That’s One Down, 9999999 To Go

I ran into someone on the street recently who I learned was engaged.

I gave him a big congrats and asked where he met her.

He knew what I meant by it.

He knew I was really asking where he met a dominant woman.

I met him at lifestyle event years ago and we would run into one another at events like BYTE and SMACK. I remember always thinking of him as a pretty decent guy, certainly not a creep.

“Oh she’s not dominant” he said, “I realized I needed to give that up and just grow up”.

At first I was a bit taken by what he was insinuating. I still don’t know what he meant by it. It seemed to be partially directed toward me.

I dropped the subject and we talked for a few more minutes before we went our different ways.

The good news is, that’s one less submissive guy to compete against.


I think your friend may have a point. My submissive personality will never go away; but I’ll be damned if I’m going to remain single much longer in hopes of meeting a ‘dominant woman.’

Nice spin there Axe. Nice spin. 🙂

Lavender Scorpion May 19, 2008 at 10:25 pm

Oh he’ll be back. Don’t count him out too soon. 😉

so long as he’s not back whining about how his wife doesn’t understand his submissive side.

Like I said before, I don’t think that’s the way to look at it. Life isn’t a competition.

Your friend isn’t alone. For some folks it’s a phase and they can pocket it away. But for most it’s much deeper than that.

And there are those who compartmentalize themselves so much that they never tell their loved one, which just sounds terribly sad to me – but if they can find a way to be happy with it, go for it.

I don’t know any of us who haven’t thought about trying to pocket it away. And I know that I seriously thought about living vanilla and visiting pros on the side after my divorce. But I know that I just couldn’t be happy like that.

Am I the only one getting a Ted Haggardesque vibe off of your engaged friend?

“Oh… no, I’m CURED now!” *twitch twitch*

Sounds like settling to me.

And it makes me feel very sad for the woman involved.