What’s The Difference Between Beating and Punishment?

I’ve been thinking about the difference between a beating and punishment.

I’ve been caned before, recently been on the receiving end of a rubber flogger, spanked and all that good stuff.

Then I hear stories from a fellow submissive here and there about being punished…with caning, spanking and perhaps a rubber flogger.

So what’s the difference? Is it all context

I’ve never been punished before. As a masochist, I wonder if it would even be considered punishment or if the simple fact that it is being done out of having disappointed would make it feel very very bad instead of very very good.

One friend said

“Play that comes from love, joy, acceptance, etc. feels TOTALLY different from the kind that comes from revenge, punishment, disappointment.

There is one thing that I know I’m not good at taking and that’s face slapping. Maybe it’s because it feels like it’s disapproval. I mean, I can take it physically, but emotionally it makes me break down. At least with the only person I’ve experienced it with.

I’ve often thought that, as a masochist I wouldn’t be able to be punished with pain. Maybe the emotional disapproval is all I need for it to feel like punishment.

Then again, I’ve heard of many submissive who will make mistakes on purpose just so they can get punished. It doesn’t sound very submissive to me, but who am I to judge.

I’ve heard of dominants who make a task impossible just so they can punish. If that’s true too, how do you know the difference between being punished because you really displeased or punished because you were set-up to fail?

I feel like I’m talking in circles.

“Who’s on first?”

“What’s on second?”

“You’re being punished, maybe because you displeased and maybe because I wanted you to displease me.”

I can’t imagine a woman actually needing a reason to beat a guy. Isn’t the fact that she want’s to beat him good enough of a reason to beat him?

The Problem With Femdom Porn

I really don’t enjoy most femdom porn. Yeah I know I’m not the first to bring this up.

Sure there’s a part of me that likes it to some degree, but it’s a low degree.

The reason? You can tell that most of them are designed to cater to the malesub fantasies and not for most dominant women.

It’s the same reason I can’t go to a Pro, she’s be doing it for me not for her.

They’re all the same too, seen one you’ve seen them all.

A stern model take a male sub and pretty much does everything to him that every male sub wants. Very rarely does it look like the woman is really really enjoying it.

Men In Pain is probably the biggest one out there.

You don’t even need to pay to become a member to know what the formula is.

A: Hot woman ties up boy

B: Hot woman spanks/whips/flogs boy

C:Hot woman “forces” boy to have sex with her and usually doesn’t even fake an orgasm

D:Hot woman uses a strap-on on boy.

E: Hot woman “forces” boy to orgasm.

They even end with they guy’s orgasm. It’s like they’re saying “ok now that he’s done so is the scene because that was the important part”.

Now I won’t lie, I’ve paid memberships to it before, I’m one of the bad guys. Just because it’s bad, it’s still the closest thing I can find.

Yes, I’ve jerked off to it (hey I didn’t say I was perfect), but even then there have been a few times where I just couldn’t suspend my disbelief enough. Maybe the “domme” was overacting, or maybe it just seemed like the guy clearly didn’t even care about pleasing her. I know a few dominant women who have paid for membership as well. Did they get off on it? Did they enjoy it even a little? I don’t know.

There are a few companies out there that make porn by women for women, maybe someday we’ll have femdom by Dommes for Dommes.

I’m not saying femdom porn should reflect reality, it shouldn’t, it’s porn, but it should at least try harder. Shouldn’t they?

I Love/Hate Pain

I love getting hurt…I hate seeing others getting hurt.

If I’m at a play party and someone is experiencing some really intense pain, I almost always need to look away.

Obviously I know that the “victim” is probably enjoying themselves, and I can see how it can be incredibly hot. I just have a difficult time seeing someone else in pain.

Maybe it’s 90% pacifism and 10% “I wish that were me”.

Even as a young boy, if my little brother was going to get punished for something, I’d try to take the blame for it. Seeing him getting the belt or a spanking was much harder for me than getting the same treatment myself.

I have the same reaction when someone else is being humiliated. I feel bad for them, want to make it stop and just want to protect them.

My ability to accept it and watch or not be bothered on it changes depending on my mood, the situation and who is on the receiving end at the time. If it’s someone I know, then I feel very protective of them and have to keep myself from saying something.

So is it pacifism? Empathy? Jealousy?

Is it rare that a masochist feels uncomfortable seeing others get the treatment he’s dying for?