Sex WIth Vanilla Women

Hey, I have needs too!!

Occasionally I will have a casual fling with a vanilla woman (sometimes it’s better than nothing). I’m trying to stay away from doing it since it rarely ends well. Either they are freaked out if they start developing feelings for me, or they think they can try and be dominant only to feel bad when they realize they don’t have it in them.

Perfect example:

I met her through a friend. We had a natural rapport and were constantly flirting with one another.

We met for brunch one day and she brought up the ever-lovin’ topic of sex.

She talked about some of her bad experiences and a few good ones. I didn’t want to come right out and declare my submission, instead I just said “I prefer to be…..a giver.”

Her eyebrows raised a bit and we had a few too many bloody marys.

“I’ll bet I’m kinkier than you” she declared.

“Ummm I doubt that”.

“Oh really? What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?” she asked.

“You first”, I didn’t want to throw out something that would freak her out.

“I had a threesome once” she said with pride.

“Please, I lost my virginity in a threesome.”

She just stared at me

I told her the story of how it happened and she kept pressing about the kinkiest thing I’ve ever done.

I avoided the question and we talked about our favorite things.

Mine was giving oral (ok it still is) and hers was as well.

Damn, I had hoped she would have said receiving oral was her favorite.

I should pause here for a second and say that, while I, like any guy, love receiving oral. It’s very rare that I can orgasm from it. It could be a psychological thing, I feel much more comfortable giving pleasure than getting it. There are only one or two ways I can almost guarantee an orgasm from oral sex and I had a feeling she wasn’t experienced in either of them.

Anyway, we ended up going back to her place and having a very passionate romp. We did this a few times over the next few weeks and it was clear she was interested in more than just casual.

“Well….there’s something you should know about me” I said.

I proceeded to tell her about what I was looking for and at first she was thrown back. Then she said I needed to go to a therapist, that it wasn’t natural. I was sick.

I explained that it was no different from her enjoying a little spanking when fucking doggy style. It’s just a matter of degree.

She wouldn’t even listen.

Days later she emailed me saying that she had done some reading on the subject, that she wished she could be dominant for me but she just couldn’t.

She wished I had told her the kinkiest think I had ever done on that day over brunch.

On the bright side, receiving oral sex is now her favorite thing.


Bitch. I really hate people like that. Who think we’re sick and need to see therapists. Damnit, my therapist always said kinky was the *least* of my worries.

BTW, don’t you love people who think they’re kinkier than you?

I was hanging out with a kinky couple, and another kinky friend came over, with a sweet, but very vanilla buddy. The couple and I had just gotten back from sex camp, and conversation turned to camp and kink and such.

The vanilla friend proudly announced he was kinky. He had once been with a girl who liked to be spit on. The couple shared a look and were like ‘Um. We know femcar. Also, other stuff thats extra kinky and I can’t remember right now’He looked at me, and I was like ‘Dude, I put my hand in men’s asses. I’d be doing that right now if I weren’t here.’

Vanilla boy was quiet for a while, and we changed topics. All of a sudden, he says “I’ve been to a Furry Party!”

And we all cracked up. I think the furry party won.

Well, if she’s reading up on it online, and now loves receiving more than giving… I bet you even odds that she’s intrigued by domming. Keep in touch w/ her.

So I realize it’s not the point of your post *but* what is the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done :)?

I am also interested in the kinkiest thing you’ve done. 🙂

I try not to date the normals. It just never turns out well. They might MEAN well, they might be great people, but if someone can’t understand why X, Y, or Z get me going… then it’s just Not Going To Work.

Stephanie and Miss Lotus:
Hmmmmmmmmm Maybe a bit of torture could get me to confess:)

“I’m kinkier than you” is like saying “I’m more hardcore than you,” which is just a ridiculous concept to begin with. Since when did sex become a competition?

Oh, that’s right, since the pussycat dolls proved to everyone that men want “hot, freaky” girls all the time.