I just came back from the gym. My first in a very long time.
Holy balls I’m aching all over.
I’ve been working out from home for a few months now but it just hasn’t been doing the trick. I’m sure it’s helped some but not nearly as well, nor as fast as I wanted it to. After my best friend bought me a gym membership for my 34th birthday last week, I was all out of excuses not to go.
I wish I could cross the wires in my head so the pain from working out at the gym was equally as pleasurable as the pain brought on by a sadist. I noticed a hint of an endorphin rush but it’s not quiet the same. Maybe it’s because I’m doing it to myself, it’s hard to imagine myself into even faux-subspace to try and connect the dots when there’s a big smelly guy named Bruno ten feet away.
What’s my motivation for working out? I’d say it’s because I want to look good naked, or more importantly, I’d like someone to want to see me naked. I’ve always been skinnier than the average guy.
A few tips I’ve learned from my first experience at the gym:
-Don’t listen to a podcast that will make you laugh and drop the weights.
-Don’t use any machine that will face the leg press machine, if an attractive woman starts using it you’ll find yourself working harder to not get turned on than you will on your actual workout.
-Try not to laugh at the guy who’s whispering “oh yeah baby” while doing squats.
-Try not to drool while imagining a woman whispering “oh yeah baby” while doing squats.
-If a guy approaches you to give you tips on how to use a machine, don’t say “oh, I’m just fucking around” when there’s a mother and her kid nearby.
-If someone starts to talk to you about “reps” and “sets”, just nod until you can go home and google what the hell those mean.
It’s too bad there’s not a kinky gym out there. The dominants could use weighted floggers! What would the subs do? I’m too worn out to think of anything clever.
