How Much Pain Can You Take?

“How much pain can you take?”

Such an odd question. A great question though, since it hopefully comes from a person who’s thinking about testing just how much I can take.

How do I answer that?


One person might consider me a pain-slut while another might think of me as a total pussy (to this I always say “you are what you eat”).

I’ve been told I’m a masochist, but it’s not like I have a large sample of opinions on the subject.

I’ve sometimes been tempted to ask what kind of pain since there are many different kinds I have yet to try.

If I’m bound I seem to be able to take more. I think. Maybe it’s just because I like bondage. I’d probably do lots of things more if I could be bound while doing them.

The correct response is probably “How much do you like to give?”.

A number of people have asked me if pain and giving oral are the only things I’m into. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I probably at the top of my mind lately though since sadists are so hard to come by and it’s a a curiosity that has me a bit beside myself.

I mean, I know why I like bondage, I know why I like a lot of things. But I still don’t know why I’m curious about CBT and a million other forms of pain/torture.

I recently joined this BDSM social networking site Fetlife. On it they have a list of kinks that you can check off and show your degree of interest. As I went through the list I kept shaking my had at how much there is that I have yet to try. I also found a few things I had never even considered before.

I only recently discovered the joys of being whipped. Holy fuck is that amazing. If half of my curiosities are as amazing as being whipped I’m in big trouble. Holy fuck that’s addicting.

Even though I loved it I still don’t know how much I can take. How does one measure that?

What is the best answer to that question? What answer does a dominant woman want to hear? What turns her on most?



“A Plethora of Pain”

“How much would you like?”

Smut Meme

Ok I’ve been tagged. Months ago it turns out and I’m just realizing it now (I’m an ass).

Mistress Leah tagged me to answer and so here goes nothing. The Q&A comes from Isabella and hope I can do it justice.

Here are the rules: (Sorry, never done this before)

“You’re welcome to post it on your blogs. You must call it the Smut Meme (obvious reasons, I’d hope), you must link to me in the title, and you must tag 2 people, and link to them as well. Oh, and you must post this little blurb of instructions at the beginning, like I’ve just done. Got it? Ok then. The idea is to pick one or the other, even if you prefer neither. I’ll go first. If you want to play along you can answer the questions in the comments.”

1. Chocolate or Whipped Cream: Whipped Cream!

2: Leather or PVC: This is a difficult one. Hmm I like both actually. I have almost no PVC experience, so I’ll go with leather since it’s the devil I know.

3: Outdoor Sex or Indoor sex: Crap why do I need to choose? I suppose Indoor because it’s more conducive to relaxing afterwards.

4. In the Jacuzzi or In Bed: The bed. I can’t hold my breath that long.

5. Bad Sex or No Sex: No sex. Bad sex just makes me crave good sex even more.

6. Dominate or Be Dominated: You have to ask?

7. Thigh highs or Body stocking: I’m a leg guy for sure and if I could I’d choose neither because bare skin is better to kiss. Since I need to choose I’d say thigh highs.

8. Fast or Slow: Damn. Fast but not ending fast.

9. Rough or Gentle: Rough please. It’s ok if you make me bleed.

10. Bite or Suck: I like to be bitten (a recent first time experience for me) but I prefer to suck.

11. Role-play or Reality: Reality. However I’ve never role played so…it might just be that I don’t know what I’m missing.

12. Dirty Talking or Dirty Talking To: Dirty talking to.

13. Edible panties or No Panties: Ixnay on the anties-pay.

14. Spanking paddle or Barehanded: Barehanded, it’s much more intimate….shit but the paddle would hurt more. Grrr ok..spanking I guess.

15. Landing Strip or Kojak: Kojack. “Who loves ya baby.”

16. Multiple Sessions or One Good Fuck: Multiple good fucks.

17. Moaning or Screaming: Hopefully she is moaning and I am screaming.

18. Older Men or Young Men: I’m straight. Don’t you read this blog?:)

19. Three-way or No Way: Three-way

20. Swing or No Swinging: I’d like to try swinging. I’ll mark it as a serious curiosity.

So wait. I’m supposed to tag two people now? Ok umm. How’s about Persephone and Red Lady M.

