The pain rushes in and it forces my arms to lift my body off the ground, my feet tied wide and barely touching the floor.

She wants to hear me growl and I know I’m almost there. It’s not something I can just turn on though, it’s a place she needs to take me to. Playing in public makes it harder and easier to go there. Harder because I know others are watching but easier because I know the neighbors won’t hear. It’s a wash really and it doesn’t matter because I don’t have a choice.

Again and again she hits me and I’m at the point where time stops and all there is is pain My head feels warm and I don’t think this pain will ever stop and I’m not sure if I want it do.

There’s nothing for me to think about when she takes me here, my brain stops thinking of five thousand things at once like it usually does, it stops thinking entirely and I just exist.

For a moment she’s gone and changes implements. It gives me time to catch my breath. I wonder if anyone is watching us and I catch a glimpse of a guy out of my left eye, I turn my head away from him and she continues.

For a brief moment she stops everything to kiss me. It’s such a dramatic change from the passion of the pain to something more physically carnal. Then she goes back to beating me. I can feel a tear welling up. It’s not the pain but the dramatic change between the kiss and the pain and back to a kiss again. I don’t know how to process it and I can feel myself whimper.

I’m close to breaking completely and she stops. She strokes my back and it burns. She lets me down and I fall to the floor on my knees in front of her. She stands and holds my head close to her. I feel the warmth of her legs and I love her so much.


This was a wonderful read. Oh to be a fly on that wall.

Hey Axe, I’ve been following your blog on and off for about a year now. It’s always struck me as odd that your old posts got so much more attention than your posts now. Any idea why? It seems like a real shame. You write so beautifully.

There was something really arousing about that Axe, thanks! Nothing gets me going more (or confuses me more) than the change between that loving, caring touch and a painful whipping across my back.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your writing gives probably more of an insight than having been there. Your words help those, who are not so experienced with pain understand how intense and rewarding such an experience must be.

i love this thank you for sharing!