fucking

Trying To Suck On A Moving Target

“Lay on the bed and eat her out, I want to beat your ass.”

I could just leave this post at this point. Those words alone are hot enough.

Sade pointed to the girl on our bed who’s arms were cuffed and pulled to opposite sides of the bed. I lay face down with my face in her crotch. Normally I would have started slow but this wasn’t the beginning of our evening, this wouldn’t be foreplay. Sade had already fucked her and used a vibrator on her and I had used my hands on her.

Still, I naturally wanted to start slow before diving into her with my mouth. That’s how Sade preferred it and that’s how I’ve been doing it pretty much consistently over the past three years with her.

I maybe got one light kiss in on her labia before I felt Sade start in on me. The pain shot through me and I let out a moan and my lips and tongue went straight for the clit in front of me. This made the girl writhe and in doing so my mouth lost it’s target.

Again and again Sade wailed on my ass, striking it with her hand a number of times followed by an implement of some kind. It went from stingy to thuddy and back again. The whole time I was trying to focus on getting the girls clit back in my mouth so I could suck on it and flick it up and down with my tongue but it was either my actions or the vision of what Sade was doing to me that made her jolt her hips up again with a moan. I was lucky to have direct contact with her clit for more than 5 seconds before she’d wiggle it away from my mouth.

I moved my hands under the ass in front of me as gracefully as I could while Sade continued beating me (translation: I wasn’t graceful) then wrapped my forearms around her thighs and back again so my hands were touching my shoulders in an attempt to lock her legs in place so I could hold her down a bit better. This ended up being helpful since I usually like something to push against when Sade is beating me, it’s an outlet for the pain and since my muscles are usually tightening when she’s really pushing me, this would help me put that extra energy into something useful.

The girl wasn’t speaking in sentences anymore, all she could manage for the last hour were moans and a few “Oh fuck'”, “Oh Sade’s”, and “I’m gonna cum’s” but now she was just moans and “Oh’s” so I knew she wasn’t in any position to tell me wether she liked having her pussy sucked hard, soft or something in between. Come to think of it I was in no position to ask either.

This whole time I was torn three ways. I was trying to do a good job with my mouth, loving the pain Sade was administering and trying hard not to get lost in it and trying to ignore my deep urge to fuck. Every now and then Sade would stop to admire the marks on my ass, stroke my back and the marks on my skin and I’d get lost in what she was doing to me only to feel the girl jerk her hips up while I tried to maintain sucking while working her with my tongue. Then my body would scream to fuck and before I started humping the bed, Sade would resume with the pain.

After who-knows-how-long, Sade threw her implement of the moment on the floor and says the words I’ve been waiting for.

“Fuck me”

 

 

Bithday Fucking

It didn’t take us long to rip our clothes off.  I was eager to get to the main event but that was nothing compared to her, I was worried I’d need to beg her to fuck first since I knew I’d end up being a puddle on the floor when she was done with me and I desperately wanted to get her off first.

We explored the room with our bodies, we took photos, and I really got down before she pushed me off of her and told me it was time for her to string me up and fuck me.

My legs were pulled apart and lifted toward the ceiling, I was still on the ground but could feel myself slipping deeper and deeper into subspace.  By the time she had me off the ground with my wrists and ankles connected on either end of a spreader bar, I would have agreed to anything I was in so deep.   It was emotional subspace more than physical at this point and that’s usually just as deep for me.   I couldn’t think and I’m lucky to have been able to mumble “Yes Ma’am”.

After she had me up she had me swing back and forth like a pendulum.  An evil smile came across her face and she took about a dozen photos before coming back to me.

In retrospect it was a good thing I was in such deep subspace, not only because it turned her on even more to see me like that but the suspension cuffs we were using were digging into my wrists pretty strongly but I didn’t want to stop.    She ordered me to tell her if the pain in my wrists became too much to bear.  She knew if I had my way I’d put up with it longer than I should (I had hurt myself before).

It was such a unique headspace.  I was horny as fuck, almost painfully hard and aching- and yet felt so vulnerable, exposed, owned and still so deep in subspace that I could barely talk.

She toyed around with me for a little while, spanking me, using my cock as a handle to move me forward and back before checking my wrists and seeing we had limited time.

As she fucked me she rotated between grabbing my hips or thighs or using my cock for leverage before finally wrapping her hand around the back of my neck and ramming into me while ordering me to cum.   I have no idea how many times she brought me to orgasm, really it felt like one never-ending O.

Eventually, satiated, she slowly lowered me to the floor, kissing me with a big satisfied smile on her face.   On the subway ride home I don’t know that I said anything more than “Oh fuck…..oh fuck”.

Later she’d show some of the photos to a few friends and the feeling of being objectified would wash over me again.   I still shiver and ache at the thought of it now.

We’ve looked at a few suspension rigs and agree it would be a perfect addition to our apartment but it will take some time to make that happen.

Thankfully, my birthday is just a few months away and I know exactly what I’m going to request as the only thing I want.

There’s No Gentlemanly Way To Ask…

Asking for something I’m curious about is pretty much impossible for me. Asking for something I already enjoy is equally difficult.

It comes down to a few things.

-It’s hard to not sound like a do-me sub if I were to ask for something.   

-If a guy asks a woman then it’s creepy. If a woman asks a guy, then it’s hot.

-I genuinely don’t want a woman to do something just for my benefit, I’d much rather she do it because it’s what she wants.

-There’s no gentlemanly way to ask someone to fist you.

I’m using fisting as an example just because I recorded a podcast with someone who talked about it and then had another conversation with a friend yesterday and wondering how I’d experience that popped in my brain.

