Helping My Dominant Guy Friends

I am hereby vowing to only post positive posts for the rest of the month. As suggested by Eileen.

I’ve been chatting quite a bit with Bad Man lately. After I made a comment to him regarding the number of submissive women I run across on Nerve, he asked if I could pass alone the usernames of the women who emailed me hoping that I was a dominant. He’d pass along the any dominant women he came across as well. I’m always up for helping a friend so I’ve passed along the usernames of the women who confided in me that they were submissive. I don’t consider it a violation of their trust, if anything I’m helping them find a dominant guy.

I have changed my profile though so it shows more of my submissive side so I doubt I’ll be getting as many emails from submissive women.

I know a lot of submissive women. I’ve set a few up on dates with my dominant friends. There are a few dominant guys I know who will come up to me at an event and ask “Pssst, hey, do you know her?” hoping that I can introduce them.

It’s tricky thing to setup a dominant with a submissive however.

One dominant friend of mine who’s into the more D/s relationship side of things says that most of the submissive women out there are “do-me” subs. Meaning that they’re not as interested in pleasing and serving as they are about getting dominated the way they want to be dominated. I suppose the same could be said for many submissive guys too though.

My matchmaking skills aren’t all that good when it comes to setting up kinky friends. I’ve helped a number of my friends meet others for hot sex or hot play but nothing that resulted in a relationship.

I don’t know many submissive guys however but every time I’ve tried to setup a one of my female dominant friends with one of my submale friends it’s always been a bit awkward.

“Why in the hell would you ever think he and I would be a match?” one friend asked me.

I defended myself, “I don’t know, you both like art”.

It was clear that this was not enough for her, “He’s not a masochist, he can’t hold a conversation and he’s got a penis the size of an eraser”.

“Ok first of all, why would I have a clue how big the guy’s penis is, not to mention his pain threshold , but… Wait, you still played with him even though he couldn’t hold a conversation?”

“Shut up.”

It’s for this reason that I don’t setup my dominant female friends anymore. I just don’t know many submissive guys.

As for my dominant male friends, I’m always keeping an eye out for them.


Always, always, always ask someone before passing their personal information to someone else. Especially in regards to kink issues. How do you know who these women want to be outed to?

Positive posting, however, equals good.

Eileen- I know what you’re saying, but I never pass along personal info (real name real address, work ect). The only thing I ever pass along is what their username is on whatever dating site their on.

Eileen – I appreciate that sentiment, and I wouldn’t be comfortable getting name rank and serial number type information, but I’m not sure – if it’s a username on a dating site, how is that different from being out somewhere and saying “hey, I talked to that girl over there and she seems more your speed than mine, go talk to her?”

Hi Badman!

That approach does make a lot of sense, and I was speaking with more personal information in mind. But I’d like to point out that saying “she seems more your speed than mine” is different than saying “she confided in me that she was submissive.” If the woman is truly “confiding” her submissive orientation as Axe suggests, as opposed to sharing it as part of their public identity, then I would consider passing that information along specifically to be inappropriate.

More of a word choice issue here than a privacy violation issue, I think.

On a totally different topic–setups never work for me either. When I “was vanilla” (snort), I’d ask my friends to set me up . . . the results were god-awful from my point of view and I bitched and moaned the same way your women friends are doing. Matchmaking is for the birds! 🙂

But kind of you to help.

Interesting comments about “do-me” submissives v. service submissives–I’d never heard the term. I think I’d prefer to call that a “bedroom” submissive, heh.

Ever the gent. Here’s to the power of a positive July.

I agree with Jefferson, here’s to a positive July. Hi Eileen!

You might want to switch it around and just give the women the dominant’s username. Obviously, he doesn’t mind being contacted and it leaves it up to her once she’s had a chance to check out his profile.

Glad to see the positivity.

I think MsS&S has a good point.