I’ve had the imagine of being trained by someone stuck in my head for a while now. As someone who wouldn’t mind (understatement) being owned by a woman someday, you’d think I’d know what that means, but I don’t.
Oh I’ve been asked how I’ve been trained. My only answer is that I haven’t.
I’d imagine it depends on the goals right? The goal would be…….too…serve..the dominant…better?
Obviously it has something do to with something. I know it’s not nothing.
There are websites that deal with slave training, most talk about getting deeper submission out of the submissive and reaching a point of “total slavery”.
Total slavery? I have no idea what that means. Sign me up though!
A simple google search brought up Best Slave Training. I just breezed through it. Part of me didn’t want to read any of it since it might spoil it for a future woman that want’s to train me. It would be like learning how a movie ends before you go and see it.
In my mind’s eye I imagine it’s about just learning all of the small things that make her happy.
I’ll occasionally daydream about it both sexually and non-sexually. Since I can’t focus on one specific person that means that random women on the street will be the subject of my slave training daydreams.
I’ll see a woman on the subway and think:
-How does she like her breakfast?
-What body part turns her on the most when she’s kissed?
-How does she like her coffee?
-Maybe she’d like it if I met her at the door every day to take her coat.
-Does she prefer her clit sucked gently or hard?
-Holy shit what if she’s submissive??? I’m daydreaming for no reason! Oh who am I kidding she probably has a boyfriend. Crap she’s getting off on the next stop!
Ok maybe everything I think of as training, others think of as just learning to be a good boyfriend. Hey, I’m working on a blank slate here.
By the way, I think I may have hit a new low when my service/sexual fantasies revolve around women I have little chance of speaking to much less seeing again. I’ll admit I sometimes hope I’ll see their profiles later on one of the many BDSM dating sites I’m on.
To me…from what I gleaned and read, (and please please bear in mind I am by no stretch an expert or even intermediate) training was more “formal”….specific of what that Mistress likes. How and when you are to stand, kneel, genuflect, whatever. Rules of eye contact or speaking. Getting you acclimated to things you have not have experienced before that she enjoys, such as anal plugs or dildos, pain play, etc.
I have spoken to those who preferred their submissive to have gone through this before, to at least not be such a blank slate. But then some don’t like it, as they may want very different things from what was previously pounded (heh) into you.
In my recent post, I spoke more of my one-night-sub than the one I was in a relationship with for over a year. I had pondered “training” him, did so to some degree I suppose….but we never considered ourselves that “serious” – either together, or with regards to BDSM.
I agree with Lilly, from what I know of slave-training. And I also agree with you, where you say maybe it’s just being a good boyfriend. That’s sorta how I see it. I’m not sure if that makes me a not very hardcore dominant person, or a natural… lol
I think of ‘slave training’ as the usual man training that one has to do with a new boyfriend.
What? No one else trains their boyfriends? My friends and I have been doing it since high school…
All women train their men, to one degree or another – be it a boyfriend or a slave. But the women I have known each trained in a slightly different way, though the end result is remarkably similar.
Many confuse BDSM with slave training and they are quite different. A woman trains her submissive to please her and to allow him to know what is expected of him. Successful training takes the submissive to a deeply, pleasant state of being.
All women train their men? I would beg to differ. Perhaps all humans change their behavior to accommodate relationships, but when I find a boyfriend I have no intention of having to train him. If he’s a wild beast who leaves socks in the middle of my floor and hasn’t discovered soap yet, perhaps he has no business being my boyfriend.
Submissive, on the other hand, I take more liberty in training or demanding compliance with what I consider best practice…after this has been negotiated, and I know that the submissive in question is _my_ submissive.
I agree with everything Alisa said, too. I’d say more, but it would just be different words of her same point, lol.
Hold the phone.
You mean if I said I needed my neck rubbed. You’d just do it?
Or if I wanted you to walk around only in blue jeans, you’d just do it? I wouldn’t have to beg?
Damn, wish I weren’t married and broke as fuck.
Good luck on your search though, I wouldn’t think it would be that difficult!
I think this is another term which varies enormously. My experience runs something like this:
My idea of training is, amongst other things, training my submissive partners to prepare my juice the way I like it (one part tropicana grapefruit juice [pink or golden, I don’t mind which] to three parts water) and other assorted ways to please and serve me in ways I choose.
I think the male fantasy “training” is mostly to do with how many different ways they can get off (or not, if they’re chastity kinksters) and convince themselves that their pleasure is really all for her, honest.
I mean, the idea of a submissive “trained in CBT” for example, always seemed kind of ridiculous to me. I mean, the dominant has to be trained how to do it without causing injury and so on, doesn’t the submissive just have to be there and either safeword or not?
I’m guessing your mileage may vary on this one. 🙂
Okay while i agree with some of the replies thought a different view of slave training is needed here. I have been through some slave training and I liked the the way it was explained to me. ” all Masters will train their new slave to their likes and qualifications…but basic training it a way to learn basics and find out more about yourself” I found that this helps when a prospective Dom/me ask certain questions about you, you will have well thought out answers that shows them you are not A noob but are ready for their training. I could tell you more about it if you like…
“In my mind’s eye I imagine it’s about just learning all of the small things that make her happy.”
That’s why we get along so well.
speaking as a long term slave its really not about what gets me off its about achieving pleasure through bringing my Mistress pleasure. I may not even like or what whats happening outside of with her. I may be totally apprehensive about the situation but my will and what I want are of no concequence. The greatest of joys and the highest possible level of pleasure is achieved through pleasing her. It is about casting off ones need for instant gratification to totally satisfy another. Being a slave is highly freeing. 🙂