As part of my training, she’s started something new. Every day for a week I’m to bring her a handful of rope and an implement for her to beat me with.
She’s doing it to increase my pain tolerance and to help associate pain with pleasure.
I won’t go into the dirty details but I can say this so far.
Day 1: I was really looking forward to it. Antisipated her hurting me, making me sweat, moan and cry.
Day 2: I was scared. She took me so far the night before. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to take it. My ass still hurt from the night before.
Day 3: I was so worried. All day long I looked at the clock and said to myself “15 hours until she does it again”. “Oh no…now it’s only 6 hours!” “Fuck how am I going to do this, it’s only 2 hours away”. She has me pick out the implement and I choose the softest thing I can find. She vetoes it and I make another choice, the heavy leather paddle, she accepts.
Day 4: Something changed…Instead of dreading it I was eager for it even though my ass was still sore and red. Instead of looking at the clock with worry, I looked at it with anticipation.
Day 5: I’m swamped with work on my 2nd job, I’m feeling stressed and overwhelmed. Midnight comes quickly and she makes me cry from a beating faster than I have before.
..to be continued
Interesting idea. I find it’s hard to objectively gauge how intense a beating is when I’m on the receiving end. I rely on her telling me how intense it was. That’s the only way I know my thresholds have increased.
And good for both of you on the tears. I find them quite intimate at times.
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this, it is great.
Your description perfectly encapsulates the kind of exploration and intimacy which BDSM offers and to which, I think, so many of us aspire.
I also appreciate the lack of specificity about what actually happened. It allowed me to focus on your emotional experience instead of getting bogged down in salacious details.
I swear I get the biggest thrill when I read the details of your relationship. the mix of your dread and anticipation…I love it!
Appears that you are finding a way through her training. There are always lessons and secondary lessons to be learn with each new thing.
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