It was over a year ago that I answered a craigslist ad for a dominant woman. This turned out to be spam (ok I still believe they are all spam since that’s the only replies I’ve actually had) but it was for a private sex party in downtown manhattan.

The emails always make it sound like it’s a place just overflowing with women and then I read this:

couples $50
single guys $150
single girls free

This makes it sound like there are tons of guys there and almost no women. So much so that they need to give women every opportunity and every guy a reason not to show up.

I did reply to that first email and it started a mini email chain:

Me- Are there any dominant women that show up?

Sex-party-person: Oh yeah!

Me- Really? Do you have a money-back guarantee or something?

Sex-party-person: You’re gonna love it, there’s always a good ratio.

Me: Sounds great! But do you have a money back policy? I mean I’m not looking for sex really, but just to meet someone with an open mind. I’d hate to spend $150 on my credit card and find out that it’s just a bunch of guys standing around.

Sex-party-person: You’re gonna love it!

I realized that whoever (is it whoever or whomever?) was putting on the party either just wanted the money or had outsourced their sex-party planning to India.

I didn’t go but I do get a weekly email from them. I sometimes imagine if I were to someday pay the $150, I’d arrive and it would be just a guy alone in this studio apartment along with 5 cats and two inflatable dolls.

He’d obviously need to get the cats declawed.

A friend emailed me this post this week.

Great isn’t it? (sarcasm)

So ladies, here’s why you should not want dominate men.

“The problem with dudes who are into domination is that they almost always seem to be as fat and cowardly and emotionally-childlike and generally pathetic as they want you to treat them. And the problem with dominatrixes is that they all sound like they’re wayyyyy into video games”

Is that why women are grossed out by my desire to submit and to please? They think I want to be treated as though I’m pathetic?

I don’t get that. Why is that the stereotype?

Let’s get a few things out of the way, at least about me.

I’m 6’2″, 180lbs, yes I could go to the gym more but that’s because I could use more muscle, if anything I’m too skinny. Secondly, the last thing I want is to be treated as though I’m pathetic. I’m sure there are some guys that get off on that, but not this guy.

Emotionally childlike? I wouldn’t know how to gauge that in myself.

Cowardly? Depends on what you mean. Yeah, I have a tremendous fear of rejection and being abandoned. Is that cowardly? Possibly.

The last thing I want is to be treated as though I’m pathetic. Treated as a personal sex toy? Yes. Treated as a “worm”? No.

That last part about dominant women though, I don’t get it.

Then again, the last woman that beat me was humming the theme to Super Mario Bros.