So it turns out my recent posts have made me sound like more of an ass that I am. Then again they may have made me sound exactly like the ass I am.

So here is an apology to every dominant woman out there.

I’m sorry for making it sound like you don’t exist. You do exist, you’re right. When I complain of the lack of dominant women, I should have ended with the phrase “..for me”. I know it’s a common complaint among dominant women. They have no shortage of emails and dates but a big shortage of submissive men that really turn them on. I however, have a shortage of both so maybe it makes it feel like a more desperate situation.

I know it’s not easy for either side, dominant women or submissive men (lets face it submissive women have it easy.. only joking….kinda.)

Yes I do meet dominant women. I do meet many very very nice dominant women (submissive and switch women too).

There does seem to be a big difference between how I view a play partner as opposed to how others view it. Perhaps I should explain.

If I want to play with you, that means I have a sexual attraction to you (I want you to fuck me). Now I don’t expect if you want to play with me that you have the same feelings. It’s just how I’m wired. I can really only play with women that I want to sleep with too. It’s just one of those things.

I know some people can play with people they’re not sexually attracted to. I’m jealous. I wish I could do the same.

My submission is part of my sexuality, it’s very closely connected for me. If I want to play with someone, that means I’m hoping afterwards that we’ll be naked and rolling around eventually. Of course that rarely happens but it’s still part of it for me.

Years ago I made the mistake of playing with someone I wasn’t attracted to. Do you know what it did to me? It made me want to submit to someone I was attracted to even more. It made me want to fuck even more. Me! The guy who wants to fuck more than anything and then to want it even more. It drives me insane and even more desperate than I am now (yes, it’s possible for me to be even more desperate than I am now).

Even though none of my play experiences these past four or five months has resulted in sex, it’s always been with someone I was dying to please sexually as well as mentally. It drives me. It feels passionate, hot and intense. It doesn’t happen when I’m not attracted to the person. It feels empty and lacking in anything sexual. It’s the difference between getting a hug from someone who just met you and a hug from someone you love. Sure they both feel good and they’re both very similar, but they mean totally different things.

Yes, I’ve felt bad having to say no to people. I’ve felt like an ass because it was based usually on physical attraction more than other reasons. It doesn’t mean I felt I was better than them, just that we’re not a match. You know what? It happens to me all the time too. I hear no every single day from women I’m attracted to. Either directly or indirectly. It sucks but I’m used to it. That’s the nature of it. I hear no when I write a sincere email that gets no reply. I hear no when I’m told I’m too thin, no when I’m told I’m too tall, no when I’m told I don’t make enough money or no for a million other reasons. It happens. I’m almost used to it.

I’m blabbering.

So, to sum up. You’ll no longer read about me wining about the lack of dominant women. You’re right. They are out there. You also won’t read about me complaining about the lack of dominant women I’m attracted to (that just sounds like an ass).

It was not my intent to make all of you amazing dominant women feel like you weren’t amazing enough nor dominant enough. I’ve met a number of you. Some of you made me ache with desire the second I met you. Others made me walk away thrilled that I made a new friend and someone I could share a good conversation with and eager to have another conversation soon. It doesn’t mean one is better than the other.

This apology has started to sound more like a defense than an apology.

Hmmm

I guess I’ll just leave it with:

I’m sorry.