What’s The Difference Between Beating and Punishment?

I’ve been thinking about the difference between a beating and punishment.

I’ve been caned before, recently been on the receiving end of a rubber flogger, spanked and all that good stuff.

Then I hear stories from a fellow submissive here and there about being punished…with caning, spanking and perhaps a rubber flogger.

So what’s the difference? Is it all context

I’ve never been punished before. As a masochist, I wonder if it would even be considered punishment or if the simple fact that it is being done out of having disappointed would make it feel very very bad instead of very very good.

One friend said

“Play that comes from love, joy, acceptance, etc. feels TOTALLY different from the kind that comes from revenge, punishment, disappointment.

There is one thing that I know I’m not good at taking and that’s face slapping. Maybe it’s because it feels like it’s disapproval. I mean, I can take it physically, but emotionally it makes me break down. At least with the only person I’ve experienced it with.

I’ve often thought that, as a masochist I wouldn’t be able to be punished with pain. Maybe the emotional disapproval is all I need for it to feel like punishment.

Then again, I’ve heard of many submissive who will make mistakes on purpose just so they can get punished. It doesn’t sound very submissive to me, but who am I to judge.

I’ve heard of dominants who make a task impossible just so they can punish. If that’s true too, how do you know the difference between being punished because you really displeased or punished because you were set-up to fail?

I feel like I’m talking in circles.

“Who’s on first?”

“What’s on second?”

“You’re being punished, maybe because you displeased and maybe because I wanted you to displease me.”

I can’t imagine a woman actually needing a reason to beat a guy. Isn’t the fact that she want’s to beat him good enough of a reason to beat him?

Am I A Masochist?

A vanilla friend of mine recently said “Hey if you want to get beaten up by women, just walk into a lesbian bar dressed as Rush Limbaugh.”

I’ve been with a few people who thought they were sadists, but when it came time to play they would just barely tap and maybe tap once or twice then look at me saying “Can you take that? Is that enough? Is it too much for you?”

Yes, I’ve faked it once. But the other times I’ve usually just said “more please”. There’s sometimes a look of sadness and disbelief when they realize I can take more pain than most.

Ok…that sounded like bragging.

I will say this, there’s tons of pain I’m not sure I could take at all. I’ve never been whipped for example, nor have I experienced CBT or a heavy flogging lots of stuff.

Here’s the other thing. I may not actually be a masochist at all.

Some define a masochist as someone who can take a lot of pain, others say its someone who can have an orgasm from it.

I’ll say, from my limited experience with caning, that I’m more of the former. But then again, I’ve never been caned by someone I was really into.

One of the hottest experiences in my life was when I was out on a date with someone, we were making out and she dug her fingernails deep into my side (so deep I had marks in my side for months and months afterwards). I was in heaven. She whispered in my ear “I love that you’re a pain-slut”. It wad one of the sexiest things anyone has ever said to me. Sadly that was as far as it went with her.

I do know that, when it comes to caning, I can usually take a lot of pain. I friggin’ love it. I love taking it for that person, feeling their power and….ok I guess I am getting turned on by it.

I also love the emotional release. I’ve only had one really really good beating and I ended up crying because of it (and because while in deep subspace I thought heard the voice of the woman I was desperate for at the time).

I will tell you one form of torture I can’t handle: Musical theater.

I’ve come up with a few possible craigslist headlines that may attract a sadist:

-Please beat the shit out of me

Nah too graphic

-Please make me hurt

Nope…she could just stand me up and do the trick

-Want to work out your frustrations?

No, sounds like every Casual Encounters post

-Is that a whip and flogger in your hand or are you just happy to see me?

Too cliche

-Beat me and you could win a free toaster!

Bingo that’s it! It appeals to every sadist and…who wouldn’t like a free toaster?