ClubFEM New York: My Bum On Display

I was incredibly excited when I found out New York was finally getting its own chapter of ClubFEM.

ClubFEM (Females Enslaving Males) is one of the only organizations I know of that are dedicated to dominant women and submissive men.

From their website:

“ClubFEM NYC is a social organization composed of individuals who want to develop sincere Female dominant/male submissive relationships. The Dommes are in charge of the activities at all times. ClubFEM Dommes are considerate and caring Women who want the D/s experience to be enjoyable for all participants. ClubFEM members get to know each other very well and even get together for vanilla activities occasionally. The Dommes are friendly and helpful to other Dommes who wish to grow in their knowledge and abilities.”

For me, the environment is very comfortable. I feel at ease going to a ClubFEM event. All of the submissive males are treated with respect and the dominant women are all very approachable, friendly and…well…dominant.

I would say that ClubFEM is more like a lifestyle organization than a kinky organization. There is a difference.

Having gone to one of the ClubFem parties, I will say this. It’s the first time I’ve been really a bit embarrassed (or bare-assed) by the dress-code.

Submissive males are encouraged to wear one of these.


And one of these except in black.


It wasn’t so bad since some of the other submissive males were dressed the same, though it was a bit of a humbling experience. I guess that’s the point though isn’t it. I was there providing service and every time I got up off the floor to get my friend a drink or some food I could feel several eyes on me. I’ll admit, part of me enjoyed being on display while all of the women were fully dressed. A very new experience for me.

There was just something about being in a place where I knew every woman was dominant, or at least dominant while at the events. Submissive and switch women are welcome to come, though they aren’t allowed to be submissive to a man while there.

Yet another nice thing about CluFEM is that they don’t take advance of submissive men. They could easily make submissive men pay hundreds of dollars just to become a member, but they don’t. Sincerity is the most important thing of all.

Every guy I talked to seemed to view their submission the same as I do, I’m not just kinky, I’m submissive. It was clear that they didn’t show up just to try and get their rocks off.

There were a number of women who arrived with their own submissive males. It was nice to see people who were living the reality of a Female Dominant relationship.

I can’t say enough good things about it, I know I’ll be going to many future munches and parties, I’m sure this group will grow and grow.


How appropriate the submissive men should be dressed to please and delight the attendant women. I’m curious if the ratio of Women to men was fairly even. Unfortunately, such events can often have too many submissive men trying to impress too few Dominant Women. And Women should always be impressed with the men in their presence.


I’m so happy for you! It’s great that you’ve found a place where you fit in and feel so comfortable. I find this post fascinating from a YMMV perspective since while I am normally right on board with most of what you post, I find that website completely and utterly unappealing (even adjusting things for appropriate gender/role). Some of what’s making me twitchy wouldn’t be as apparent at an actual event, but having read the site I’d never walk through the door (assuming, again, it was adjusted for appropriate gender/role).

Mmm…love the pic of the studded collar.

Care to post a picture of yourself in that … um…. outfit? I absolutely adore the D ring in the bow-tie detail.

I second Marianne! Photos!

Also, this ClubFEM seems…interesting. I must ponder.

Ok…there’s nooooo wayyyy I’ll be putting a photo of me in THAT.

I may be high on painkillers right now but I’m not that high:)

How high would you need to be? I have drugs. 🙂


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