Dominant Triggers

A while ago I wrote about some of my physical submissive triggers.

Of course these triggers don’t mean a thing if a woman doesn’t want to dominate me in the first place.

Debauchette recently wrote about someone she knows who brings out the dominance in women.

“Andrew had the tendancey to bring out the dominant side in women. He certainly brings out all of my own dominant impulses”.

I suppose this makes sense. There are qualities a woman can have that make me want to submit to her, make it impossible for me not to want to please her.

This begs (and I do mean begs) the question: What aspects of a guy make you want to tear into him?

I know a number of women who are attracted to very vanilla guys, the thought of corrupting them turns them on. Others like to dominate aggressive guys in order to put them in their place. Both of those examples are the opposite of who I am.

It would be nice if a potentially dominant woman had a road sign on her head so I could know how to navigate to bring that out of her.

“OK, if I take a right turn at being aloof and a left at being cocky you’ll want to fuck me until we pass out, BUT if I head south on shy avenue you’ll want to do that and fuck me with a strap-on after whipping me to tears.”

So what does it for you? What brings out your dominance?

Someone Shy? Coy? Eager To Please? An alpha male you want to put in his place?


This reminds me of boy-watching I used to do with a friend. We’d watch servers in a restaurant or other guys walk by and imagine an interaction with them.

“Him? Oh, he looks very dirty. Look at that cockiness. I’d fuck the hell out of him.”

“Yeah, me too. You know he’s just filthy.”

“Yep, but I’d make him cry first. That would be great.”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you make him cry but I get to fuck him first.”


“What about that one?”

“Oh, he’s dirty too, but he’s shy. Secretly dirty though.”

“Yes, I agree. He’d do anything you told him.”

And so on…

Humm how to answer? Since I have no desire to corrupt everyday boys(since kinky boys are so much more fun to corrupt).
And even less a desire to have to put anyone in thier place (which they should already know). I would have to go with coy, with a sprinkle of eager to please. 🙂

I’m not in the least dominant, in general, but there’s this one submissive man I know who I just want to grab by the hair and do terrible things to. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what it is about him that sets me off, but every time I see him… It’s very out of character 🙂

There is a sweetness that eminates from a willing submissive. I don’t know why but I can taste it.

I must say this at least once. My newest trigger is you axe . I will not make everyone read the list of nughty things I long to do to you , but If you were closer to me I’d on you like white on rice babe. OMG I think I’m blushing. forgive me.

Well, I’m not normally particularly dominant (although there are those in my life who would beg to differ)… but there have been a few men who have brought out my dominant side. What did they have? Well, first of all, they were all brilliant intellectually and articulate. I don’t know what it is about that that made me feel more domme-y. Anyhow… a really smart submissive man who is able to articulate what he hopes from me… that will do it. And if he really gets off on my attention, is willing to do anything for me… that’s hot. That man I will push to see what he’s really willing to do.

Ooops. Sorry. Got kind of excited there.

A timely question for me… which we’ve talked about of late. For me, it’s intelligence and willingness to explore. Also he has to have already come to terms with being a submissive.

Intelligence is a big must. Aside from that, I enjoy the shy-but-eager boys. And it’s nice if they look innocent, too… It means I get to debauch them! (They don’t actually have to be innocent. In fact it’s better if they just look it, but underneath they’re at least a little kinky already.)

And I know how kudzu feels. Not to sound too stalkerish, but if I’m ever in NY, I’m definitely looking you up, if only to chat.

I’d have to say for me the trigger is a combination of qualities. Some of of the foremost are that the man be smart, educated, witty, self confident. The way he carries himself, assured that he will be successful at whatever he does… I also like him to be shy but eager to push himself and his envelope, to be willing to experience new things. I like a bit of stubbornness too, and not too much of a smart ass, else they find themselves WITH one. (wicked grin) Mix in some genuine sweetness as well.

I tend to like ’em big and strong too. Yup.. that’s a definite turn on.. Maybe that’s because I’m rather short. So when Paladin (who towers over me in height) drops down to his single kneed position, bows his head and gives Me his fealty sign, even after so many months.. it still makes me give a more then bit of a sigh, then I want to grab the back of his head and pull it backwards until his neck is bent back and I can look down into his eyes and feel his submission. Being able to ‘tame’ that wild stallion has been a exhilarating experience. Yummmy!

Its nice to see that there are those here who are your fans axe.. and I hope that it cheers you some to know that you can affect the Domme sorts here and cause them to wish that you did live in their neck of the woods.

Best to you, and all,

This is an interesting question! Someone eager to please. Someone who is reactive AND creative. A submissive who is a “yes, and” meaning “Yes, I’ll take your dildo up my ass and I will also be grinding against it.” Someone who is not afraid to express his pleasure for my pleasure.

Thank you soooo much for all the great answers. This may be yet another one of those non-universal things where everyone is tipped off in a different way.

Oh and kudzu and Sadiste- I’m blushing.

Intelligence is a must. But, I like confidence with bratty thrown in, a definite trigger for me. Though a simple Ma’am probably gets the fastest result.

Oh and statements like, ‘whipping me to tears’ also work. Good job!


When I was younger I repeatedly dated artsy, gothy, too-thoughtful types. It turns out that artsy, emo type guys are no more likely to be kinky than the average guy. Whoops.

To this day, I have terrible sub-dar. I guess I like the shy, nervous-seeming quiet ones. But, they are probably also not actually kinky.

I’m mostly sub, but I’ve dommed a few times. If I’m going into the bedroom with a new guy, and he looks uncertain or a touch hesitant, that does it. I pretty much want to grab his body and hair and man-handle him until he’s pleasing me.

the simple phrase ” Yes Ma’am ” works like a charm on me . It may be just me , but when a man calls me misstress it just sounds like he is trying to hard to make me into a fantisy .Ma’am comes accross as truly submissive to me .

I’m little miss switchy pants, but my dom side is attracted to a sane, patient, playful man who is my ideal partner in the vanilla and even the other sense. What makes submission precious is when it’s given by a guy who is secure in himself. I like that he could be doing it and still respect himself, that he’s doing it because he enjoys it not to bribe me into staying. And it makes my little domme-y ego swell when he likes my technique and ideas.

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