims

Once again thanks to Aarkey for pointing another Found Femdom my way.

It’s from Polish photographer Aneta Kowalczyk (click for a larger image)

foundFasionVictims The description says “The Pleasure of extreme measures can overcome the desire for being wanted, fashion can play a game within the art of seduction, power and influence over our opponents, but better yet, over us.”

I have no idea what that means.

Subliminal Sex

Sometimes she walks into the livingroom naked and announces she’s horny.

Other times she says she wants me to go down on her or that it’s time to fuck.

It’s at a point now where she’ll walk in the room after showering and before getting dressed and I just assume its fuck-time only to realize shortly after I stand that she’s just in the room to say something. It’s rare that she walks in naked without a sexual demand so it’s a shock when there isn’t.
The other day she walks in the room naked and I start to put my laptop down only to find it’s a false alarm.

“Oh…is there ANYTHING ELSE you need? Anything?”

She’s got me trained that walking in the living room naked means sex.
It’s not just me though, she equates me not wearing glasses as sex time since it’s one of the few times I’m not wearing glasses.

Actually I don’t know why I haven’t tried it. Take off my glasses while we’re just talking and see if she starts showing signs.

Another trigger is Christmas lights. Not because we fuck under a tree every year but because we have Christmas lights in our room for mood lighting while fucking. Almost always we have them on if fucking at night. One time Sade plugged them in for some other non-sex reasons and I started getting hard.

Words work too. Whenever Sade says “oh fuck” as an exclamation I immediately think of her having an orgasm, even if she’s not saying it with the same enthusiasm that she uses when we’re in bed.

There’s a look Sade gets when she’s fucking me (pegging). It’s a look in her eyes and a smile she really only has in that mode. It’s a combination of sadism, control and arousal. Every now and then that smile will come out in unrelated moments and I’m immediately thrown when I see it since I almost exclusively see it when I’m on my back and her hands are holding my ankles. The smile and the fire in her eyes burns even brighter when she makes me orgasm over and over without any control. We could make a 30 second porn with just that look on her face and probably retire today.

She has a million smiles but that one is reserved for fucking me.

“Want My Slave To Go Down On You?”

Early in our relationship it seemed Sade was offering my oral services to women left and right.

Once at a the end of a party a domme friend expressed feeling frustrated.

“Want him to eat you out? He’s really good”

I just stood there stupefied slightly turned on at the thought and slightly nervous that I wouldn’t live up to the hype.

Sade’s friend was surprised at the offer, thought about it for a moment then declined. Instead Sade had me give her a massage.
Not long later Sade offered oral from me to yet another friend who was also slightly shocked, pondered and declined.

“You sure? I think it’ll help you”. She was sure to only offer friends who were single and in need.

This happened a few times more, Sade just offering up my mouth only to be surprised that she didn’t have any takers.

Eventually she stopped offering at all but she still expresses shock when she remembers there were no takers.

My Hangup

Sade has been entertaining the idea of having another submissive over from time to time for service.

My 2nd job takes up so much of my time and the thought is that getting a service submissive to help pick up some of the slack would make things a bit easier.

The biggest issue is my hangup with not being comfortable with another male submissive in the house serving her. A female submissive is another story in my mind, it’s weird and it’s a hangup I really wish I didn’t have.

It’s similar to how I feel about anything sexual between Sade and I and another person. A female submissive has things that I can’t offer and I have things a female sub can’t offer. I wouldn’t feel the same type of jealousy or competition or worry if there was a female submissive here.

We’ve actually had a female sub over for service once and I was much more comfortable than I had imagined I would be. She only came over to our place once and that was it but I worried about it the days leading up to it and when it happened I was only slightly uncomfortable and didn’t feel like I was in competition or anything….super casual.

The problem is, I know it would be easier for Sade to find a submissive guy than finding a submissive woman. It’s just my hang-ups and worry that keeps it limited to a female sub. I hate myself for feeling that way but there it is and Sade respects that even though it makes things harder for her.

I know right now someone is thinking “Well if you really wanted to please her you’d be fine with a submissive guy coming over”. I know, right? This is what I tell myself over and over. I’m standing in the way something being easier for her. Trust me, those words pop into my head every time the subject comes up and it makes me angry at myself.

So I don’t know. It’s not like Sade is actively looking for anyone for the position. If a female came up to her she’d probably entertain the idea if she was a fit. She’s mentioned that if we did have a submissive here then I’d be the “Alpha sub”. I don’t know exactly how that would look but it sounds like she’d have me help delegate things.

I think about it often and it comes out the same way:

Idea of a female sub servicing Sade = “Not a threat and could be fun?”
Idea of a male sub serving Sade = “Who’s that creepy asshat make him go the fuck away”