Now and then I get emails from readers wanting advice. In the past you fine readers have really helped with these questions and so I’m posting another one:

“First of all, I love your blog – when I read it, I got teary – I didn’t know men like you considered yourselves submissive. To me, you are the definition of masculine and yummy all in one 🙂 Sorry – not flirting with you!

Anyway, I met a guy on collarme and he’s scarily ideal and I totally want him. I’m discovering this side to myself recently after years of trying very very hard and unsuccessfully to be a “good girl”. Sigh. Anyway, I don’t want to fuck it up. He’s inexperienced too. He says he likes strong, confident, aggressive – that’s all me but I don’t want to make a fool of myself by doing or saying something wrong. Does that mean I can never have a shy moment around him? Like if I’m overcome with emotion can I show it? Would it turn him off?

Help!”

Here’s my advice:

First of all, you need to think about what turns you on, what you want and what you like about the idea of being dominant. That way it’ll make it much easier for you know what you want from him.

You don’t need to know how to throw a whip, how to tie a knot or any of that stuff to be dominant. You just need to know what you want, or at least be able to take the reigns and explore the different things out there.

As far as showing emotion goes, I’m ashamed to admit when I first started I was looking for someone who was cold, knew exactly what she wanted and would demand it from me and not show any weakness. I don’t know if this is the case with the guy you met but I think it’s a common problem that submissive guys have when they first start out. They have unrealistic ideas of what dominant women are.

Right now I would say just have fun with it. Ask yourself what gets you off about the idea of controlling a guy and then go from there.

How about you dear reader?

I went to sleep early, I was beat (and not in the fun way).

Pulling myself out of bed I stumbled to the bathroom, shower and slowly wake up.

As I dry myself off, the fog of the hot shower fades away and I see it:

Yep…I’m spoiled on so very many levels.

….and I know I’m going to ruin this day for you by doing this but it’s too good (or bad) to pass up.

The worst song of all time just happens to be a song about today.

Enjoy….or….not…it’s really bad.

Click here

Someone sent me the link to a new kink.com site that I was told would be “better than the usual Femdom websites”.

The problem with most Femdom porn is that it’s rare that it looks like the woman is actually enjoying themselves.

There’s a new site is called DivineBitches.com and here’s a small description:

“Women are ALWAYS on top at DivineBitches.com. Walking through the doors of Maitresse Madeline’s dungeon or even just visiting the site, men acknowledge that they are worms, and accept the absolute truth of female supremacy. Men become desperate slut boys for the pleasure of women — their cocks, balls, asses and mouths available for torture, strap-on fucking, and oral servitude.”

That part about men being worms?

Eh

Yeah that really doesn’t do it for me. In fact it’s kinda a turn-off.

Thankfully, I’ve recently discovered that there is some femdom porn out there where the woman is actually enjoying herself. (I’ve even been in a few of them recently). While watching those videos are fun, I’m still not 100% comfortable with seeing myself on the screen. The best part about watching them is being able to relive the experience and seeing the actions that turned me on from another angle.

While I’m on the subject, how did worms get tangled in the mix when it comes to submissive men in their relation to dominant women? Why not ants, cockroaches or some other lowly animal? How did the worm get stuck in this? Maybe the same people who associated worms with submissive men also associated a rabbit with the resurrection of Jesus. (Marking the first and last time I bring up Jesus in a post).