It was over a year ago that I answered a craigslist ad for a dominant woman. This turned out to be spam (ok I still believe they are all spam since that’s the only replies I’ve actually had) but it was for a private sex party in downtown manhattan.
The emails always make it sound like it’s a place just overflowing with women and then I read this:
single guys $150
single girls free
This makes it sound like there are tons of guys there and almost no women. So much so that they need to give women every opportunity and every guy a reason not to show up.
I did reply to that first email and it started a mini email chain:
Me- Are there any dominant women that show up?
Sex-party-person: Oh yeah!
Me- Really? Do you have a money-back guarantee or something?
Sex-party-person: You’re gonna love it, there’s always a good ratio.
Me: Sounds great! But do you have a money back policy? I mean I’m not looking for sex really, but just to meet someone with an open mind. I’d hate to spend $150 on my credit card and find out that it’s just a bunch of guys standing around.
Sex-party-person: You’re gonna love it!
I realized that whoever (is it whoever or whomever?) was putting on the party either just wanted the money or had outsourced their sex-party planning to India.
I didn’t go but I do get a weekly email from them. I sometimes imagine if I were to someday pay the $150, I’d arrive and it would be just a guy alone in this studio apartment along with 5 cats and two inflatable dolls.
He’d obviously need to get the cats declawed.
Thank you. That last line, all by its lonesome, totally jollied me out of a bad day.