You can use any number of other things to replace fisting. CBT, sounds, mummification, strap-on play, teasing, or just a good old fashioned beating.

How do you ask someone to do something dirty to you like a gentleman? How do you do it without sounding like you’re just being greedy and not interested in only getting your desires met?

I mentioned this on Twitter and had a few interesting replies. I’ll take their names out since I didn’t get their permission to repost. (yeah..I’m a badass mofo)

“Terribly sorry, old bean, but could you be a chum and just give my prostate a little squeeze? There’s a love.”

“Pardon me, don’t mean to be a bother, but could I perhaps have a hand? In my ass, that is.”

“Do be a dear and shove your fist up my ass. It would be greatly appreciated if you could at your earliest convenience.”

“My darling, what lovely fingers you have there. If it pleases you, feel free to massage my prostate with them”

But it’s not just kinky sex. I remember having a conversation years ago with a vanilla woman I was sleeping with. She asked why I never asked her to go down on me.

Her: “Why don’t you ever ask me to suck your cock?”

Me: “Well, I figure you’d do it if you wanted to.”

Her:”But I think it’s hot to hear a guy ask me to suck his cock”

Me: “Will you please suck my cock?”

Her:”No, not now.”

There’s another side having desires.

While playing, I really don’t think about anything other than what’s happening. I get lost in the moment and forget what it was I wanted in the first place. Or maybe I get into some submissive headspace where what she desires becomes what I desire and what I was curious about doesn’t matter anymore. It’s like my sexual desires become whatever is happening, whatever she’s doing to me or having me do to her in the moment is exactly what I crave.

True, if I”m being teased or something, then I’ll really want to fuck or to go down on her, but I don’t crave any other kind of play.

Maybe that’s a good thing. I’m lucky that I’m never wishing for something else while someone is playing with me.

So is there a way to ask someone to play with you without sounding creepy? Or to ask for something specific without sounding like you’re a do-me sub?

Have It Your Way

We were having dinner one night. Throughout the meal she had been complaining about not being able to find a guy to fuck her (her words) the way she wanted.

“All I want is a guy who can get it up and can last more than ten minutes and can fuck me fast and hard or slow and soft, depending on my mood. Is that too much to ask for?”.

She had broken up with her boyfriend a few months ago and her biggest complaint was their unequal sexual appetites. She was one of the few vanilla friends I had that knew about my…. interests.

Me: Why don’t you find a submissive guy?

Her:Um I don’t want to tie up and gag a guy, I just want him to fuck me the way I want.

Me: Most of the sex I have has nothing to do with rope. Usually it’s with either me on top or my head between her legs.

Her: What about doggy style? Do you do doggy style?

Me: What do you think? That I’d tell her I don’t want to have sex in a position just because it’s not with me on the bottom? That sounds more selfish than submissive.

Her: So you’ll fuck her hard and you don’t see that as being dominant?

Me: You mean I do it the way that gets her off and I don’t see it as being dominant? No!

She looked at me in disbelief and started throwing a bunch of what-ifs at me.

Her: What if she wanted you to fuck her in the ass instead of her putting on a strap-on? Would you do it?

Me: Are you drunk? Of course I would.

Her: And you don’t see that as being dominant at all? What if she wanted you and another guy to double-team her?

Me: I’ve done that before.

Her: What? And you two weren’t dominant?

Me: The other guy was vanilla and it was clear that it was all about her so….no.

Her: What if she wanted to get on her knees and go down on you?

Me: Are you insane? What part of “if she’s getting off, then I’m getting off” don’t you understand?

Her: So do you make her spank you after you’ve done something dominant? You know, to even yourself out again?

I could tell she was just giving me shit at this point. Trying to push my buttons. I didn’t answer her.

After a minute or two of silence and deep thinking on her part, she asked me:

“Can you help me write an ad looking for a submissive on Craigslist?”

Fuckless Fucking

Almost all of my experiences in BDSM have been non-sexual. That is to say, most of my experiences have been play that didn’t include penetrative sex.   

Up until a few years ago I never would have thought that any kind of play without intercourse would have been worthwhile. Back then I always felt it was something that was supposed to go hand in hand with sex. First the spanking, then the bondage, teasing and then the fucking. It was more of a kind of foreplay in my mind more than something that could be appreciated alone.

Then I moved to New York.

It was difficult to make the transition at first. The only people I’d play with would be those I also wanted to sleep with. That made me feel a little rejected at first. After all, I was playing with them because I was attracted to them, weren’t they attracted to me too? Wasn’t that the reason why they wanted to play with me?   

Over time I began to get used to the feeling of playing for the sake of playing. I could enjoy getting tied up or whipped and just enjoy it for what it was: Fun!

Sure I still have difficulty in reading some people at first. I’ll still sometimes have a barrage of questions running through my brain:

“Is she doing this because I’m fun to play with or because she’s attracted to me?”   

“Is she saying she want’s to do more than just tie me up?”

Most of the people I happen to have these mini-scenes with are those I’m already friends with. It’s much easier to let my mind go and enjoy the bondage, the flogging or whatever wonderful thing she’s putting me through. There’s something nice about just letting go and not needing to wonder about what comes next when I know that there is nothing next. I can just sink in and enjoy the experience.

It’s difficult do describe since there is a feeling of sexual tension and intimacy involved.  Especially when it’s with someone I know and like. There’s a closeness that comes from it. It’s unspoken but it’s there.

I like to think these experiences have helped me become a better submissive (Hmm Let me rephrase). I hope these experiences have helped me become a better submissive to someone I have a chance of having sex with. Most of the time I can just focus on the moment and not be caught up on wanting to rush to the sex.

Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m still thinking with my cock, but my cock is just more patient now.

Kinda.