My First Trip To The Nude Beach

I went to a nude beach for the first time in my life this weekend.

I have one question. Where the hell are the frolicking coeds?

Aren’t there supposed to be frolicking coeds at a nude beach? I mean, that’s why you go to the nude beach right? For the frolicking coeds.

Despite the lack of lounging, playing, swimming, pondering or any other type of coed, it was nice day trip with one of my best friends. She was easily the youngest and most attractive one there so she was getting plenty of guys smiling as she walked by them.

A comedian once said that most of the people you see at a nude beach are people you wouldn’t want to see naked in the first place. I’m not saying this is true. I’m just sayin’.

Lots of old guys.

There were a few attractive women there with their boyfriends/husbands. I wished I had brought a bucket of chum with me so I could toss it in the ocean when their boyfriends went swimming. Hell I don’t know if there are many sharks in the area, but it was my only plan of action.

How do you approach a naked woman on the beach? You can’t compliment her on her shoes or her dress. “Say, nice…. areolae you got there.”

I went with one of my best friends. As always it’s not what you’re doing but the company you keep. When I’m spending time with someone like her it doesn’t matter what I’m doing. She’s one of those people that makes everything a blast.

Driving back through long island was a bit stressful though. I’m not used to driving through traffic and I like to take over driving duties for my friend. It’s a form of service in a way. My stress through the traffic was a bit obvious and she always likes to remind me that I need to stop being a country-boy and start being a cool city-boy.

A few photos from my day-trip:


My first trip to a lighthouse too. Fully clothed of course. Here I am looking for a wifi signal for my Iphone. No, I’m not that much of a geek.




The frolicking coeds probably avoid nude beaches because of slavering guys who only want to date them for their hawt bodies.

I’m just sayin.

see, i prefer being at a clothed beach. this way, it makes more of an impression when i take my top off.

Had forgotten about the excursion and when i did find out well wasn’t able to make the later boat. maybe the next outing it sounded like fun

AlmostMagic: Don’t guys do that if women are clothed as well? Speaking as a guy who prefers brains AND beauty, the two don’t always go hand in hand.

pitseleh: I have a feeling you make an impression regardless of your state of dress.

Dov: Ah, no you’re thinking of the pleasure salon outing, this wasn’t that. Just a friend and I going to a different nude beach.

stumbled on you over at fetlife. i just rolled out of bed reading this blog. “Say, nice…. areolae you got there.”—if that were a pick up line, i’d fall for it. smooches doll, happy frolicking.

Hey, speaking of random acts of service, whatever happened to my new Mac releases update? 😉

Lavender Scorpion June 17, 2008 at 10:10 am

We should talk sunscreen sometime 😉

Maybe the frolicking coeds were all out auditioning for the mockumentary about nude beaches.

You know, if you’re going to write about a trip to a nude beach and then post photos, the very least you could do is put up one of your bare heinie. If we can’t have frolicking coeds, at least we can have Axe ass!

Being female, reasonably attractive, clothed and unaccompanied by a man makes dudes lose their minds and act the fool in the middle of the street.

I don’t even want to THINK about what would happen if I were to get a couple of girlfriends and frolic naked on the beach.

what omnivore said.. pics!

lolidoll: I’m frolicking as much as I can!

E: Only one way to find out! Can I be the test subject please?

Omnivore and Myles: I don’t have any photos like that. Been ages since a woman stood behind me when I was naked. Let alone with a camera.

I think Pitseleh is right: I like to leave a little to the imagination, because if you’re totally naked from the start, how can you possibly up the ante?

There’s also the fact that not everyone in the world who goes to CLOTHED beaches are frolic sexy coeds. Its the same kind of people, just, no pants.

Anyway, the point of going to a nude beach isn’t to get all hot and bothered and pick people up, its to be naked outside in the sun.

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links for 2008-06-17 « Exposing the cherryJune 17, 2008 at 6:38 pm

[…] My First Trip To The Nude Beach | Unspeakable Axe How do you approach a naked woman on the beach? You can’t compliment her on her shoes or her dress. “Say, nice…. areolae you got there.” (tags: funny, nudity) […]

Junkbuzzed: sex, lies, and .jpgsJune 19, 2008 at 6:44 pm

[…] Unspeakable Axe offers up an important PSA about naked old guys and nude beaches. We want to see Brian Williams deliver this on one of those The More You Know…spots on NBC. […]