I’m Not A Man. Wait, What?

A big thanks to Funkybrownchick for writing about how she likes submissive men. Granted she only likes submissive men to be “slightly” submissive (she doesn’t want to hurt them) but it’s still nice to know there are women out there who can see a submissive man as someone who’s still a man. I’ve started to ponder what the difference is between a submissive guy and a slightly submissive guy. That’s for another post.

It’s been something like four months since I’ve been intimate with anyone. The last woman I was with set the bar pretty high so it’s not like I don’t have some wonderful memories. Still…it would be nice not to miss her. It would be nice to meet a distraction or someone to fill the void.

After hearing about a number of my kinky female friends meeting open minded people on okcupid.com, I decided to revisit my account. I’ve sent a few emails but most of them are replied by submissive women.

On the bright side, at least I do get email replies on Okcupid. Even though most aren’t exactly ego boosting.

Here’s one reply I received:

“I read your profile and i’m kinda confused,i’ve never met someone who admits that he want a dominant woman,i thought that man wants to be man. in my past relationships my partners were the dominant ones,but maybe that was the problem:)but i’m dominant at work so i need balance in my life.”

“Have you tried to be a dominant person in a relationship or you alwys were the submissive?In my opinion every normal woman wants to be the submissive in a relationship.”

Yeesh I don’t even know how to respond to that one. I just sat there reading it over and over with my mouth open.

I’ve also opened up a free account on fling.com. There is one catch though, you can’t even read your emails unless you pay. That’s how they get you.

I’ve got a number of emails from women just sitting in my inbox and I can’t read them. What if they’re from the Domme of my dreams? Of course each email lets you see who the email is from and wouldn’t you know they’re all fetish models.

They also claim to have a “hook up guarantee”. If you don’t “hook up” with someone after three months, you’ll get three months free. I can’t seem to find what they consider a hook up though. I’m looking and looking and can’t seem to find the fine print on this deal.

It can’t be any worse than adultfriendfinder, collarme or alt. At least the women on OKcupid will email back.

Rejection is sometimes better than being ignored.

Sometimes.

13 Comments

Don’t let vanilla people on OKC get you down. Saying that it is only normal for women to be submissive is a load of bull.

I wandered here by accident and really enjoyed your post.

Hahahahaha. Normal for women to be submissive. That’s cute.

haha…now how did I miss said profile on okcupid.

Erm, am I the only woman on alt that replies to emails? (Not that it’s really paying off. Most of the ones that initiate contact don’t follow through.)

Wow. I am embarrassed for the rest of my gender. You did not write to me on OKCupid (although you did stalk my profile – I recognized your picture), but if you had I would _never_ have called you not manly for being submissive. Please!

Oh dear, “every normal woman wants to be a submissive”? What on earth for? I like being in charge, heck I will even go as far to say I cannot live happily ever after before it. That does not make me any less normal. Rare, perhaps but abnormal? Not a chance.

Perhaps, it is better to say that all women act a certain way so that she does not feel like the one missing out.

I could go on and on but I won’t.
She is lucky that she wrote you and not me…
..Not normal… sheesh!

Chiming in on the normal woman = submissive. I’m not the expert on normal, but I suppose I’m not, since I have never had an orgasm — and maybe can’t — without at least a mental image of overpowering, dominating, and/or hurting my partner. The wiring has always been that way.

There’s also never been a time that I wanted to change that.

Normal, pffft.

BSUR.

Perhaps she is confusing enjoying sex doggy style with being submissive…..I don’t really know what ‘normal’ is for a woman, maybe I should start asking around and find out what the women around me think.

Grrrraargh!!!!!

In my opinion every normal woman wants to be the submissive in a relationship

Hey, thanks. Because, you know, if it’s not what you want and what you read about in Harlequin novels, it must not be normal!

This line: Have you tried to be a dominant person in a relationship or you alwys were the submissive

Sort of reminds me of the old business about us homos not flaunting our sexuality. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mutant_(Marvel_Comics)#Mutants_as_metaphor

Finally, I’d just like to remind you to consider the source. Those bitches are barely literate! And when I say bitch, I mean not in the good way.

Interesting you mention OKcupid. I met my current dominant girlfriend there, so I can really recommend it.

I WANT A MAN THAT WANTS TO PLEASE ME IN EVERYWAY………… i TELL HIM WHAT I WANT HE GIVES IT TO ME…..IS THAT BEING DOMINANT ???, I HAVE BEEN A WIDOW FOR 25 YRS, CAN’T FIND A GUY, THAT I WANT I AM VERY INDEPENDENT, AND IN MANY WAYS SMARTER THAN MOST MEN……..I WANT THEM STRONG IN THEIR JOB, AND A PUSSYCAT AT NIGHT “PLEASING ME.

Short thoughts:

Dating sites are heinous.

I’m “normal” (enough) and I don’t want / like to be submissive (probably ever).

Ignorant people never cease to amaze me.