Five years

Five years we’ve been together, and now we’re here. Surrounded by people we love and we’re getting married.

Five years

Even though it’s only been five years we’ve already had enough love, laughter and memories to fill ten lifetimes.

I love the fact that I know the exact moment you told me you were falling for me.

And I remember the exact moment I knew I was falling for you. Mine was long before yours by the way……we’re not keeping score or anything….but I did think of it much sooner)

I remember how after only a few months we decided to move in together and how natural and perfect it felt. There was no question, it was the perfect thing to do, waiting would have been a mistake.

There was the first time we watched MST3K together and you laughed harder than I did. That was one of the first of countless times you made my heart go boom.

There was meeting your friends for the first time and being so worried that they wouldn’t like me, or that I wouldn’t like them. Well I’m happy to report…they like me….and I love them.

There’s that first day we spent in Central Park. I don’t remember being so nervous in all of my life. Who would have known at the time that we would eventually spend endless hours in Central Park hand in hand.

There’s our first trip to the farm I grew up on. It was the perfect combination of the place I consider home, with the person I am most at home with.

But it’s not just these big markers in our lives, it’s the everyday things too.

How you look at me when you think I’m being ridiculous, how you comfort and relax me when I’m stressed out, how you make me laugh, how you make happy even when I’m in pain, how you inspire me and you make me want to be a better person for you.

These last five years have been beyond anything I could have dreamed of. But what about the next five or rather the next 5000?

Will we ever get that house with a backyard? Will we move out if New York or are we lifers? Will we have a kid someday or is the dog enough parenting for us?

I don’t know the answers to these questions but frankly it really doesn’t matter. As long as I’m with you, whatever happens will be magical as it always has been.

I’m so honored that from here on I’ll be your husband.

Honored and overjoyed.

Every morning before I go to work, you’re still sleeping but I lean over the bed, whisper how much I love you and kiss you before I drag myself out the door and away from you.

A few months ago I was kissing you goodbye before work, but I wasn’t graceful enough and I bumped the bed. It startled you and you looked around, saw me, smiled and closed your eyes and started whispering from your dream.

You said:
“You’re my favorite, you’re my favorite of all time”

You’re my favorite too. You’re my favorite of all time.

And I’ll always kiss you in the morning.

I’ve spent countless hours looking for a quote that sums up how I feel. It’s impossible to find one but this one comes the closest.

“Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering.”

I’m supposed to have a vow in here so how’s this:

I will love you for the rest of my life and I’ll make sure you never question my honor, respect for you and how head over heels I am for you.

I love you.


This is so very lovely, it makes me feel a little nauseous. I’m not being metaphorical: Reading it makes my insides flip and I feel kind of sick. I’m not even really sure how that works.

Like there is so much sweetness in it that I can’t deal.

Happies: congratulations.


Have been following you for about 5 months. It has been a wonderful small journey.

This particular piece is one of your best. I do enjoy your writing. It is one of the main reasons I continue to come here.

There is such JOY in this piece that it borders on the painful!

Congratulations to the both of you. Continued joy, happiness, and love


thank you for allowing us to see the beauty of your soul out here in the public venue. So many judge this wicked thing we do as evil or wrong or soulless…your words here prove otherwise. What a beautiful tribute to an incredible love story.


Wow. Good job writer, and congrats.

Over the next 200 years or so you will have low points in your relationship. Store this entry somewhere where you can bring it out to read it again and remember the golden days.

Thank you for sharing them here. I felt some tears when reading the vows the first time, and I can feel them coming again now. Beautiful and touching — just like your relationship together.

I’ve been reading your blog since before I met Paladin I belive, and end of July will be 7 years for us. I remember you starting out on the “Grand Adventure’ that is our kinky lives.. and your desire to find a Mistress of your own. I remember reading when you met others.. and when you finally met Her. I was so happy for you then, and I am even more so now! It has been wonderful to read of your evolvement as a couple and then to read of how well things are going.

We didn’t move in together until we relocated from California to Texas in March of 2012. But as you write about you two, so you write about us. I am so very happy for you and your wonderful Mistress. I wish you all the best!!!!

Warm hugs,
Mystress Swan

Hi Ax:

Congratulations to you and Ms. Sade! This was such a beautiful post to read. There is nothing better than sharing your life with the person you love most in the world. No doubt there will be challenges along the way but when you are coming from such a strong and positive place you can’t help but prevail. All the best to you both!

Warm Regards,


I have been reading your blog long enough to remember when you were a bitter lonely boy rambling around NY complaining of shallow women who wanted you to financially support their shoe fetishes, all the while believing you would never find a girl to fulfill you as a submissive or a man. Now I read this, and I cried in happiness for you. And I don’t cry…