The $10 Submissive Tax

Ok Just a quick question because I’m feeling stupid all of a sudden.

Let’s say you were going to an event that advertised a $20 cover in street clothing and $10 if you were wearing fetish clothing.

So let’s say you arrive at the event wearing a black tshirt and tight leather pants.

What would you expect to pay?

Personally I’d expect to pay $10 because I’m silly that way.

I wouldn’t expect the guy at the door to tell me that fetish clothing applies to only latex.

I’m still really pissed about it. I’m not pissed about the fact that I had to pay double, I’m pissed because the attitude I got back from the guy was “hey you’re submissive and you’ll pay what I tell you to because I know you have no other choice”.

Grrr I want to go on and on but then again I may be wrong. Plus, it’s so stupid I really shouldn’t waste my energy getting worked up about it.

Leather pants? Not fetish?


Who decides what’s “fetish?” first of all. I dress like a Southern prep school grad, but I’m the kinkiest bitch I know. I understand his point for a “fetish” event, but it just smacks of Foucaldian policing. Second of all, “you’re submissive so you don’t get a choice?” Um, submissive is a choice. That dude wasn’t dominant; he was an asshole.

The person who runs the party or the door generally decides what is or isn’t. It certainly sounds absurd to say ‘latex only’ and obviously the door boy was having a bit of power trip. I would e-mail the organizer and ask him as innocently as possible regarding the dress code, because unless it’s specifically a latex event, I would think your outfit would just barely get you in over the line.

FWIW, from personal experience I’ll tell you that if you get yourself a pair of 6″ platforms you can wear just about anything and get in the door – assuming you can walk safely through it 🙂

Thats why I hate fetishwear pricing – though, on the other hand, this is a girl who bitches about people coming into goth clubs not dressed up goth.

But goth is different than kink. Goth is an aesthetic, and kink, to me, is more a lifestyle. I can be sexy and kinky in whatever I damn well please. Hell, when topping, I’d much rather wear my jeans, and be comfortable moving around, than all restricted in a corset and big heels.

Almost every single place with a Fetish dress code is what I call “Stand and Model” S&M. Not my scene.

I get in fights with door people who decide what is and isn’t fetish, because I love the 1950’s look, and few people consider sweater sets and pearls fetish gear, but it turns MY crank, so fuck them.

Then I get to whip out the “I’m a dominant and not here for your pleasure, asswipe” routine, which is always fun, and usually only effective if it’s a sub at the door.

I agree with Aarkey about the door boy having a power trip issue.

I agree…most fetish items are pretty to look at, impractical to play. A polite email to the party hosts requesting clarification on “fetish” is appropriate with a short synopsis of events would be warranted.

That guy was an asshat! I am sorry that he was such a jerk. Maybe asking the host to clairfy the situation for future events would be a good idea.

We have extreme fetish dress events here in South Florida and it’s strict dress code. Since it’s what our scene is like in Miami we have little choice if we want to attend the play parties.

My Amo wears leather pants and crazy ass silk shirt with the led zepplinn angel on them or a purple silk shirt with Jimi henricks. As of 4 years of attending not once has anyone said anything to him.

He rather not have to wear the leather pants because it get too damn hot but at least his for the most part comfortable.

So basically your saying he pissed on you based on what you are, at ethnic minorities would kick someones ass for that kind of thing.