In A Fog

I can barely remember everything she did. Probably because i’m still in a bit of a fog.

As I write this Sade and I are on our way back home, riding the subway early in the morning.


I remember how we had been taking to two of our good friends when she turned to me and said “Well, I think it’s time to string you up and beat you”.

I remember the ropes pulled above my head.

I remember the gag in my mouth prying my jaws apart,h the leather blindfold, how she would work over the skin of my my back until it felt like it was on fire then feeling a break in the beating she was giving me much to my relief only to have my skin met with her teeth clamping down on me.

Wait was that just an incredibly odd run on sentence?
Fuck it I’m still flying.

She bit down on me hard, I could feel her mouth vibrate when she moaned from the sensation. Just when my moans were about to turn into cries she let go and blew a gentle bit of air over the sensitive skin then clamped down on a different part of my back giving it the same treatment.

She flogged me for a while longer until she picked up another implement. I couldn’t tell what it was, since all of her toys were sitting behind me

“This is going to sting.”

And it did.
At some point she leaned in and whispered to me, asked me if I wanted more. I didn’t need to think it over very long.

At one point I felt her sucking and biting on my nipples while still feeling the sting of her flogger. What was happening? Did she invite someone else in our little play space? I panicked for a half a second until I felt a slap on my opposite side. It was her hand AND her mouth. Now that I’m no longer in the moment I’m amazed at her ability to multi-task.

I’d growl from the pain and she’d moan with approval. I’d bark and she’d purr.

My wrists strained against the rope, pulling me up to my toes when the pain got to the highest point.

As I write this now, I realize that there wasn’t a single part of me that wanted it to stop. Usually there’s this small 1% of me, the fight or flight part. Call it instiinct, self preservation or my monkey brain, but usually there’s that 1% that wants it to stop but not this time. Not even .000000001 % wanted it to stop.

It was wonderful.